Had one of those days, where you’re headed into work, and the closer you get to there, the slower you’re moving? Yeah, one of THOSE days. That was this morning. I was half way to work, and realized I was driving 45 in a 55. This morning, my subconscious told me quite clearly that it didnt want to go back there anymore, that it was tired of resolving the conflicts of personality that were becoming a daily occurrence. I learned many years back to pay attention to these messages from the hind brain. It is not capable of intentional lying, unlike the other aspects of Id and Ego. (Yes, I know its Fruedian malarkey but if it helps explain in words what my meanings are, it works. ) some call it gut instinct, and that works too. I am just glad that I am in a position where steady income is not as important as peace of mind. I like steady, I like that cushion, but I can and have managed months with less monthly than the average Joe makes in a week. My biggest downfall is the evil tobacco, I’m a smoker (still😶) and that can be expensive. I manage to knock the costs of it down by ‘rollin my own’ , yet there are still costs and not just the hidden long term ones.
Ah well, I know one day I will quit the habit, and it might even happen by my own willpower and not the inevitable stamp of time.
But I digress.
Gut instinct, payin’ attention to your inner thoughts, yeah, thats the subject. What separates us from the four feets? Rational thinking, right? Rational thought is what makes us different. The problem with rational thought is it can be bent, or twisted by the thinker, or even outside influences, even other people. One can even rationalize themselves into self-destruction. (Ever seen an animal commit suicide?)
Our brain(medium sized mushy computer and storage system) with our senses (inputs) will pick up far more than the conscious mind actually uses in day to day, and this has been proven a time or two. The hind brain is the cpu that sorts, stores, and, eventually processes what isn’t essential. I like to think of the conscious mind as the display, showing the surface, while the hind brain is down there underneath it all churning away at incredible amounts of data.
My first signal this morning was cramped shoulders. Shoulda listened. The second was the rumbling guts, like I had a bad breakfast or two too many cups of coffee. Third message got through to me. I turned around and headed to another place, where I have had offers for work before. By the time I had left, my shoulders were ok and my stomach was happy again.(maybe why they say ‘gut instinct’ huh?)
So, other then collecting the last of my pay from the other place, I had nothing there, and zero loyalty thanks to those conflicts mentioned earlier. And I thank the universe for guiding my choices of the last few years, to get me in a position where ‘walking away’ is not the huge debate, and potential game killer it used to be. I truly wish the whole world could have it that way. We would be much happier.