Thursday EoD mind dump
Probably gonna get tagged with that title but so what.,, (EoD, end of day,,, or Explosives Ordinance and Demolitions,,, end of day in this case)
Wandered over to BCE’s place and found he had posted an early post (as he is on the road for the day headed to his mountain home away from home)
Been keeping my thoughts to meself over many things, but sometimes, there comes a point where ya gotta say your peace, and this time, BCE pulled that rabbit out of the hat and
Have to absolutely without a doubt agree with this’un,,,,
And I got to thinking of that definition of ‘mental disorder/insanity’: that insanity is defined by society, and those that step out of that definition are ‘Insane”. Its all subjecttive,,, The Aztecs would be considered insane in todays world, total homicidal maniacs: yet in their society, ripping the still beating heart out of a (rapidly dying) still alive person was considered a religious event, to be shared and celebrated. We would be considered ‘bug nutz insane’ for thinking otherwise.
That subjective thing,,, its also called “A MAJORITY”, and to those people like the one that will not be linked, Dylan Mulvaney,,,, Y’all ain’t a majority despite your getting inordinate amounts of press coverage. Last I read, y’all don’t even make up a full percentage point,,, What you are is a useful tool for those that wish to destroy a country without firing a shot on it, and you are their tool to humiliate THE MAJORITY into surrender mode. Hope that gives you a warm and fuzzy feeling, knowing that in reality, you are ‘the useful idiot’. AH, but then your actions show your delusional realm and we shouldn’t expect you to understand what happens to all the useful idiots when the game makers ‘win’,,,
So, yeah, Chop it off or KNOCK IT OFF, and let the adults take back over dammit!!! We are all getting a little tired of the bullshit gaslighting that such types help feed.
End of Day, end of week for me, start to the weekend. Plans made, but not sure I can attend to them or not. Buffalo is being her ‘you got money, I want new parts‘ self again. Like I expect otherwise, considering she has near 300K on the odo,, Just gets a little old after several weekends of wrenching,,, I may say to heck with it, and push the limits and go play instead. Gonna reach out to the others and see how the land lay there.
And I have a conundrum taking place in my skull as well. Short version, Found another kayak (and the peanut gallery groans,,,) fiberglass version of one I have been eyeballing since before I picked up Lizzy, and the price is right, BUT,,, I would have to sell Lizzy to make the deal doable without killing my finances with blunt force trauma. I have the Vizcaya that needs moved as well, but that would only alleviate the financial pain, not equalize it.
Most of y’all know that Lizzy seemed to be ‘divine intervention’ and I keep hesitating on making the call due to the way I acquired her. (Dio, its JUST a boat,,,). yup, that thought keeps passin’ in the forebrain, then the hindbrain jumps and starts screaming about ‘bad karma’ and other krazy things,,,
And I know how this plays out,,, I put Lizzy up for sale, and the day that I sell her, that other boat gets sold out from under me, and I am looking again,,, That seems to be the luck I have. Happened two (three?) years ago with a P&H Sirius,,, Sold the boat I wanted to part with to buy the other, and boom, it was sold to someone else,,,
OR— I go ahead and make the buy, then am sitting on Lizzy for months and months and months, trying to get my financial house back in order,,,,
And I may do a reach out and offer ‘Earnest Money” to hold the boat. Not sure how that would pan out, or if the trust department is strong enough (in this day, trust is fleeting unless close friends.). The only reason I am even considering it right now is with how well work is going for me,,, We hit our dry spells, but right now I am going pretty well, even with a four day work week. That may not hold after the summer months,,,,
sad panda Dio, wants and needs aren’t all the same thing, and I DO know better than pushing for wants over needs,
What I want is what I’ve not got, and what I need, is all around me,,,,,
I’ll figure things out and while I may not be happy, I will be content,,, Guess that’s all any of us can ask for in these days, no?
It’s called life,,,
Feeling much better today. Whatch’all didn’t know was that I put new wheelbearings on Buffalo yesterday. Yes, while fighting of internal buggies n such, but before I tipped the bottle,,,
and that wasn’t the danged problem.
Pretty much knew it when I jacked up the front end and didn’t get ANY wobble or wiggle out of the suspected bad side. (note, I just did wheel bearings on her two years ago, and those were definitely bad). well, money spent, send it. go through all the motions and I slways do suspension parts in pairs: anything else is false economy.
and the noize was exactly the same as before.
Low Differential fluid,,, Topped of the front diff and the noize abated. GM front drives are always in motion, just not fully engaged across both wheels.
I feel a bit miffed that I didn’t figure that out before I went and spent a chunk of cash on the parts. BUT, I have two good bearings sitting on the shelf for the future (not a danged thing wrong with them so I boxed em and when/if these bearings start to fail, there they are.).
Its one thing to be mad at myself for a simple (NEWB) mistake, but then, I am not turning wrench everyday like I usedta back in the day…. Nor is my hearing all that these days. That I could hear it tells me it was getting really bad. but diff gears are robust, they just need lots of lube to not burn up.
It’s called life. We age, things fail, on us and things around us, and we keep moving forward in time, until such time as we don’t, but time never stops. Mistake made, and may be made again later down the road. BUT, next time, I check fluids before I go dropping cash.
It’s kinda icky out today. Grey April skies, threats of rain (that we need!) and chilly. Seeing how I just fought off the bugs, I think I wanna hold off on kayaky stuff today, maybe even build a fire in the stove to knock the chill in the house down. (gotta watch that though, its real easy to turn the house into a literal oven.)
And that means I work on writing stuff,,,, Still working on that re-write and sequel so there is that,,,,
more laters as I get the gumption,,,
Oh, to be able to see,,,
I may not be able to hear all that much, and it comes and goes according to location/proximity to crowds/noize, but I CAN FLIPPIN’ SEE.
Sarah posted up two very illuminating posts that help one to get back on the track of ‘this too shall pass’. While these posts are very much drumming the “we win, they lose” mantra, they are also based in empirical observation from someone that grew up in a communist/socialist country and can see past the bullshit we get muddled in.
And there was a post up on another place that I will NOT link too, that talked about ‘in 130 years, this ALL will be irrelevant’. While I agree with the point, I don’t like the site and won’t give them any traffic, even if its the small numbers of my readership.
The point of that post is this: In 130 years, there is going to be no one alive today left on the planet, and these events that we take for serious and obtrusive are going to be footnotes (at best) in history and most people THEN, won’t give a tin-whistle of care for it. (think about how people look back at 1900 NOW: 99.9% couldn’t tell you who was president then, let alone what people were thinking at they traversed into the 20th century,,,)
I saw some posts recently on Utoob of a guy and gal that are going around the US and finding ghost towns, or near ghost towns. Like Cairo Il, (link is to video)
And this brings me back to some of those empirical observations of Sarahs. (too many to link, so bear with me). Like the fact that our Census says we have 350 MILLION people occupying space in this country.
Have you seen the number of “cities” that are near vacant? How about all the boarded up or ‘for lease’ buildings in Cities with actual populations? If you were to take a drive around Appalachia, the number of burned down, or flat abandoned houses (not just trailers, but actual homes with foundations,,,) would astound you. (hell, there are two foundations/collapsed houses here on my hill in the woods. If you aren’t looking for them, you will never see them.)
When you want big centralized government, your agencies are going to fudge the numbers to keep the leadershits happy. Thats why when BCE did the numbers of what the DOTMIL actually has versus the money spent, he was SHOCKED. When census’ happen, Think about the padding tha happens by people such as the mules that are documented carrying extra votes in 2020. When the local welfare office is dependent on federal funds, do you think they are going to be flat honest about how many ‘clients’ they have. Do you think the ‘clients’ are telling ‘swear to God its the truth’ when they tell the welfare office how many people are living at a location?
The whole thing is a racket from top to bottom, and its all shouldered by the tax payers. I don’t care to call welfare or workfare peeps Taxpayers since they are paid in tax revenues from the start, (even though they pay taxes, at least in some cases. UNLIKE those guys I work with that ‘pay’ a grand or so a year into the Rectum Stuffers coffers, but collect 5 grand back at tax season,,,, THAT sounds a whole lot like a Ponzi Scheme to me: “keep voting for us and we will take care of you,,,,”)
I am 100% sure that the numbers we are ‘given’ are padded. I am 0% certain what the reality is. But I see entire cities that had decent populations at the beginning of the last century, that are now 90% empty, and while I see more housing being built in urban areas (all that farm land being sold to developers,,, I cry,,,) but it sure doesn’t ‘add up’,,, There is a lot Kerfluffle over the Illegal infux of so called refugees of late, but I ain’t buying it. Those ‘mobile replacements’ are not here to expand their horizons, or oppurtunities,,, they are here for ‘the free ride’. You know, the one that is about to implode when Current Leaders Pretend continue to ignore reality. Look above and see how you can apply the numbers of “refugees” to a padded Welfare report, to drive higher influx of FedBux (digital transfers of NOTHING,,, but I digress,,,)
((full disclosure,,, I am 1/4 way into that bottle of Larceny,,,, Such a fitting name,,, not the actual definition, but the emotions that word inspires,,, I’m running with the buzz at this point, enjoy,,,))
I want you to pay attention to that second post by Sarah. I think it safe to say, and I would bet serious money, you would agree, that ALL of our media is compromised. ALL OF IT…. Those links that I post to WRSA, are OPINIONS of others, not ‘news links’, because, IMO, ALL of the news is so compromised by propoganda these days, I stopped looking at it. Even the offshore sites that seemed neutral, are no longer on my daily. I will cruise through them once a week, just to ‘get that finger on pulse’, but seriously, PRAVDA is what comes to mind no matter where I look these days. That whole ‘if it bleeds, it leads’ paradigm,,, I get that you want to drive your stats, thats how you make money, but that doesn’t drive “TRUTH”,,,,
I may piss a few of ya off with this next part, but it encompasses that whole SOCIALIST thing called Social Security. Here I am, 54, not old enough nor broken enough to be able to claim it. I have no dependents, I have no handicaps, I am considered ‘highly qualified’ for any number of positions, and I am MALE, and WHITE, and SINGLE,,,, My hopes and aspiriations of getting on ‘A check” are in the negative percents: they would likely figure out how I had to pay them FIRST,,,, (Oh, wait,,, I already DO,,, Every pay check,,,,). I have stated that I have no problem pyaing into the system because the way I see it, I am supporting my dad in some small way… (I don’t pay near as much as he recieves a month,, no way no how,,,, That means that the rest of society is ‘kicking in a portion’ as well. BUT, when you have one third of the population being working paying taxpayers, one third supported by tax revenues for ‘legitimate work’, and the other third supported by the other two,,,,
Something is fucked,,,,
There are those that paid into the system for years and were ‘working class’ that are supported by the system now… THEM, ok, I got that…. The ones I chomp at the bit over are the ones that never worked a day, or were wastrels from the get-go, and are now ‘rewarded’ for their incompetence. The Felons that are not hireable but getting $1200/mo for that fact…
I bust my ass for TWO STRAIGHT WEEKS to make that sort of cash(and fall short by a few Franklins). They get it for sitting around figuring out their next con/whatever, eating cheetos and playing with themselves>>> OR <<<<. Making babies that are going to follow in their footsteps and get us one step closer to “Idiocracy”,,,,
I don’t give a damn what color you are, what ‘gender’ you ascribe to(just as long as you aren’t trying to force it on little kids), what religion you claim,,,, Don’t give a fuck.. What I do give a fuck about is if you are a LEGITIMATE. Contributor to our society. Do YOU hold to these standards?
So long as it hurts NONE, do as ye will,,,, (and that none INCLUDES YOU!!!!).
drunk, talk tomorrow
Domestics Sunday, funday,
And kinda depressing at the same time. First off, its grey nasty scattered APRIL SHOWERS sort of weather, not that I am complaining about the weather or anything,,, It’s flipping SPRING and my fav-O-RITE season of all. NO, the depression kicked in while assisting Da with his lawnmower. I realized that I am becoming the teacher, where he had been mine,,, Kinda hard to express the entire event that brought it on, without making an entire story post about it, but I realized that our roles have switched a bit and it hit me a little hard.
I also realized (reinforced) where a lot of my self-doubt comes from, since I heard him saying things openly that I often say in my own head when I am struggling with confidence issues. And I was telling him the things I have learned to say to myself, when such times come about: “Shit like this happens, we are only human, and to be perfect would be boring,,,” etc etc etc. Yeah, lawnmower issues were a self inflicted wound and he was embarrassed by it. Shit happens; shrug it off and move on,,,
Took both Lizzy and BlueJean out today. about an hour for each,,, Lizzy first since she was left at home last weekend,,, Geez, I thought I had my sea-legs; HA!!!! She reminded me that she is REAL SEA KAYAK and that in her you had best keep your hips loose. I settled down after a bit, but that first 1/4 mile,,, EEK!!!! Found a rock and did some hip-snaps and that helped give my hips some wiggle room and settled the hind brain down a bit too.
Then I took BJ out just because I wanted to paddle and not need to think about it. What a confidence inspiring boat. Harry Tieken really nailed that design down pat. Slower, but damn, just point and go and don’t worry about a thing on the water. Y’all saw that pic of my busting through DamWave on the Elkhorn, It looks a whole lot more exciting than the reality of it,, I said she never wobbled and she didn’t. I would take that boat through Tide-surf and be as cool as a cucumber the whole time.
And now I am home, and considering loading camp gear into the boats ‘just in case’ I want to go out. No rush to do so, since I have a workweek ahead of me, but I am really wanting to do that Kayakamping thing and SOON…. There was a couple that had paddled to a point and were camping at the lake, and seeing them packing it up onto their sit on tops got my ‘wanderlust’ twitchy.
And I wish B and Fam and I lived closer together,,, I enjoyed the break of the weekend doldrums yesterday (two weekends in a row with friends,,, hot shit!!! I may be getting addicted to that,,,) and seeing Bub running around playing with the toy I picked out for him,,, Yeah,,, gives a godfather a warm fuzzy feel,,,
Been a good weekend. Highs and lows, without going to extremes in either case. Short one for me since I usually have three day weekends, but hey, theres seven hours towards my next paycheck already in the chute,,, that’s gonna help a bit on things here. (note, I payed off completely, one of my debts,,, It is a revolving account, but right now the debt shows ZERO and I intend on keeping it there for a while.)
But this drizzly warm afternoon and some physical activity has caught up to me and this ol’grumpy bod is sayin’ “NAP! NOW!”,,,, LOL.
diktats from furriefuzzyfluffheads
it’s amazing to me somedays, just how much three little furrie murder machines dictate how I am allowed to dwell in my own residence. Mamakat has taken serious liking to my office chair as “HER BED”,,, Zooms likes to be close and uses the ottoman I have for propping up the hind feet, when I am here typing out things,,, And Grizzy,,, where every my chest resides is HIS, HIS, HIS I SAY!!!
And Voo,,, Dunno whats up his silly butt, but he has been demanding walkies out the yahooo the last couple of weeks. Maybe the shift in weather and dawggum has cabin fever,,, dunno, but it never fails, I get two or three GOOD paragraphs into the writing thing (doesn’t matter what, Blog, book, just thinking,,) and there is the Voo pushing his head under my arm pit sayin’ whatever it is a deaf dawggum is trying to say,,, He seems happy enough with the walkie thing, and I can usually tell if the food bowl is not to his satisfaction (he plops next to it and stares at me,,, Pretty obvious, no?)
I say I own pets, but let’s be honest:THEY OWN ME,,,, They have me very well trained too. I just reside here, this is THIER house. Call me the maintenance man of this demesne: I sure ain’t king of my castle,,, the royalty here is 11# of Fluff with 5 out of 6 sharp ends and her two footmen and her Canine Calvary. (and that 6th end is very ‘vocal’ about moods.)
And we are BACK…. Told ya, three paragraphs, here comes dawggum,,,, ‘gotta poo da!’ And this time around, Voo was doing his thing, and Cuz’s dawgs decided that then was the time to jump him (I wasn’t all that close). First got a nip in and then two others saw Voo trying to clear out and thought he was running scared. He wasn’t, he was exiting the area in civil fashion.. The three got to see just what a Catahoula Cur can manage by his lonesome when you cross the line.. All three are now sporting torn and bleeding shoulders and hips: Voo ripped ’em up and ran them all the way back to their house.(and not a scratch on him,,,) and Now, is lounging on the porch watching that way, and if any of them start heading to the drive, he sets up to howling. “I kicked your smarmy asses, you little bitches, now stay home and think about it, ya little inbred shits!!!!”. And that is just what they do,,, run back to their house,,, I am laughing my tuckus off over this new script of “As the Dawg Rolls”. Not at all bad for a twelve year old mutt thats out of practice: I’m proud of my boy! (and he is too. That tail is riding HIGH when he is walking around now.)
grey drizzle drizzle kinda day out. My ‘girls’ are riding in the breeze over Buffalo, but with the chill, the drizzle, price of gas,,, Thinkin’ I should just stay close to home today. It’d would be perfect day to get some miles in, IF, there were another go and enjoy it with,,,, Somedays, i would rather paddle alone, others, I want that friend out there with me. Today is that day,,, Not for safety’s sake either, just companionship. I see it with Mark E, too. He loves spending time with new people, and will take days out when new people click. Being alone is not always ‘lonely’, but there are times,,, I can go weeks without seeing another face (that isn’t covered in fur and whiskers) and be fine (it was when I went weeks without even that, that I started going a bit stir-krazzee and sent up my plea to Universe “I just wanna dawg”, and Universe blessed me with my VERY PROUD OF HIS BAD-SELF Voodoo.). And there are times, where hearing another voice is in demand, and not a recording, but someone to interact with. I am not ‘desperate’ for that, but it would be nice to talk to someone that responds with more than “Blert” or ‘mrawr!’ if that. (dumb looks are ALWAYS free,,, and my fuzzies have ’em aplenty.)
daylight shifts again, back to the millstone tomorrow, but the trees are budding out, the cold nights are getting warmer, and the days,,, Well, it is KY; things can be ‘different’ and still be normal around here. And I fully expect to see lots of sunlight this week, while I am working and can’t enjoy it properly,,,, LOL. Just like when I was in school,,,,
PSSSSST, look on the side bar. I have to admit, I give up. I tried several different ways of adding a tip jar, using conservative friendly sites (GAB etc,,,) and frankly, not one worked, for whatever reason. I know with GAB, they wanted you to join, or so it seemed, though there was an option, quite well hidden, that didn’t demand signing up. Anywhoos,,, The ‘Donate’ button is active again, yes, PerPuke, but dangit, the link works and isn’t a labyrinth like the others.
And no, I ain’t blegging, I only know there have been messages in my inbox asking how to support me without buying a bakers dozen of my books (though that would please me even more: give em away to people, spread the word,,, OR send me a word and I will see about getting you a discounted rate for multiple: I still make a royalty, and you can resell them and make some back yourself,)
Trip, boop! SPLAT!!!
another trip down memory lane this afternoon,,,,
rain out at the J.O.B. and I ain’t complaining, (except for that ‘no work, no pay’ thing,,, ugh!!!). it was COLD out there, and wet as all get out, and my ‘job’ today was an install of an intelligent (they ain’t) gate. Welding included and I hate welding on icy steel; things can get a bit exciting when a sheet of ice slides right into your welding puddle,,,,
anywhooos, did some chatting with B (he was at work, but slow day for the same reasons we were not at work,,,,) and I sent him a link to my first blog-site.
I’m dying here,,, That picture in the side bar,,,, Yeah, that’s me,,, the year was 2004 and I was on a gig in Newport KY, and the young things I am surrounded by were a dance troupe from NKU. And the Photographer was my Ex,,, (not that this pic led to that demise,,, that was years later,,,). All day today, I kept looking at that pic, thinking, “Christ! I really was young then!!!” and knew NOTHING even though I thought I knew Something,,, I knew sound, and how to turn a wrench, and that was about the extent of my skills. Oh yeah, March in formation and shoot expert on the Marine Corps ranges, both pistol and rifle. (and part of where that moniker snuck in at,,, )
I was thirty-six and felt like I had the world by its short-hairs.
I think the chorus in that song sums up my life then,,,,
and that blog, damn I was a chatty rat wern’t I? LOL. Prolly why my posts tend to be quite a bit shorter these days,,, I feel like I already said it all,,,,
and to what end?
Nothing changed, or at least not for the better,,, Maybe I learned a shit ton more, but the more I learn the more I realize the less I actually know, and that one person is going to have about as much effect as a fart in a hurricane. There are exceptions of course,,, but ultimately, those exceptions are rarer than hens teeth in the short term.
To be honest, reading some of my words from that time, I am surprised as hell we are HERE now,,,
and maybe that’s a part of why I just ‘dongivafuk’ anymore. Oh, I care that there are shitstains in the world that are bound and determined to be the top of the heap even if that means dropping the living standard of billions into the cesspits,,, but what can I, ME, Little ol’ lonely ME on this hillside do????
Laugh at the fucks,,, laugh at the stoopid antics of those that claim to be better people than such as me, or B, who would pull a complete stranger out of the water and try to save his life, or Mark, who just paddled 45 flipping kilometers today and so far has paddled 6600 kilometers (give or take, he has hitched a ride here and there,,,) with the message ‘Reverse the Bad” and not harping on the ‘Glorious leaders pretend” bad shit, but OUR bad shit we do out of callousness or just not thinking.
in one of those posts I talk about the Oblammymessiah and how the turd never did a days worth of work in his life, still hasn’t, and yet,,,, Hell, the turd didn’t even WRITE the books with his name on them,,, And I would bet his ghost writer doesn’t make all that much off them, if anything past the one time payment Oblammy-o-boy coughed up,,,,
Trust me, writing/publishing is WORK!!!! This from a guy that toured the US as a roadie!!!
(and I am not giving the ghostwriter shit,,, any money when you are trying to ‘break in’ keeps you moving forward,,,)
And I am not hammering any political side in particular, just one individual in this case. Actually, when that pic in the blog was taken, we had just hit the $4/gallon mark while The Shrub was in office, so one side ain’t no better than other. Actually they are the same coin,,,, a plug nickle and worth about as much IMO: and looking back at my writing then, I was just learning that,,,thanks to Bill Buppert from ZeroGov, and Larken Rose, and a deluge of other older writing all the way back to Spooner and Locke,,,
Keep in mind, I was also teaching myself Machining skills, foundry skills, gunsmithing, and breaking away from the leftard indoctrination,,, All while faking being an IT professional (I had the certs, but not the background,,, And another reason why I think certifications are a sham,,,, )
My REAL education didn’t start until I hit 40, and I made up for 40 years of wasted bullshit in short order,,,,
And I’m still learning,,,
Doing the work, but you drop that ONE thread,,,
Maybe I was mean,,,
Maybe I was distracted,,,
Or maybe I just didn’t type fast enough,,,,
This morning, coffee cup in hand, Mac in the lap, and. ‘wheres Athena???’
Its pretty silent in my head right now,,,, Maybe I have enough of her story written out, or jotted in notes, or,,, but,,, She’s not here today,,,, It’s jarring, Almost like losing that irritating friend that you somewhat sorta liked being around because they kept you on edge, just enough, without pushing you over: then one day, just gone,,, It leaves a void, not as deep as losing a loved one, but, something is missing and you can feel it.
Lots of notes. and thats unusual for this pantser, (and part of my goals thing from the turn of the year, ‘be more pro, stop relying on gut, and take notes’). so no, the story is NOT dead in the water, Actually, there is quite a bit of it written that YOU haven’t seen yet and even if I hadn’t taken notes, I would be able to pull some rabbit out the mess that is there. I have intro, crisis and tension built, but not the resolution as yet, so it could go several different ways,
but it may take a little longer now,,,, Unless Teena comesback/wakesup/climbs out of that mental hallway she wasn’t supposed to wander down in the first place/whatever,,,,
BUT, heres the fun part for you. I am not writing in Scrivener this time around. I busted out all what you have read so far in Vellum, and have options to post this in different formats. I am thinking I will make it a separate page with an option for DOCX, PDF or EPUB, and you get to choose how you want to read it, including in HTML as a webpage if thats what you would prefer. And Released under Creative Commons, so “Free” Again, like that taking notes thing, this is part of my learning curve to become ‘more pro’ since writing the stories is just the meat of the job, not the nuts and bolts, bones and cartilage, of the ‘job’.
I’m reading today,,, well, I read EVERY day, but sometimes what I am reading is simple escapism books, to take my mind off the day/week I am having, or just to forget about what a mess things are, even if for a short moment.
BUT, this book (as linked in last post) Fun to read, and probably a bit more to digest for some people, as in, read a chapter and let it ferment in the back of the head for a few days before moving on (had a few books like that, stuff that went off like a time bomb weeks months years after reading it). and in reading it, I realized that some of what he is saying is the same shit I have been saying in other ways, here, off and on, for several years.1 Like the conversation between Mackey and Nudge at Macks deathbed; The two minds thing and the one WE think is in control, isn’t. That gets brought up, and a particularly good case in the debate is made.
Is it truth?
My truths may not be your truths. You may feel very strongly that the Holy Trinity is FACT, IRREFUTABLE and to say otherwise is HERESY. Ok, thats YOUR truth,,,
Mine is a whole lot more forgiving, but still requires ETHICS and MORALS, and that whole ‘eternal damnation’,,, entirely in YOUR court, up to you, your choice.
Actually, I really liked Sarahs definition of TRUTH (paraphrased because I can’t find the original now).”Truth is what remains when everything else has faded away.” And in keeping that in mind, we will all know, individually, the truth, eventually, when ‘this reality’ has faded away and we leave it. To say yours is the ultimate truth is rather narcissistic, but really, who am I to say you are wrong. I freely acknowledge my beliefs may be wrong, and I may even outgrow them as I learn more. I may even come around to your way of thinking,,, Who knows.
What is TRUTH,,,,
What I do know, we may be created in the image of God, but we are most definitely flawed: that is a truth. Not that its a bad thing, but we are not perfect and thank the lord hallelujah AMEN for that!!!! Perfection across an entire species would be boring and likely detrimental to its survival. We each have individual strengths and weaknesses and those, across the board average out for the better for the SPECIES. Occasionally, one weakness (usually seen as a strength at the time) rises to the surface and things get really ugly for a short spell. BUT, the majority usually reacts to bring that one bad apple back to the fold, or just eject it into the void for recycling.
where am I going with this?
we are broken.
we are not perfect.
we are absolutely BEAUTIFUL in that fact
and I know I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Y’all have a good evening, more tomorrow when I get a near a keyboard,,,,
1 “Learning is finding out what you already know, Doing is demonstrating that you know it, teaching is reminding others that they know it just as well as you. We are all learners doers and teachers.:” From Illusions, by Richard Bach
early mornin’ ‘sits n tinks’
some posts have no point to be made, just me talking to the aether, letting my consciousness see what the other side has been doing in the off-times, or just letting the stew settle so the good bits float to the top. Pretty much whats going on here in this one.
I have a full plate this weekend with the NewYears Get-together of Kayaky Friends. And a slam build of a Ergometer for B. B and I have been handling the logistics of Donor Parts and lumber and other odds and ends that will be needed, and all of that will be coming together on Saturday morning. Gotta keep T happy too, since they are the hosts of the Get-Together, so B can’t be ‘in the garage’ as much as he would like. LOL. Like I keep telling him though, building things is how I “play”, and its ain’t work to me. And with both of us doing it, all the odds and ends already in one place, the build is just details at this point, shouldn’t take more than a couple of hours at most.
BUT, He is going to have zero excuses come race time,,, (evil grin)
about the only aspect of this build that will be different, is setting up some fold-away brackets to lock the unit so it can’t wobble. T may want to play with it and her Duck doesn’t wallow in the water like our boats do and that wobble may put her off: hence B wanting those anchors. (and yes, T raced last year as well, )
Long ass day yesterday, but with the added hours and the added pay increase, my check was ‘comfortable’ to me for the first time in well over a month. IF they can keep the hours flowing in similar fashion, I may be able to turn this financial wreck that has been building since September, around. I can’t say the Zon knocking the price of my books down hurt me, since pennies are all I have ever really seen in royalties, and in one way, they may be doing me a huge favor at this stage: getting my name out there more.
Really need to work on that myself, not rely on others for it. (and I have been, but in drips and drabs.). Self promotion is NOT a introvert strength. And I wonder how many people reading this site swear I am NOT an introvert: lol. It’s a whole lot easier to ‘let my hair down’ with the filters of internet proxies. And when I do similar in public, it takes me days to recover my energy levels: its part of why I am the ‘early riser’ when camping. I need that ‘me time’, silence, watching the world wake up in its own way, to at least get a surface charge on my internal batteries. And I can spend some of that time with four-footed furries and not hinder the recharge. Mostly because the fff’s are so intune with the world around them, they don’t interfere with it.
Remember Sasha watching the sunrise? She sat there ‘recharging her battery’ for nearly ten minutes, watching the sun come up, not twitching a muscle. It was quite sublime seeing a dog acting that poetic.
Obviously, I find mornings to be the best part of every day. There may be those days where its at some other point, but this time,,, where I don’t have to worry about the world interrupting “me”,,, (and why I prefer the Mac over the phone or PC, no pop ups, no annoying programs running in the background that demand attention when you least expect it, and I use the phone as my hotspot, located out on the porch for maximum reception; no pings, dings or whoop-whoops of incoming messages.). Yeah, this time of day is my ticket to peace of mind. And I probably need to become even more of an early riser.
to let those of my readers interested, know what the status of Wings II is, Using the PC for the re-write is a must now. I can not get the Mac to open ANY of my files on WIngs,,, I have tried several options and the best was to use Vellum, only to find out that half of the story was not saved in that format. (9 chapters made it, dunno where the other 20(?) vaporized to.). BUT, it gave me a chance to really play with Vellum and that is what I am going to use for the final format. I really like options it had versus what I had used.
Yea y’all, I am WORKING, even when I am playing,,, i just really TRULY despise using the PC these days, but, if it works,,, The other option is upgrading my Mac, which is in need of it,,,, but, $$$$$. and y’all know how that works.(and NO, emphatically NO, that is not a bleg for help, “I’ve got this” )
Sky is getting light, must be sunrise, and that means my world is about to start getting a little furry as the kittehs wake up and realize that Dads up, coffees on, and that means CREAM!!! little flippin socialist scrounge-monkeys that they are,,,,
strange, productive and strange
gonna start this off by admitting that son of bossman tossed me a bone,,, a little extra on the paychecks. not an insubstantial amount, (though not near what I could be making in a better location, I will say that, but “BETTER”}
And I had to take a short day yesterday because our gas supplier screwed up and dropped us a tank of Tri-mix. 90% helium, 7.5% argon, 2.5% CO2. A TIG welding gas, not MIG. And boy howdy did my MIG hate that shit. I managed one bead and knew something was off. checked the bottle and made the call. Luckily, today was our normal delivery schedule and they made good on bringing my normal refills and replaced that bottle with the ‘right stuff’. I would love to TIG our stuff, but its not profitable for us to use TIG. and its galvanized stuff so quick and dirty MIG is the best way to go. We used to braze this stuff and that went through the roof around six years back. A 10# box of rods for brazing went well over a Benjamin and boss man was livid. I made the suggestion of MIGing everything and Son of Bossman agreed, and even told me later that the MIG had paid for itself in less than 6 months in what it saved them.
They have done well enough that they bought a new Miller-matic 210 dual voltage unit and that thing is just the bees knees in my world. Made for welders, by welders with all the bells and whistles you could ask for and MULTI-PROCESS so I could TIG with it. I have Stick welded with it and its just as smooth as a MIG weld if I crank the amps up (Like you should to some extent.) It even has dual gas ports on the back side: one for the MIG, and the other for TIG. Son of Bossman has mentioned that he wants to buy the gear to do TIG, but I just can’t see the oldman parting the purse strings for that at this point. and not much need anyway. (but it would be nice to weld our aluminum gates instead of ordering them when needed,,,, Just not much demand of them right now.)
Came home, did some logistics with B for the upcoming weekend. We are not only having a get-together of KrazzeeKayakers, we are building him an ergometer too. GOOD, He is my race buddy and I want him conditioned for doing that 13 mile run as well as me. As long as all the parts are in order, it won’t take but a few hours to rig it up, and get things tuned for use. The second version only took me a few hours and we have mine to copy from. easy peasy.
but today FEELS weird. I mentioned that. and its nothing I can put my finger on. Just odd. Strange weather blowing in? I know ol Arthur was bugging me yesterday mornin’; but not today. We either have a lull in winter on top of us, or we are in for a flippin’ heatwave,,,, But I think the bone chilling cold is away for a bit (February is usually our IceBox month,,,, followed by cold wet March and flooding,,,,)
again, it may be that lack of sleep thing, but this time, I have a culprit. GRIZZYKAT!!!!! That little bastard was bouncing in off my head about once an hour last night, yowling about “its Rainin’ Da!!! Makes it stopS!” *sigh*. Rained off and on all night, but didn’t really get cold. I think the night temps actually came up a couple of degrees. It’s January and I did NOT have a fire, two nights in a row,,,, whoa!!! (I do tonight, but mostly to knock down a ‘damp’ house feeling, and the temps are supposed to drop into the low forties tonight.)
Maybe THAT is whats got me feeling ‘off’,,,,
Totally ignoring the world at large right now. don’t want to spoil the vibe I am building for the upcoming weekend. If there is something about to blow up, LET IT. I’ll be cool on my little island of friends, playing with boats and toys for boats,,,,
Oh I SO WISH,,, purrrrrrr!!!! Not to be YET,,,
Why so serious?
Because no else is gonna take me seriously, ya?
Then again, I can’t take myself TOO seriously either or things could get pretty ugly: that whole INTJ thing, with the last “Thinking” and “Judgmental” being the operative words. I think the Introvert and iNtuitive side keep the other two in check to some degree, at least on the societal end of things. At a personal level I feel they feed the OCD side that the last two induce in me. Been more than a few times I have fallen DEEP into some task and days have gone by and meals not ate,,, Happens frequently enough that keeping my weight down isn’t as much of a fight as it could be: though maintaining a healthy diet can be problematic (because I will stave off munchies with total crap just to give the hands and mouth something to do and keep out of the way.)
And I have to watch myself closely. example. Recent forays into the world via the window of Utoob,,, You know where I mean, and in this case is the exposure to the efforts of Mark Ervin, his Reverse the Bad tour of the Greater Loop (good name by the way Mark)
The desire to get out there and start doing that very same thing became STRONG, QUICKLY. It rolls right up my alley as something I want to do before my days are done. AH, but that’s the catch and the part that IRKS the Judgmental side of me. And where I start saying “Ok, step back, let it sit a week and see where the feelz sit then”. I must do this often on many things. I have a very addictive personality and things can sweep me up in a whirlwind before I realize that I should be hugging terrafirma,,, And why I am so cautious getting into relationships. I have had more than one whirlwind romance that fizzled like a wet firecracker. (and I have a boat named after one of them,,,LOL)
SO, Do I truly want to do the Great Loop? (not the Greater Loop that Mark is doing, but up the Hudson to Erie skipping the Nova Scotia route)
But not RIGHT NOW. and thats the whirlwind I must fight.
There are plans that need to be made for something of that magnitude. Arrangements of things, FINANCING because food isn’t free as just a start, plus there are equipment needs that must be met (and while I have quite a kit, I do not have all I would need, LIke a VHF radio to comm with other craft and Locks. and it must be handheld, waterproof, FLOAT, and easily recharged by means I have yet to acquire as well. One thing leads to another,,,,)
Then there is the “personal reasons” things. Is this something I want to do just to say I had done it (usually a bad decision,,, just sayin’) OR do I want it to mean something bigger than just me? Mark’s journey has a purpose beyond just doing the deed, and it shows how dedicated he is at that purpose by his interviews and interactions.
Another side of it, Am I ready PHYSICALLY? OH to the hell NO!!! Could I paddle a 50 km day? Yes. right now, yes. Could I do it 6-7 days a week for 52 weeks? ummmmmm,,,,,,,,,, Probably not,,,, BUT, that’s a ‘Yet’ statement as well. I have done 37 miles in one day, but we sort of cheated. It was during a dam release, and while we kept ‘outrunning the bubble’ of the release, it did give us a boost. Even then, my arms were wet noodles by the time we hit the takeout. (37 miles is 59 klicks.). I can paddle a three-and-a-half mile-per-hour pace for hours on end, and that is also boat-dependent. That three point five is in BJ, I am certain it will higher in Lizzy, who has a higher hull speed and MUCH smoother finish on said hull.
As for the mental side of it,,,,, I’m an introvert: we live in our heads more than we live in reality, so spending days, with little to no interaction with others is not that much a hardship. I have found my limits on it while living in Texas, and how I came to share orbits with Voodoo, but that limit is measured in MONTHS, not days or hours like some people I know. (and some people that orbit me (like Haley’s comet orbits our sun) can’t go 1 minute without getting a little unhinged. They can’t handle the noise of their own minds. You’ll know them by asking them to sit silently for five minutes. In sixty seconds they are squirming like a 2-year-old after a sugar binge.)
Now, some of what I would need is already in place, like this blog, a way of connecting to the internet anywhere I am, a majority of the gear I would need, BUT, to attract those interested would require more effort on my part, and likely going the whole Utoob route like Mark did. Driving donations, not just to whatever charities I decided to push for, but to myself as well (and I WOULD donate what donations I didn’t need to one of, or split between whatever charities I chose when it was all said and done.). yeah, more work to figure out, and that can wait until I decide when/how/what, IF I ever do.
And there might even be an option of writing about it, book form, after the fact. People DO still read, (even though there is the question as to HOW MANY actually do these days, seeing the ubiquitous nature of video sites and the traffic they generate vs a written word site.
SO, fortunately for me, Mark is taking the Christmas holidays off from paddling. He is visiting his father in Canada for them, and will get back to paddling after the New Year. I have a chance to set things aside and see how I feel about them further down the road without feeding more fuel to the beast,
And in two weeks, this may dilute down to the simple “bucket list entry”
NOW, that’s not to say I don’t want to do an extended paddle with camping involved, A majority of my purchases the last year have been for camping equipment, and boats, so the desire to do that is much longer lived than the recent ‘oh, oh, OH,!!!” of doing a year-long paddle around the eastern half of the U.S. My getting into kayaks spurred that dream from the get-go, and I have always looked for boats that can carry gear (with the exception of the WW boats, and also one reason why I struggle adjusting to them: they don’t fit the profile in my head,,,). I was disappointed in Lizzy on that note, even going so far as finding and downloading the trip notes of the expedition she was designed FOR (the NORDKAPP expedition, 1975). The paddlers of that trip noted how hard it was to stow gear, so I don’t feel so bad in my assessment. BUT, long-distance kayaking has always been in the mix for me: this isn’t a new obsession, just a variation of a theme.
(funny note, Mark and I almost share a birthday, with him being 10 years and 364 days older than me. I found that hilarious when it came up on his Vlog.)
slow start morning and a memory
Its the beginning of my weekend and I like to take it easy getting going. Have found if I start in a huff, things get expensive and with the way prices are, that doesn’t take much.
But I woke slow and was dwelling on a memory of my past. There was a kid I grew up with that was the seed of my thoughts, though what those thought centered on was “Value” and perceptions; Personal perceptions specifically. See, this kid was a die-hard comix collector. He would buy two copies of every X-men comic and all of the various spinoffs. One was for reading, the other would be bagged and tagged and stored in a footlocker. After he had read the one ‘for reading’ IT would be bagged, tagged and stored in another footlocker (he had his “A” books and “B” books and each was labeled as such) Now, that may not seem like a bad thing and it wasn’t: when he went to go to college, he used that second footlocker as collateral for the student loans. The entire footlocker appraised at well over 20K, and that was his “B” books.
But it was a concept I could never understand. I don’t know if its the way I was raised, or just that I don’t attach a monetary value to every single thing in my life. I see value beyond a price tag. Like with Books: yeah, they cost a certain amount of cash to get, and thats expected, but what do they HOLD inside. I’ll use “The Hunger Games” for now. Entertainment, 5 stars. But there is far more in those books than just entertainment: there are mirrors held up to look at the world from different perspectives, allowing the reader to see things in new light. They pull back the curtains hiding the ugly side of people, even the good ones. She mentions frequently that at some point, the decision to kill an ally is going to be forced on Katniss. That may be an extreme point, but there are actions that every one has to make that are not optimal, and that was one way of showing it.
Even as entertainment, there are lessons to be learned. I don’t recall many of the ones from those comix, but I am certain that they are hidden inside, even as I could bet that some of those lessons are closer to indoctrination of Marxist ways. (said indoctrination is insidious and has been quite dominant for decades). But the Value is far more than just some arbitrary monetary value assigned by some accountant. And there are some that are absolutely valueless (IMO) for lack of anything other than escapism, which has some value all its own. Me personally, I want to read about the thoughts in the heads of the protagonist, see how other people think when the shit’s hitting the fan, even if its fantastic and somewhat unbelievable, it may have kernel of truth that gives me options later down the road when I am in some fucked up situation.
Even in books like “The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy” there are lessons. The various races of aliens are mirrors to differnt mental states of people and how Arthur Dent bounces his way through the Galaxy like a pinball with no control of direction is analogy to how most people live their lives.
Those books have much more value to me than the price tag, and I have copies of them all, and NONE are ‘bagged and tagged’ awaiting some assayer to attribute some monetary value to them. They are all dog eared and torn covers (all but the hardbacks, and those may be missing the outer sleeve, but they tend to be better kept then the paperbacks.).
And every time I move, my ‘friends’ go with me, and take up far more space than my personal effects. (and those boxes are HEAVY!!!). Only one time did I not take all my friends with me, and that was when I split from my last GF and I have been slowly replacing those lost friends over the last fifteen years. It wasn’t an easy decision to make either, let me tell you. But the situation dictated I needed to ’empty my cup’. (and I have picked up quite a few new ones along the way as well as old ones that were waylaid.)
And its not just books. One of the reasons I would probably not make a good business owner is how I see the value of people. I would have a hard time assigning a ‘wage’ to someone, and some people would be given next to nothing (because the bring next to nothing to the table) or so high that I would go bankrupt (because those are the people that actually build your business for you.). And of course, there are all the regulations and Minimum Wage laws, and now, here. locally, demand that certain federal/state fees MUST be accounted for before you can work within city limits. (Workmans Comp payments must be shown or you can’t work as a contractor. EVEN IF, you have never had a workmans comp claim laid against you,,, EVEN IF, you are solo contractor without employees,,,, ).
IMO,That last is an example of “Value perception”. and just how skewed the value can become when Government gets its paws involved.
But I digress. Maybe I have more than a little bit of poet in me, since I see value in things far deeper and richer than just ‘Money”. I see experience as far more valuable and being able to get experience through the words of others, via book, spoken word, or in modern ways, in video, holds more value to me than just the price tag assigned. (and look at how much experience Rittenhouse and the latest Defender gained through FPS vid-games. Maybe it looks like a game, but that level of expertise in shooting, that has career operators applauding, is astounding. Those games hold more value than I formerly suspected.)
So, what brought up this memory? I heard that when my friends dad had died, he had his dads library ‘bagged and tagged’ and sold it piece-meal through EvilBay. I recall that library and those books and just how large it was ( all four walls of the basement, ceiling to floor and several stacks of boxes full). I wouldn’t be surprised if he had multiple copies of every single early release of Heinlein (and I know he had them all the way to “Friday”, because that was my introduction to Heinlein, and I picked it up from his library.). I can garan-danged-tee you that said friend NEVER read a single book in that library. No pictures, so they held zero interest to him and were only worth, to him, what someone else was willing to pay for them.
I don’t get that. I guess I never will.
And I am okay with that.
Life carries on,
Way back in me early years, I read Orwells 1984, and before that date. I was like 12 when I read it, and while the story gave me the willies, even then, my early years, I ‘knew’ that it was a story and that no society could go so far down the tubes as described.
Boy howdy was I frickin’ wrong.
What I didn’t understand at the time was the “Mob Rule”: That a mobs intelligence is one half of that of its dumbest member. And a society is a Mob in a very real sense.
Look around you. We joke about the Enemedia being Orwells MiniTru, but when I read articles like Doctor Malone discussing how mRNA tech history is being re-written,,, Are we really all that far from it. Constant surveillance through devices we readily carry daily,,,, Maybe the information flow is far too great to keep up with, but the point is the same. Once you become a target, getting your information becomes stoopid easy, and the way the laws are arbitrarily applied, and as numerous as they are, they will find something to stick you in a cage. Yah, we have the MiniTru, We have the Big Brother surveillance. Our ‘military’ is rapidly become the Ministry of Love with our perfumed princes of the potomac ignoring the basic premise of a military and pushing the inclusivity and diversity schtick. We have a figurehead that fully represents what the shadow government thinks of our Untied Staatz (HT to BCE for that’un).
There was a poll recently (and while I don’t give much credence to polls, this one seemed ‘mostly honest’) saying that 28% of the population feels they may need to take up arms against our government. and 68% of the rural population feel threatened by our government in a very real way. (Personally I think the numbers a tad higher, but people will tone down in a state where they are paranoid of being targets.)
I think whats bugging me the most is how the US, while it has been at the forefront of most everything the last 100+ years, is lagging behind across the board this round. Canada had the Trucker Convoy and stalled an entire country for months. The US repeat was a popcorn fart in comparison. We have the Dutch Farmers shutting down thier country in response to government overreach, and here,,,, crickets. The Yellow Vest riots in France, that as far as I know are still off and on, and the people rising up against totalitarian overreach ’round the world, yet here,,,, The only riots we have seen are the burnlootmurderwegetpaidtodothisshit groups that have Soros fingers so far up their anal cavities,,, The only “Insurrection” event was so peaceful,,,, you know the one, the one that AOC swears she almost died in. yeah,,,,
And yet no one ever mentions the burning dumpster fires and pink pussie hats of 2017 with minimal arrests and near zero coverage (and only positive coverage of the pussiehat shit) by the enemedia,,,,
Do I want a fight? Not really, but its obvious that TPTB DO!!! They either want it here so they can ‘find reason’ to implement the ‘final solution’, or they want a world war so they can ‘rally support’. And the attempts are so farcical that even the dumbest member of my work force sees it.
They know if they really push for the gun control thing, going straight to confiscation, they will spark off the next Civil War, and I think even they know that is a game they won’t win. BUT, they so want to be “The Power” all while having this delusional game plan.
I look at the “you will own nothing and be happy” plan. And I can see how they think it will work. If you could get it in a static laboratory environment, it MIGHT work for a few years. Problem being, the world is NOT a static environment, and people are NOT widgets that Always operate perfectly. We are human, we make mistakes, and we adapt. People like owning things. Even apartment dwellers like being able to say that they OWN something, even if its just the car they drive or that superwidescreenTV with the 30000W sound system and the 64bit octocore processor gaming computer they play with. You want proof that people like owning things? Look around at all the storage rental places. If that isn’t sign that people want to own things, even if they can’t keep it with them and are willing to pay for a place to keep it,,,, Storage rental is a big business with lucrative cash flow.
Personally, I don’t want to ‘rent my life’ from others, knowing that if I were to say the wrong thing to someone, that I could be doxxed and suddenly all those things I ‘rent’ would be pulled, up to and including my means of income. That situation, which is what Soros, Schwab and the Davos peeps want for the rest of us unwashed masses, would lead to a three tiered world. You would have THEM, (S,S,&D crowd) US, those just trying to get along, and then the shadow world, blackmarket etc.
Even Orwell described that in 1984. Winston bought his notebook from one of those people in the shadow world. He ‘rented’ his hideaway crib where he had his dalliance with the girl from the same people. There were three tiers there as well.(while not a proof that the ‘new world order’ is a failure out of the gate, but it does show that others have thought this through to fruition and the fallacies are obvious.)
I don’t want to live in Winstons world. I’d rather load the Ghostboat with as much as I could carry and head out, tempting fate and the environment. At least there, the rules aren’t arbitrary and applied at whim. Mamanature may be a bitch, but she doesn’t shift the rules ‘just because’.
Not that I am worried about things going that far. The backlash is growing, and while the MINITRU doesn’t cover it, the internet is NOT silent, and the signal is still getting through. Look at Sri Lanka, look at the how certain countries are getting very little coverage (India is one that ‘isn’t playing’, China, Russia, none of them are ‘falling in line’ with the NWO plan,). The signal is there, IF you know what to look for, and that keeps this thing from rushing headlong into that ‘utopia’ they envision.
Even if things fall so far, life carries on. Look at how people lived during the seige of Stalingrad. There was still day to day taking place at the end of the German Reich, and after the firebombing of Dresden. It may not be anywhere near the levels of comfort we are used to, but people carry on, food makes it to a table, even if that table is a napkin on a lap in the basement of a burned out basement. It may not be filet mignon, more likely rat or cat or a can of cat food, but someone is going to be eating, and able to carry on the next day to do it all again. Selko was very good at describing life in Bosnia, and if things continue forward at pace as I see it, WE will see that here. At least in the cities, maybe not so much in places like where I live, but even here things will get ‘rough’.
Ok, enough with my meandering thoughts today. Part of my thinking is due to a weather shift today. I am thinking that we are in for one hella bad winter forthcoming and maybe I need to double up on my wood pile. At least I still have time and resources to do so. So, think about what we are seeing, what I discussed above, and then get your butt in gear to do some prep of your own. IF you live in a city or the burbs, and can’t get OUT, by all means prepare anyway, but think seriously about “SmellSec”. The smell of cooking food will carry for miles and when people are hungry, their noses are as good as a dogs. Its not just the means, but what you do to insure you can KEEP IT.
Idle hands, devils tools
Creativity is not a blessing, its something of a curse as well. As Sarah points out over at the Mad Genius Club, the price of being creative is that you have to create.
Self admission of late tells me that I have been lax as all get out on that note. I have had to be ‘creative’ in finding some solutions, but that is not creating, thats problem solving: totally different animal. I haven’t made a dent in any re-writes, or the sequel to Wings, or any shorts, even my writing here is taking a major hit. Even in my kayak-y world, I have been leaning on what others created, and done nothing of my own. I have a paddle that is half finished and no drive to wrap it up. Its been on the wall for 3 months now.
Oh, I could likely ‘create’ all sorts of excuses as to the why I am not doing anything, but the fact is, I am NOT doing anything creative and its taking a toll on my psyche. My anxiety levels have increased.
When did it start?
That is part of the problem. I know damned well when it started and that point was so far out of my control that only DOG had any say in things. While I don’t want to open up that crate to expose to the world, it is still trimming my rudder for waters I would rather not be in, and while I have to be in them, its effecting other things, like my drive to create. That isn’t an excuse, its a fact that I need to find a work around to. If I don’t, it becomes the excuse and those start to accumulate like snowballs into avalanches.
And why so many of you are seeing me hit the escape button so often. What I have to deal with is inside, and I try to get away from myself more than is probably healthy.
Even my drinking is back up, and I know where that road leads.
And some of that has a lot to with the work environment; what was convenient, has become a burden.
What am I trying to do in this post? Vent? Rant, (no, there would be a lot more cursing,,) Beg for help (nope, Other than for a friendly ear,,,) Am I trying to sort out whats eating me? Maybe. But there is only so much I am willing to expose to the world at large, and whats eating me is NOT on that list. Trust me, it ain’t just the J.O.B. or “The REAL world” (which ain’t,,)(and thats another post completely, one that has been written about here a time or twenty)
Vent? yeah, maybe a little. Kittehs aren’t the best ears for spiritual issues of the human kind. They just look at you like “just be the cat, if it irritates you , KILL IT.” and Oh, there are days where that simple solution runs strong (and I know I am not alone in that,,,).
So, at what point do I grab the reins, yank hard and tell the horses pulling this damned wagon that I have had enough? This week? Next year? or do I just keep the grumbles under breath and slog on, slowly dying inside? Cuz that is how this is starting to feel. (so I am taking Sarahs advice and getting on the keyboard and typing something anything to try and pry that valve back open.)
I have NO desire to delve into the political shenanigans of the THE FRAUD or World Power Shuffles, (even though that is exactly what is going on, and if things continue at pace, the US is going to be as effective as Rwanda on the world stage. Not that I see the Ameri-CAN people allowing this country to fail that far,,, Too many markers saying that things are about to turn around, and for MUCH better.)
And I am only willing to expose myself so much to the world at large. Call it my Introversion if you will, but its fact that there is only so much me I can let out. And probably why I am 54 and single (and have been for 12 years) and maybe that is part of the problem as well (ya think?) (Hey, did I just let part of the beast out of the bag?) (Yup!). (but by nowhere near all of it, trust me!!! That was just a pinkie finger of the beast,,,)
I guess ya all can see how this post is going to end today. I’m going kayaking again. and I may even take a tent and stay overnight, no phone, no fuzzie purrbox distractions demanding lap/foodies/snugz, no ‘new’ neighbors running a generator in the wee hours of the night (gah, that thing is irritating,,,,). Just me, the trees, water and a kayak,,,,, But mostly me, so I can take my soul out and see what needs patched.
This too shall pass, right?
Yay, Four day weekend!!!!!
Long story, but plans that were made back during the early parts of summer (say three months back) have been hulled below the waterline by Bossman.
IF, I don’t use that lever of mine and tell him to FOADIAF.
He “generously, gave us” Monday the fourth off, (without pay,,,) but to make our hours back up, we get to work that following Friday. Umhmmm,,, Well, I had made plans to be at the camp on Thursday eve, since we have been working Mon-Thurs the last month, and have two full days/three nights with friends, and NOT have to inconvenience the work environment.
NOT SO MUCH NOW.
To say that the last month or so, my frustration with the J.O.B. has started stripping out any benefit I receive in Monetary compensation. I fought tooth and nail with myself the last week, maybe two weeks, to get up and go in.
And the key point is this one.
And when you find out, inadvertently, that said person makes the same rate as you,,,,
As happened Thursday evening, on my way out,,,
Makes me think that I may be taking a Vaca week, without warning, and spending some quality time getting my head in order, and damn the finances for a bit.
Maybe this is the nudge I need to get off my ass and walk away permanently from a VERY Toxic relationship/Job.
Is the timing optimal? Hell no! Is it EVER?
But one thing I am is resilient,
ROAD SIGN, SHIFTING LANES AHEAD.
Sat on the porch yesterday as I was tapping that out, dusk coming down fast, and suddenly Mama-kats’ ears perked up and she was all attention towards Unc’s garden. First glance all I see are the usual 5 rabbits playing and eating my yard/weeds. (I really need to mow that section, but I like watching the bunnies,,,). Well, that wasn’t it, Mama never gives the Buns a moment of attention (with the exception of that one she tried to adopt 2 years back.) OOOHHHH!! Now I see it. Ear flicks from the bean patch; Three Doe wandering through the garden. Unc is on vaca in Floriduh and that section of our little hollar has been VERY quiet the last week, AND, my Cuz moving into the hollar on the other side of me has created a disruption in their usual pathways.
While I like watching them, what I thought was “well, I know when things get tight, where dinner is coming from”. Between Thumper and Bambi, the kids n I are not going to starve, but gonna have to be a stealthy hunter and keep the bangy bangs subdued.
It’s funny, I have a dog for security, but its Mama-kat that always warns me when wildlife is on the move. The first time she did that ear perk thing from the porch was when the Bear was eating up the corn patch, and she went all growly about that one. Voo? notsomuch,,, Even with the breeze blowing bear stink his way, the most noize he made was a snore. Great security eh? LOL. Love the mutt, but other than companionship, he is about the most worthless,,,,,
Today, to get rid of some of my stress from the opening subject, I did my usual therapy: I Went kayaking. Did some exercises I picked up from “Dancing with the Sea” and while I am still shaky on that whole edging thing, I did see improvement. Just have to keep at it. Will say that my confidence in waves is better, and not just because of the exercises, but because of a boat that was designed for that stuff. Blue Jean is one hella boat and I would be even more ecstatic about her if she weighed 30# LESS. She runs right at 70# empty, which means nothing much ON the water, but that transition between transport and the waters edge is beastly. And most of my put-ins are not at boat ramps where I can use a dolly/cart.
I was out in a shallow spot, wedged between two spits, the water is only 3′ deep and its along a route to a wider area that the power boaters love to get to, usually bow up making lots of noise and waves. Well, those waves focus into that little bay and being shallow, the waves even whitecap. I sat out there, about 100′ from the shore, and those waves were hitting me from all directions and I never once felt ‘tippy’. Mostly the boat, but there was that ‘paddle’ thing Paulo talks about in his course, and it DID change the game. One set of waves washed my decks off, from the side, and I never wobbled.
I paddled back to my put in with a shit eating grin on my face.
I have some serious thinking about what I want moving forward, and there is a set of ears I need to borrow, real soon. Some things just don’t translate well in blogging and when you need to bounce ideas off someone else, blogging lacks.
(and a lot of this transition thing with the J.O.B. is why I have been dropping the ball with the world at large. I have to live my life as best I can, and right now, I feel like that has been way more difficult than it should be, and NOT because of the inflation hitting us sideways. No, this is at the spiritual level and I need fix that before I can ‘fix’ the world, if ya know what I mean.)
And the world turns on
I’m actually in a fairly good mood today. Took Blue Jean to Laurel Lake and put a few miles on. Several broad reaches across wide open water: quarter mile and half mile types. Then the sea-doos and yayhoos started running amok, and while I am well used to the waves, what I could never get over is being ran over by one of those fast movers, and from the way they operate, I don’t think they watch FORWARD too well. Saw one fast mover catch air off a wave and the way he landed, I don’t think it was an intentional ‘jump’. No thanks, I’ll get my narrow long self off the water and let y’all play. I had a few hours of goodness out there.
Came home, and took the new to me boat back on the river for small spell. Last night, talking to B, decided to try moving the seat position back a notch (1″) and see if that slows down the turning transition in her. Not that it was out of control, but I had to make a lot of corrective strokes to keep her in line, Moving things back did seem to help ‘some’, but I think the nature of the boat is for that sort and nothing else. A boat I have to grow into,,, That ain’t a bad thing.
And kittehs,,, The boys are off sowing their wild oats. Grizzy finally hit his hormonal levels, and is staying out all night now. Haven’t seen him or Zooms in two days, with the exception of a few minutes in the wee hours last night: Grizz came in around 3 am and greeted me/demanded more food in the bowl. I’m hoping the little rat will keep out of trouble, but he is a Tom, with the gear, and I know better. He’ll get his butt kicked and come home to be tended to for awhile, then when he gets that urge again, back at it. I know that one day, one or both of them won’t return home because they went ‘too far’ and met an end. I could ‘alter’ them, but after the experience with Voodoo and his alteration, I swore I would never subject another animal to that travesty, no matter what, and all the ‘its better for the animal’ arguments, won’t sway me an inch,,, IF God had intended them to be ball-less and hormone neutral, he’d have made them that way: Who am I to think I know better. The only argument that might sway me is the “so many homeless pets”, but when all of my pets have been abandoned by others,,, That argument is bunk as well. My boys have a good home, if they chose to stay here 24/7 and its far enough out that their efforts will be few and far between in success, so even that argument doesn’t hold a lot of water with me.
ON THE HOME FRONT,,,, As if I needed any more incentive to want to move from my location,,,, Who ever said that God doesn’t have a sense of humor. One rather like my Da’s: Morbid and twisted, but kinda funny after the fact. The property next to mine was owned by one cousin for years. He never did a danged thing to it. There is an old abandoned house on it that finally succumbed to gravity a couple years back (after a couple of poplar trees had grown through the roof). 3 acres, mostly returned to a natural state.
Well, Seems Cuz 1 needed cash in a bad way. Cuz 2 just sold a house in a neighboring town and wanted to buy something ‘closer to his roots’. Doesn’t sound too bad so far does it? Problem is, Cuz 2 is a wastrel, and his kids are known thieves, and there have been several instances of him and Ol’lady having rather loud and intense squabbles that usually involve police. (and this area is on the edge of two counties, so jurisdiction gets questioned or shunted off a lot, and State Troopers have to pick up the slack. Time to response is usually measured in HOURS and occasionally in DAYS unless a body is involved.)
For the first time in seven years, I started locking my house and shed. I had to shift some things around in the shed to store the tools I used to keep on my porch for working on kayaks. I’m locking my truck and its tool box up, at home, where I used to not worry about such. (I had to dig through keys to find the door keys, if that says how comfortable I have been leaving my place unlocked. Not anymore,,,)
He moved a fifth-wheel camper in last night, says he is going to build a house there. He is a masonry guy, but knowing some of his history, I see that camper becoming ‘the house’ and a shed or two added in to spread the family around, but a house??? Not so much. At best, I expect him to lay a block foundation and move in a trailer, maybe. Yeah, its family, but being family does not automatically earn respect, it only gains you forgiveness others would not be given. This particular case has, in my opinion, worn that forgiveness paper-thin. Also, my opinion: He and His are the epitome of “White trash”,,, I don’t hold it against Cuz 1, but danggit, my little corner of the world just shifted in a bad way, and I don’t like it.
At least I don’t have to worry about him or his stealing my kayaks. There is no way they could sneak them off this hill without passing 4 places that would see it. It’s the little stuff like tools and computers that I worry about. And the pets. Not sure how the brats will act around animals that aren’t people shy.
Elsewhere is sure looking damned good to me right now,,,, And I don’t even know where that is,,,
But I am still in a better mood than I was 12 hours ago. Water therapy is a wonder,,,, Wave actions do amazing things to lower back pain too.
Mi vida loca
Man, if there was a way to get something completely F!ed up, I found at least one alternate version today. Even managed to cut the cables to my solar panels while I was out shaving the rocks in my Minefield/obstacle course that is loosely called “the yard”.
Easy enough fix, but dang-it!!!, I know I buried those daggum things when I put the panels on a rack. (formerly installed on roof. NOTE: do NOT do that. Bad bad Juju happens to people that do that!!!). and I know it because there was fresh dirt where the mower grabbed them and pulled the remainder out of that trench. That’s part of the problem living on this hill. Nothing stays buried. Rocks grow better than weeds, and the weeds grow better than anything that resembles ‘grass’. Every spring, my liitle rock retaining wall grows a little bigger as I add rocks to it as they pop up in front of and underneath the mower. I replace the blades on the mower at least once a year. Twice last year as I broke both. Amazingly, I didn’t destroy the engine.
In about 20 years of annual mowing, this yard may become civilized. Sure as heck isn’t right now. Maybe I just need a herd of sheep to keep it trimmed,,,,
Sorry for the lack of posting lately, I just needed to take a break from things. I didn’t even take the phone to work with me on Monday. Left it here at the house and reveled in the peace of mind that settled in without the deluge of email notices, and other things.
As was quoted of John Ross, RIP, talking about his sequel to Unintended Consequences: He said that he hadn’t been able to finish the book because the FRAUD kept giving him new material every morning. I know exactly how he felt: I have the same problem coming up in the sequel to Wings for that very same reason. I guess I should have written the whole thing further into the future or just ignored ‘current events’ while writing the original, but now I feel like I am locked into using our ‘history’ as it unfolds, and the FRAUD just keeps piling on more crap. Even when you think things can’t get any stranger, they dump a shovel load of “WTF?” on and turn the valve open just a little further.
Ok, Confession time. I am HIGHLY distracted right now, and it has NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING, to do with world events or any of that. My distraction explains why I am having little “oops” factors popping up on me too. Nopes, I found another deal of the century in kayaky goodness, and I am trying my dangedest to make the connections that make it MINE!!!! Don’t want to go into too many details, like make and model, or what not, but I can tell you it is a legitimate Seakayak, 17′ long, and honest to Dawg fiberglass construction. Need some TLC, but from everything I can see in the pictures i have of it, the TLC is outfitting only. The glass appears ‘factory fresh’, and I can see that the skeg is in working order. So, new deck lines, possibly new hatch covers ( most likely) and I would have a ship-shape seakayak for a tenth of the price of a new one. No, I am not kidding, ONE. TENTH. (not the exact version, but a good example.)
yup, its eating me alive trying to figure out how to get tab A into slot B and make all of this happen. So, apologies to you all for my lack of focus on the bloggy stuff.
Last of the ooff!!! posts(and a detour)
short by long day today(read BORING) at the salt mine. four hours, *sigh*…
Lats are letting me know that we paddled 6+miles Saturday, but that seems to be the worst of it. Good to go otherwise.
Spent a little time surfing the nets today, and while yeah, not much is going on, a shit ton is going on at the same time, and not a whole lot of people seem to be putting the dots together.
Some are though, and when it goes sideways later this year, say around late September, early October, a LOT of people are going to be looking around and asking questions. There are solutions that can be implemented RIGHT NOW, and to work, they would need to be done, well, yesterday would be best, but right now would work too. The biggest thing that could be done right now is for the asshats that are causing shipping issues in Grain and Fertilzers to unshackle the rail distribution. That ain’t gonna happen though: As BCE states, “ I mean WHO ordered this ‘force majeure’ measures? Someone Somewhere knows Something “. Looking at the ‘accidents’, and how they are spaced with increasing regularity, we ain’t seen the end of the funhouse games either. Wait until Smithfield packing starts shuttering plants for the coronaphobia. Chinese owned plants spread out around the country and already (witnessed by mine eyes, Had a gate install at one recently) a very totalitarian lock down. Surprised I didn’t see employees in full on level 4 Bio gear, but it wasn’t all that far from it either.
Its not the actions that worry me, its the timelines. They are stretching this fuck up out over as long as possible and the longer it takes to hit peak, the worse it will be, and the harder to correct. That they can’t win is simple reasoning: Reality ALWAYS wins and their plans are NOT based in reality. But man!!! they can sure leave one hell of a mess for the survivors to clean up.
And I worry about friends. I am set up pretty sweet, in an out of the way place, with quite a ‘buffer area’ between main roads and myself. I’m elevated with a good undeveloped area behind me that isn’t easy to traverse without making a ton of noise. My biggest issue is my ears: they suck. I can’t hear said noises easily, (unless its really low frequencies, like helo blade thumps) and Voodoos ears are purt much ruined these days as well. Kittehs have been pretty good about letting me know when things are moving (when they come racing into the house, skid to a stop and all ears and eyes and whiskers are pointed outside, Sumpin’s up!!!). But my friends are NOT set up as well. I don’t preach, no point in wasting my breath and alienating someone at the same time. That ain’t my style; I try to lead by example, and in this case if example is ignored, so be it. An offer is out for sanctuary (to a very few) if it gets to that point, but there will be no luxuries or amenities to be taken for granted: Rationing is a must, and the more mouths, the slimmer the rations. AND NO DEAD WEIGHT. You don’t work, you don’t eat.(and if it gets real bad, dead weight becomes fertilizer or dog food. Voo won’t mind long pig,,,)
Harsh? Harsh times require harsh methods, and hardened hearts. Thats LIFE. I have stated here many a time “Best get it in your head NOW, how you would respond to hard choices.” and there is plenty of Survival Pron out there in fiction to get your head around what could be ‘worst case scenario’. (example is what happens when one of your littles gets wounded in a fatal way. Not a quick fatal either: more like getting their liver or kidneys shot up, and there is zero chance of getting to a Trauma Unit. Slow and painful. How are you going to deal with that, and NO, folding up in the fetal position is NOT an option.)
deep breath. relax. Think water,,,,
I have thought about these things. Hell, I am always running worst case through my head every day, even on the day to day. That I haven’t gone on a shooting spree doesn’t tell you I am not dangerous, it tells you that I keep the beast on a very short leash, made from the anchor chain of the Tarawa. And I look for people who aren’t ‘safe’. B is one such: I have seen it, He WILL run to the sound of gunfire if needed. He won’t balk when the shit is getting heavy, and he will stress and strain so long as ANY of his PEOPLE are in even a limited amount of danger. My brudderbyanuddermudder is good people and I will happily bring him in if need arises. He and his are where my worries orbit these days. Their location is not good, IMO, but it is what it is and all of my worries may be for naught.
I need to break off from this line of thought or I won’t get any sleep tonight. Here’s sumpin funny for y’all.
Follow up on Oofff!!!
Hate to say it but the medal was kind of a “Gimme”; There were only two of us in that class. So, last place, woohooo… With that up front, it was competitive. I never lost sight of the other paddler, but he was running a home built Night Heron Design which Nick Schade came up with to improve on the Greenland Inuit designs. Hull speed is about 3/4 mph faster than mine and it showed. I never lost sight of him, but he continually pulled ahead of me and by the end of the race, had near a half mile lead on me. Neither of us EVER stopped paddling (other than to grab some water ’cause that wind was drying everyone out. Dry enough that you couldn’t spit!) and he was using a Wing Paddle where I was using my Greenland. There is a performance difference, but I am still impressed that a GP can still compete with a Wing: maybe not beat it, but it will give it a run for its money. Considering the GP was designed by primitive peoples using anthropomorphic measurements, and the Wings are computer designed high tech paddles, I think that says more about “human ingenuity” than mere words here can express.
And there were participation awards as well, but In this case I ain’t giving the promoters any shit about it. Just showing up at the finish line was a challenge and a half!!! There was a kickin’ wind coming out of the west, straight into our faces for the return trip and getting through that was no fun. Cooling, as the splash from the paddles kept the quickly drying sweat washed off the face, but damn!!! what a battle heading up-wind.
Selkie did frigging PERFECT. No splash off the bow!!! She just sliced right in and didn’t matter if it was glass flat or chop or wave sets. Chop did nothing against performance while wave sets played with her stern a bit, and she did surf a wave face or three. Not much, but enough to give the old dude at the paddle a momentary respite, and a small ‘turbo boost’.
What needs changed though? 6.5 miles will tell you something about your design that “isn’t quite right”. In my case, its the bulkhead footrest I came up with. It worked, worked well, but the angle is ALL OFF. My heels went numb fairly early, and I started shifting around trying to make them comfortable and that put the strain on other parts and by the end of the race, I felt like I had a hole bored into my left asscheek. Nothing wrong with my seat pad, it was all about the footrest and that is easy enough to fix.
Even though I felt stiff and unstable for the first mile, that wasn’t ‘a boat issue’: that was a “I’m in need of seat time” issue, and by the end of the first mile, my hips had loosened up and my mind put into ‘sea-legs’ mode and I was fine. Wave-sets off the rear quarter didn’t goose me after that first mile like they did when I started out, and I was paddling smoother with each hundred yards traveled; not the epileptic seizure splash and churn that I started with. I really needed to get A LOT more seat time in before this race, but is what it is, and now I have my mind conditioned for the rest of the paddle season.
B, the indomitable, stubborn persistent bullish paddler he is, came across the line last of the entire group. He had done the long distance run so had to do two laps to my one, and that wind was kickin’ EVERYONES ass. Even the surfski’s were looking rather dogged out when they crossed the line at the last. B was in a Perception Vizcaya (yeah, the blue one I used to own.) and while its a great little recreational boat, B (and meself vicariously) found it ‘It ain’t no race boat’. Great hull design for shallow waters where you want to ride over debris and what not, but seeing the double wake pattern along its gunwales tells me it creates its own drag.* You are fighting the boat to move forward at anything over ‘mild cruise’ (3-4mph). if you go for higher, you have to double your efforts to hold it and that wears you down. B did that for 13 miles of open water, 6.5 of which was in a head wind of at least 8mph with gusting up to 25.
And this was the first big paddle of the season. Wooofffff!!!!
T, bullheaded and stubborn herself, chose to do the same lap as I did, but she did it in her Duck; An inflatable whitewater ‘kayak’. She fought probably twice as hard as B and I did because she was still set up for whitewater, not flat water and the bow of her Duck kept trying to fly off the water when she was headed into the wind. I watched her crossing the bay towards the finish line and a halfway serious gust would lift the front and turn her boat ninety degrees to her heading, and she would have to fight to correct it. She paddled half the race from the kneeling position to keep her weight forward and stop that, but that’s a very hard position to paddle in if you don’t have the ‘saddle’ for it. She did finish, and I could hear the exhaustion in her voice while talking to her afterwards.
That fight she had was why I am saying not giving the promoter shit for the participation awards. Just crossing the finish line yesterday was a challenge and those that did, deserve something ‘just for showing up to the fight’.
Damned good day out, and I mentioned to B that I hadn’t felt this relaxed since around August of last year. I need to get out to the Church of the Two Bladed Paddle a whole lot more often. The world seems brighter today for it.
* In comparison, in Selkie, I didn’t see the first wake wave until well near my cockpit, while moving at nearly 5mph. And it was a lot smaller than the wave the Viz was making: it never rose to the gunwales like what I saw on the Viz. No way to change the design of his boat, but I am certain he will keep in mind what its capable of, and more importantly what it is NOT capable of, in the future.
sumpin to lead into a positive weekend
What if, the adage of “If its from Government, its all bullshit” is more true than you understand and far BIGGER than you ever suspected?
I refer you to the post by the indomitable Sarah Hoyt so you have something to work with. It’s on the long side for some of my readers, but I highly encourage you to do so. PLEASE RTWT.
What if, and I have no way to verify, no one does, but logic and historical precedents tell me its highly likely, that UN figures are complete bunk and Sarah’s estimate of Less than Half stated figures of world population are correct, then literally every talking point on Gorbalworming/Peak Oil/GreenEnergy will save the planet/we need to reduce the population (why if its already half of what they claim?) etc etc etc,,, Every! Single! Point! they try to use to keep things in line is bullshit if just that number is off by half. And I have every reason to think Sarah is center target from 10000 yards on this one. I have seen US examples of her examples from Portugal, where people would ‘borrow’ children for census purposes to get a little more on the dole: I have seen it our own ghettos here, and I would bet there are more than a few Social Service workers that ‘turn a blind eye’ on it, yet know full well what the game is. And of course there is the padding of the numbers by representatives to make sure they can rightfully claim proper share of the spoils of FedGov. Most of that crap is based on census numbers. Heck, I recall in 2010 me having a fight with a census taker over how many times they were going to count my household. I saw 7 census workers in less than two weeks and none the same and they counted the people in our apartment each time. What if the actual numbers of people in the US is closer to half the 330 million they claim. Maybe not 1/7th as would be indicated by how many times they counted heads in my ‘hood that year, but half could be expected from such heavy handed applications of number counting.(half would be 165 million. 1/7th would be roughly 47 million. Claimed Census numbers when I was a pre-teen were 226 million. Dunno, but it seems to me that even with ‘urban sprawl’ there hasn’t been that much growth. Less people living in inner cities these days as there were when I was a kid. That exodus from the cities was evident by the Mall, suburbs, and a growing network of highways and loops to make urban areas more accessible for those that required commute to the inner city where the offices were still located. )
One quote hit home in an almost personal way, though it was written broad brush.
In other fields, I have friends who overshadowed by the big-group-of-boomers, were treated as “the young kid” well into their fifties, and now suddenly find themselves being called “the old man/woman” and finding they are too old to be affordable.
I have been ‘The Kid’ at so many jobs, and now, suddenly, I am the “greybeard”. I knew I was on my way out in the Audio field when I was called ‘Granpa’ on a Gospel tour. It wasn’t a one time thing either, I carried that title the whole tour. (and I wasn’t a grandpa YET, that came a few years later after I had moved on to I.T. at the hospital.)
And that last sentence ‘and finding they are too old to be affordable’,,, I fear having to find a new place of employment because of my age. I know most managers would see my DOB and think, ‘too old, gonna cost us a fortune in medical insurance coverage’ or sumsuch. OR, Too much experience for this rate of pay,,, (and I have tons of experience in many different fields, and refuse to list half of them, for that very reason.) I found out early forties that people don’t believe I have done a third of the things I have, until I start pulling out the medals, certificates, pictures with entertainment peeps, and backstage passes, or pictures of my builds, like my house and kayaks.
But I digress,,,
World population as I am writing this is Guesstimated at close to 8 billon people. That number is up 2 billion since 1998. This link will open up a wormhole for those so inclined. (I know, wikipedia, *eyeroll* ).
I think their model is WAY off, personally. and the world population sure looks suspiciously like a certain ‘hockey stick’ graph that has gained a bad reputation the last decade or two.
And I drive backroads around SE KY a lot. I don’t see a lot of Urban Sprawl going on in most cases, but I do see a buttload of Abandoned homes, burned out shells, and vacant foundations that never were rebuilt. I see empty barn/warehouse/business buildings that haven’t seen a key in the lock in decades, as indicated by the Kudzu growing over the building. If we were expanding at such a rate, don’t you think we would have more need of those residences and businesses to keep things up?
I know when I was at the Hospital in the IT department, we had a HUGE ObGyn department. I think there were over a hundred cribs in it. I know there were 40 in NICU. I never, NEVER saw more than a handful of cribs with occupants. And NICU virtually matched the regular ward, because we were on the edge of Ghetto/Whitetrash areas and there were always Preemies and babies born addicted to some substance. This in a city with a supposed population near 2 million. Granted, this was ONE hospital in an area loaded with hospitals (I recall I could look out our office windows and see three others, and that was in ONE direction. Still, a hospital that was seeing less than 5% occupancy of its ObGyn units, while seeing near full occupancy in its Cancer wards and Heart wards,,, Seems to me we are better at keeping people alive than making new ones,,,,
And that goes right back to what Sarah is talking about. Our current FRAUD is part of that.
And if those numbers are as skewed as Sarah, and now I, suspect,,, Makes ya wonder just how F!up the numbers are when you see our Deficit spending, National Debt and GDP. Something is off, WAY OFF.
Have a good weekend all. I have a race that needs to be attended to, and a kayak that gets her cherry popped in it. I’ll have some more up as I decompress while off doing frivolous things, drinking beer and conversing with NOT KATS, (and I have a short story I am plugging in and editing right now about a KAT conversation,,,, Tease!!!!!)(seriously, there will be a shorty on that.)
Post easter thinks
Looking around the spheres today, I see a growing line of thinking that revolves around financial collapse. Not wanting to fall into the vacuum of a think tank, but knowing that we have been swirling that drain for over a decade (and it started BEFORE 2008, the QE to infinity just put the spurs into the old nag,,) I started thinking about “whats next?”.
Well, I have no solid answer and I am in no position to say that ‘this’ is definitely gonna happen, so take all of my thinking here as mere speculation, with several drams of salt to season the after taste.
I keep hearing mention of “digital Currency” as the next phase of the collapse, and believe me, if the Fed decides to do away with paper, things are going to go froggy faster than you can blink. But why now, why would it be so bad, since we are seeing digital currencies already in place. First off, those digital currencies are what we call block chain currencies. The Security in them is bottom up, not top down. YOU control the security of your currency, NOT some Banker type in a far off office with no reason to be fair or balanced. IF the FED were to create this currency for the masses, it would mean complete control of the monies you use to get through your days. It would mean that government could control EVERYTHING despite things like the 2A. If they decided that they didn’t want anyone to buy ammunition, they would just suspend all sales for such with some arbitrary move and no one could buy ammunition, period. No need to pass some law, or amend a Constitution. That level of control is exactly what they want. If you have counter political views, they won’t need to do more than freeze your accounts for 90 days. If you don’t fall in line by then, they have other means to mess with you: means that are more kinetic in nature, but most people would fold like a cheap suit long before that were needed on their part.
Can they do this? Yes, and no. Yes, they could create some alternative digital currency to replace the paper forms, and most people would jump on board since they are so involved in the system already, they would have no choice. NO: because there are already alternative systems in place outside of their influence. Grey markets, Black Markets, etc. And there are TONS of paper bills in circulation that many people would continue to use in lieu of that “card swipe” for the stuff that would remain out of the conventional market. Think Drug Cartels, but in all other aspects of your living. Farmers markets would be one such, and they would become very mobile, and go grey quickly. Service industry, like what I do in my day to day, would become underground industry ‘for cash or barter’ only. The outside systems would expand rapidly, and may even become dangerous (like the drug cartels, and for much the same reason.) but they would not wither away and die like the PTwB dream they would if they remove the paper.
Coinage would become ‘normal’ again, especially those with honest to God gold and silver coins: even the Junk silver coins of pre-1965.
I know, it sounds optimistic in some ways, but what I am seeing is not some “Great Reset , though I think there will be a Reset of some sort. Just not the one the PTwB intend. What I see is Big Gov failing on levels never before seen without major war. The legitimacy of all the “Democratic” nations has faltered and is showing just how farcical they are. We aren’t seeing forced removal of the culprits at this time, but even in Revolutionary France, that took time to build up. When things get to that stage, the bloodshed will be epic. My only worry at this stage is that the REAL puppetmasters will get away scot free, since they are not in the lime-light and most people don’t understand that our ‘figure-heads’ are just that, not the real powers at the controls. (though I think Oblammy-o-boy tipped his hat recently.). Time will tell, obviously, and until then, things are going to continue to get worse, harder, and scarcer. Like this meme.
What it costs us to get through till then, may seem outrageously high, but in actual values, nothing will change except what we are using to ‘buy’ with. Like looking at housing right now. Da is talking about moving, and I have been doing the leg work of finding ‘new digs’. Houses that a year ago were 150K, are now over a quarter mil. Nothing has changed in the value of that place, its just what you are buying it with is worth LESS, and everyone knows it. My truck still gets 19 miles to the gallon(hwy), so the value of a gallon of gas is the same, its just what I use to buy it is worth less, so I need more of them. And this is all by ‘the PLAN”, the plan with too many moving parts, designed in a vacuum by idjits with no real world experience or understanding of people. Human Nature is not going to change just because these idjits think they can manipulate currencies and resources. Human nature is not going to change that quickly, nor at their ‘direction’. Said “PLAN” can’t work because there are people like me out here still, and I may be an odd, but I am no where near a minority.
SO, While it looks like SHIT is getting really-realz; LIFE goes on, and people carry on, and even when things look bleak, “THIS TO SHALL PASS”. Whats on the other side of it is going to depend on how much we stick to OUR morals, and not those that the creators of ‘The PLAN’ want us to have.
prepare for the worst, work towards better, and NEVER EVER give up your guns.
I don’t like being the cynic, I don’t like going through my days always seeing the negative. I have to make effort to see positives and BOTH wear me out. One because it burns energy to keep moving, the other because it takes energy to wade through the mess of the world to find the diamonds.
Maybe thats why I like my four-feets so much. They don’t have a malicious bone in their bodies, and everything is fine in their world so long as Dad is around and the food bowls are full. I can just relax around them because they don’t give a rats ass about the world at large. And they make me laugh with their innocence: very few people other than children have the same effect.
I try to emulate the approach to life of my fuzzies, but the world refuses to go’way. (I’d have to find a retreat REALLY far out to do that)
There IS good in the world, and every-time I find it, it has one aspect that reinforces my view on things: NO GOVERNMENT. People are basically good at heart, and it shows in how we interact on a personal basis. Not all mind you, but MOST. There are the evil shits of the world at the local personal level, but they can be avoided or dealt with, again at the local personal level, and they have little effect over the bigger picture. Unlike Xi-den, and other world leaders pretend. Those shitstains make choices that affect millions of innocents directly, and yet are never held accountable. Seemingly: Their time will come, and NO ONE GETS OUT ALIVE. Whatever ‘maker’ you believe in, there will be a reckoning for them, and I hope such entities will find that the penance is far worse than the crime. Maybe they will return as a lab-rat in one of Phizers lab,,,, or as a beagle pup with its head locked in a box and its vocal cords paralyzed (looking at you Faucocini!!!).
Again the Taxicab Confessions from 2012 is making it rounds again, and is still as relevant now as it was then(HT to Francis for linking this again) That the troubles of the country could be resolved by ‘noon tomorrow, just by dragging 100 people to street and putting a bullet to the back of the head’,,,, I think the number is closer to 535, but we all know that is just the visible part of the problem. It may put the “Skeered” into those NOT visible, but I would be surprised if that invisible sector doesn’t have back up plans in place for ‘that day’.
Yeah, I’m a Cynic. I would cheer the event, but I would be looking for the snap-back to happen at the same time.
The worst part of being the Cynic: When I have ‘had enough’ and wish it would all just burn down. Happens often enough that I know how to fight it back, but there are days where that is a struggle unto itself. Those are the days where I pull out certain books and delve into knowledge reinforcement: I know there will come a day where the rebuild begins and people like me are going to have to do what we can with what we have and the ‘what we have’ may be a whole lot of nuthin’. The advantage is that we are not starting from ground zero, IE, in a cave with a stick and rock and no knowledge. We still stand on the shoulders of Giants and their accumulated knowledge is all around us. One of those books is “build your own Metal working shop from scrap’ by the late Dave Gingery, RIP. Now, I know many a machinist that see the Gingery builds and give them the side-eye, but when you are starting from nuthin, I can’t see where the Problem is. You can use the first build to build better(including getting rid of that RH threaded lead screw for a proper LH thread one) and each evolution resolves to higher accuracy. You could build those ten thousandth accurate machines from the one you built from scrap, you just have to be meticulous in your efforts and advance your skills to harder materials(IE Cast Iron). And it all starts with a home-made foundry using materials that are ubiquitous in the world. Aluminum scrap, Sand, Clay and Charcoal. (and yes, his stuff is clonky, and over-engineered, but some of that has to do with the strength of Aluminum versus Cast-Iron. ). (another source for stuff that can be done in the ‘backyard’ is ClickSpring on UToob. Do a search for that name and the AntiKythera device and you will find a rabbithole that will swallow you up for DAYS!!! link is to the first in the series.)
Not that we would ‘Need’ to go that route; there are many a home machine shop scattered about the country, and many a ‘hobby machinist’ that could/will fill (some of) the gaps of the JIT system as needed when such time comes. Even the 3D printers will be useful so long as they can keep in feedstock. (and I have been looking into a 3D printer for making my patterns for casting. Been using wood, bondo and wax, but they tend to be ‘clonky’, not the materials fault, but the pattern makers fault.). and there are benchtop CNC machines that make detailed milling of soft materials fast and plentiful. There is a growing list of ‘Makers’ out there that will fill the gaps when things get downright stupid in the global supply market. (there is an app where you can order custom made parts, in bulk, for your idea from such ‘makers’, though I don’t recall what that app is currently. I need to research that again and get digging.)
My “Cynic” takes a break when I pick up the tools and books; Thats when the Rational Optimist in me breaks its chains and surges to the forefront, knocking the Cynic on its heels. I have so many ideas in my head that the RA wants to create, yet the need to eat takes precedence. Maybe I could sell my products, but there is ZERO market here local for such as Kayaks, Greenland paddles, or homebuilt tools that you can buy at Lowes or Harbor Freight, cheaper than I can buy the materials to make them out of. So, I work for others for now, doing what I do, including making tools and jigs to make my job easier, faster, more accurate. At least in writing, my works are selling (some, but nowhere near enough to count on.) and I keep plugging away here on the blog; venting, waiting, watching,,,
And that watching and waiting,,, Can’t trust much of anything these days. So many sources are compromised, and yet so many still trust the Enemedia to do the right thing, which they have proven time and again since 2008, they won’t do: TELL THE TRUTH. BCE and others have shown that the whole missile on a train station in the Uke is most likely a false flag done by Krainefeld to genny up support from the ‘free world’. (note: I say ‘most likely’. not a claim to fact, but the evidence is pretty damning.) Seriously, NOTHING about the current distraction of the week/month rings true; doesn’t matter what side you look at. And the fact that of all the wars in the last 40 years, THIS ONE, is the most obscure and obfuscated one we have ever seen, even with the plethora of smartphones and cellular/internet services. Seems to me that there are underground actors at work suppressing and massaging the messages, long before the Enemedia get their grubby tentacles on it.
And it is all to hide the fact that the VaxxnottaVaxx is literally killing folks, and not just a few, but in gobstopper numbers. The Reports for “All causes” as listed by the insurance agencies is going off the charts, and that is causing many agents to peak blood-pressure levels. (and probably creating more deaths from the BP spikes when they see the P&Ls for the last year.).
and to hide the shenanigans of the FRAUD from the eyes of the sheep. Can’t have the Gaffs and what not hitting the plebes full in the face: Pitchforks and torch sales might go up. As well as tar, feather pillows and fence rails. They definitely do not want to see a surge in Hemp Rope sales,,,
But people are becoming ‘Woke”, and not in the sense the Lefties have claimed as their own. Oh no, quite the opposite in fact. Disney is in for a make-over if they keep up their Grooming standards, and when the dam breaks, Pedo’s around the country are going to be scrambling for outbound flights in record numbers. Or dying,,,
Thanks to Irish for posting this. Perfect addition to this post
Thinkin’, prolly won’t be popular
But then, Popularity is not my forte. Never was popular in school, and never cared even then.
Sitting here thinking about some of my reads. And yeah, a lot of it is covering old territory around here, but sometimes a different spin on the same thing can give it a different perspective that can enlighten.
I’m feeling more than a little burnt out on the way of the world currently, and that little post along with updated napkin math got me to thinking; ‘whats worth saving?’. I mean, currently, medical care is so off the wall in pricing, that unless you are covered under serious insurances, you are going to go bankrupt if you have something major happen to you. It wasn’t all that great when i was young and married, and it has steadily grown worse over time, with the last 14 years seeing escalation of it. And then you see that Doctors are now considered middle class in income yet their education expenses tripled or more over the same decade plus. One of the incentives they used to pursue has been obliterated.
I shouldn’t have to explain it to my regular readers, but the above situation started long ago with Medicare that morphed into medicare/medicaid and became the diabolical marriage of BigPharma/Corporate Medicine/Government. When they found they could manipulate the costs and raise profits (capitalism, but with evil intent) and also found out that having only one source they needed to bribe to push through ‘chemical advancement’,,,, The encroachment of higher prices was faster than the subjective inflation. (example from personal experience: tobradex(sp?). It’s an eye ointment that also has a low level steroid in it. Here in the US, a 1/20 oz tube runs over $300. Same stuff in Mexico; $5 and is available without prescription. I needed it when I caught a piece of spat on my eyelid and said eye swelled up like a rotten plum. The stuff worked great but was more than double the price of gold by weight at the time.). Not much here that I feel is worth saving EXCEPT the people that actually do the medico stuff. Get rid of all the Regs that muck up the system and let the Docs and Nurses do what they love and are good at. Let Free Market enterprise determine success/failure again. Is the Doc is a butcher or a hack? Yeah, some are going to die, but his career won’t last long enough to make it a huge problem. And let Civil law be the arena to handle malpractice, without a corporate umbrella to shield the incompetent
Ah, but that brings forth another problem that I will touch on before I wrap this piece up,,,
And the Education,,, That one is taking hits left and right since Coronaphobia and it’s ongoing demise. People are paying far more for education these days, either outright in tuitions, or vicariously in taxes, but the end products have become liabilities across the board. When we spend more, per capita, for education than any other country in the world and yet we are ranked quite low on the lists of ‘developed countries’ (thirteenth of some such if’n I recall correctly,,,). Our STEM programs are taking the hits as well because the basics are having the bar lowered in “Equity” to make those not capable feel better about themselves. (positive feedback loop, NEVER a good thing.). Add in the scenario being played out with the ‘don’t say gay’ bill in Florida(that doesn’t even mention the word Gay) and you see what our education system has evolved into and it has nothing to do with the THREE R’S. (and most of my readers know that I am always ready to jump on the soapbox railing about how fucked our edjumikation (indoctrination) system has become. Of course seeing the infiltration of Marxist and Gramsci ideologies permeating our institutions, both higher and lower, it was just a matter of time before the basics would be dropped off altogether, wasn’t it? Nope, The current trends in Education need scrapped and we need to return to locally controlled, locally funded education, with PARENTAL controls. Another of those points that needs addressed before the big changes can take place IMO; IE parents that need to ACT like parents, not just funding for their genetic spawn for others to raise.
and I don’t even want to go(but will) into the 367versions of gender being pushed around like tokens of privilege. Still very much the “Male/Female/Hermaphrodite and THATS IT for gender” philosphy. Gay, Necro, pedo, Trans, whatever those things are, ARE NOT gender; those are sexual fetishes and ARE A CHOICE, or a mental illness that needs addressed. As I was saying to Sis just a day or so ago “What someone does behind closed doors AS LONG AS BOTH PARTIES ARE CONSENTING ADULTS, means nothing to me. You can even tell me, and I might even be sympathetic to you, but DO NOT TRY TO FORCE ME TO ACCEPT YOUR SHIT!!!!” and most definitely do not use ROL to make it so. Seems to me that most states have Sodomy laws on the books, and the only time I have heard of them being ‘enforced’ was in cases of underage victims/Rapes. Even ROL recognizes “Consent ” these days, in those cases where people wanna pack fudge,,, And I haven’t heard of any cases where some homosexual was jailed, or executed for their fetish HERE IN THE US, but I sure have heard of that happening in the ME. Y’all may wanna tone down a bit before you piss off enough “normies” that they decide the Muzzies have the right of it. (and I have to laugh at the silence of the Feminazi’s in the case of Lia whatshisname winning the womens swimming competition. Talk about wearing the pie in the face,,,,). That whole gender thing is NOT part of the saving I see needed.
but the napkin math. The numbers presented, and while I didn’t verify the math involved, are reminiscent of times gone by. People today can’t fathom making $.13/hour or such. They don’t see the ‘value’ that has been erased since those days when people would consider that ‘pretty decent’. They don’t understand that at that time, a flipping quarter would buy a GOOD meal at a restaurant, including the drink. A pint of beer off the tap at a bar may have cost a nickle then. Even in recent times in my world, I worked for a man that paid me a dollar an hour. Payable in Silver coins of face value. At that time, I was ‘making’ anywhere from $14/hour to $21/hour depending on the rate of the day. That rate had nothing to do with how much work I put forth either, I busted my chops for that buck an hour because it was better than anything else being offered around my area then. (oh, and how the Infernal Rectum Stuffers HATEZ coinage for wages. They can’t keep tabs on that sort of pay.). I don’t always agree with Aesop, but his point is one I have been trying to make for years, and while some people get it, most others only see the numbers, not the real values. Even at current flooding of currency in the markets, going back onto a gold standard, or some equivalent, would be shocking, but the end result would be STABILITY. The only other option is tacking on extra zeroes, and we all saw how that worked for Zimbabwe. The Federal Reserve is NOT one of those things we need to save.
And then you have the Media. Media has always been biased. At one time, there were as many newspapers in NY as there were political groups. Each had a bias towards reporting what they stood for. And you could read several to get a fair shake on what the truth was. NOW, well, bought and paid for is what our media is. That i have to read overseas media to filter through the crap on these shores is the very thing Orwell warned us about when writing about the MINITRU. And while I don’t believe Orwell would be shocked by the events of the day, he would be quite dismayed that his warnings were so blithely ignored.(or was it that some took it as an instruction manual instead????). What to do about the media??? Can’t buy them out unless you are at the level of those that currently own them: Only thing I can see is to create anew in other venues and hope to grow an audience (Blogging?, SocMed? gotta stick to your guns, right? Here I am.) Nopes, dont wanna toss the Enemedia any life preservers.
and that is really what is needed. Shadow worlds that operate alongside the current fucking mess so that when said mess finally collapses under its own weight of regulation and obfuscation, there is already a structure ready to take its place. (And I could put up several links here for suggestions but to be honest, there are just to danged many ti list without making this post a cluttered mess.) It sounds like a pipe-dream, but there is NO OTHER WAY, or as one said “replace the tyranny a thousand miles away, with a thousand tyrants one mile away.” And there will be the creatures that created the mess we are in now, trying to fill niches in the new system. That will be the biggest threat to its survival. We saw it with the Tea-parties, we saw internal squabbles tear apart the PatComs, and we squabble still about details. All I can say is; Break down your local area into what MORALLY will withstand the tides coming and BUILD from that moral foundation. If it be using the members of a church to build that foundational group, then DO THAT,,, Again, read “Dies the Fire” to get an idea of what building group will look like if we DON’T get that shadow world built.
But I think we can all agree, that what we have is NOT going to last much longer. And a part of me thinks if some of the speculation about a third term of Oblammy-o-boy, wiggling his way in through a loophole,,,, Well, if that happens, I think the kick off won’t be too far along the road. Or the Implosion as the rest of the world fully realizes that what was is no longer and those greenbacks they have been using are toilet-paper (and many aren’t all that far from it now,,,) There may not be a new reserve in BRICS, but I wouldnt be at all surprised to see a mass exodus from the USDollar into some other basket currency.
Thats how I am feeling right now. Adrift in space, no destination, just drifting along, going with the flows and hoping for,,,
I can’t even put my finger on WHAT, just something. One of the things I have heard several times over the last 96 hours, in person, and in electronic words “I’m just waiting for someone to do something!”. IE, someone to step of the porch, or some atrocity to kick off ‘the party’,,,, Something.
I see all of the attacks on a world society, and there is ‘some plan’ in place to make the world in the image of whatever group holds the reins this week, but there is ZERO cognizant reason behind everything other than ‘destroy that which we despise’.
My.question becomes “How can you despise the very system that ALLOWS you to exist and grow?” It’s almost like someone hating their very parents for raising them well. I can understand some abuse victim hating their abusive parents (which amazingly is a rarity, they may not love them, but they tend to dismiss the abuse to ‘thats just how they are’ and insulate themselves from it, psychologically and spiritually.) but to hate that which frees you from such things as subsistence living, and allows you room to be the biggest piece of cockroach turd known to humanity and STILL be successful????
One part of what I am seeing is a positive. Its really only a symptom of things, but it shows that we may have good things forthcoming sooner than “you will own nothing and be happy”.
Georgia passes Constitutional Carry and Kemp promises to sign it.
Thats what, Twenty 25 now? A full half of the States have used the Tenth to uphold what shouldn’t have ever been in question. (and I don’t give a hot damn about carry laws, If I feel I need to carry, I do, open or not. It is MUCH nicer to be able to leave it openly on my hip than tucked in a waistband,,,,). As Heinlein said “An Armed Society is a POLITE society”. I notice that those states that have done the ConCarry move, seem to have lower crime rates over those that are still Soviet level of Blue.
My hope currently rests on the turmoil we are witness to in the world economic scene as well as the SuperPower Government Empires Implosion (of which the economy things are a symptom.). I could even see China getting fractured when the implosion hits maximum speed. I would have no problems with the US breaking up into the individual states they already claim, with NO Cementing FEDGOV. It may be chaotic at first, but there IS a precedent for that situation already in place, and that precedent is a fairly recent invention in human history. Well, not really, but it faded for many centuries after Rome fell. But Fluid borders and changing states is far more common over the span of history than the rock solid borders and superpower empires we have been witness to the 100+.
Feudalism? Maybe, but there is something that will resist it. WE KNOW DIFFERENT NOW. We know why, and how to keep cities clean and healthy, not second guessing things or using ‘magic’ to cure our ills. I think if the infrastructure of the net can survive the implosion, the recovery from it will be quite short.
Sorry, I’m feeling scattered as I write this, and I am going to drop it in the inbox as is, and hope it makes some sense to y’all. I’ll work on something later when I can focus.