Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it – no matter if I have said it! – except it agree with your own reason and your own common sense.” – Siddhartha Gautama, a.k.a. the Buddha

random misfires

Not happy

Sorry for the lack of posting, been busy, its cold, and days are short, so I squeeze in what I can while I can.  Staying up on the latest outrage of the FRAUD is at the low end of that list (but I do keep a weather ear out for sudden shifts in tyranny to make sure I am not caught broadside)

Trying something a little different with the kayak.  Its not new; others have done it and reported good results, but I am not happy with what I am seeing.   Ok, gotta bring y’all up to speed here.  In both Serena and Duh!kee, I used a two part polyurethane system from Spirit-line.   Good results, but it can be finicky about repairs and re-finish.   Most people just ‘deal’ until such time as its time to re-skin.   Well, this time around I chose to go with regular spar varnish and pigment it like I do the two-part (very successfully at that).   


It soaks into the fabric very well, maybe better than the two part stuff does (less solids, more carrier solvents).  and it takes pigment pretty well too: nothing separating out when it gets on the fabric.   BUT,,   That finish is totally lacking any luster or appeal.   Its a smooth satin and I had to double check to make sure I hadn’t picked up a satin varnish ( ( didn’t, its high gloss).    It looks ‘Okay’, but it certainly lacks the ‘POP!” that the two part gave to Serena.   


And I am to far along and committed to a system to make the change to the other.   Heck, once that first line of coating went on, I was committed with no recourse for correction.   
But I will not be using it again.   

And I already told myself “Self, you shoulda tried it on a peice of scrap FIRST”.   Self responded that at the price I am paying for spar varnish, I was committed to the system and a test strip would have done little to my resolve.  Both selves are right.   I would have found a use for the spar varnish elsewhere, but at $18/qt and I bought a gallon, I was determined to use the crap on this boat.    Should’ve stuck to ‘tried and true’.   Live and learn, and I did learn and won’t be repeating this little screw-up.

Honestly, it looks like I painted the hull with a satin house paint, not varnish.   Blech!!!  

On other fronts, I have a 2 gallon pot of chicken parts stewing on the woodstove, and will be adding my dumplings in tomorrow after I skim out all the bones and other inedible parts.  That will keep me fat and happy for a week.   And the Kittehs are digging on the ‘other parts’ that they were given.   Grizz is especially fond of the livers and did something out of character for him: He growled at Mamakat when she went sniffing at his share.

It’s winter, chicken n dumplin’s are winter food and after a week of Chili, I needed a change-up.   (but DAMN that last bowl of Chili was EX-SEE-LANT!!!).  

May have a winter paddle forthcoming with B.   Watching weather and if things look stable, we are planning on a day trip out in the frosty cold waters of somewhere here local.   Maybe my fugly boat will get to make her first trip.   Even though the ‘paint job’ is shitte, there were a lot of cool features added in that I really want to try out.  That hard deck, the bulkhead foot brace and a slight shift in the hull design.   Yeah, I should make one change, try it out then incorporate it into another boat with another change: thats proper protocol when doing things like this, but then, I am anything but a proper kayak designer.   I figure if any one of the changes is bad, I will know right up front seeing how this is ‘almost’ the same boat that I started with.  (same length and beam, new ribs but same profile other than less rocker, which is a change I do know the results of.)

Ok, Grizz figured out I am seated and not moving, so its lap time for him.   I’ll post more soon.

kayaky NOPES mehbes, and oh-sh!t-yeahs

First up, NO, I am not letting the world at large slow me up in my personal endeavors, and neither should you.   I may get the depressions, blahs and what not, but I am not going to stop being ME, just because there are evil shits loose in the world that aim to make us serfs, slaves or DEAD.  

and with that little rant out of the way, onward to the point of this post in general.  

been doing the experimentin’ things, and was quite pleased with one in particular, nut just this morning, figured out that its a damned NOPE!!!

What that experiment entailed was trying to find a different material combination to make this kayak skin out of.   Materials in question, Ballistic nylon (known unit) Polypropylene cloth (unknown), combined with Two part Polyurethane,(well known) and polystyrene resin (known unknown) and combinations there-of.   Ballistic nylon and Polystyrene, rocking for coamings and other hard points, SUCKS for skin.   the resin doesn’t flex like it did early in the experiment process.  It now cracks, and cracks mean leaks.   A leaky boat is not my goal.   the two part is the way to go no matter what cloth I use, and the BN for making the hard points (vs the glass since its TOO fragile in those areas.  The polypropylene works for the skin, but nothing else no matter what I use for the resin.  And I like the polypropylene since I can shrink it with a heat gun and it is NOT hydroscopic like the BN is.   That was my biggest beef of all with Serena: if the humidity was high (or she had been capsized and filled with water) her skin would go all loose and floppy.  Not really an issue performance wise that I noticed, but she looked bad and it would take weeks for her to dry out enough to tighten back up.

Now, the Oh-Sh!t-Yeahs.    Single chines. 20211120 1324213818182277211228363 With the rocker knocked down to near nil, single chines look awesome on this hull.  What I am doing is a single chine between keel and gunwale, with a false chine at the base of the gunwale( to smooth the lines) that will allow some flex of the skin before it hits rib at the waterlines.  That set, she has a very shallow v at the cockpit area that rides true up to past the feet and well past the cockpit before converging towards the ends.   Very sweet liines that way and better cut into the water without plowing.  With that shallow V, she will have good stability in all waters even if she feels tippy in the calm.   She will feel tippy, but not nearly as much as her former self did.   The former ‘shallow v” was very short, less than 4 feet, and was almost useless with that radical rocker stem to stern.   The ONLY advantage of that rocker was maneuvering, and she was so daggum long, even that was a chore: she didn’t have that spin in place thing going like the Jefe does. (and the Jefe is ALL rocker in ALL directions)

Now the Mehbes:  Still have a couple ribs left over from redoing the original ones.  Ones that I replaced just because of changes in lengths or didn’t like the original bends with the new units installed.   And I think, I am going to use a couple of those ribs combined with fiberglass/resin to make the new deckbeams that need replaced.  I dropped rib seven in place of one of the deckbeams ‘just to get a look-see’ and the profile was encouraging.  Those ribs are well cured white-oak so a layer of glass wrapping them will be even stronger, and lighter than the 3/4” laminated beams I am replacing.    I will have the chines cut tomorrow, the wood is sitting in my rafter right now with the splice curing under clamps.   I should be able to lash it in before dark tomorrow and then, flip the old (new) girl over and start on the deck.  (I have the bow cutwater done, and the stern will be pretty quick too.  Pics of that forthcoming.)

And I am not worried about keeping to pure skin-on-frame materials for the build, nor strictly tied and mortis/tenon construction.   Yes, the keelson and chines are tied in, but that is not because its traditional (it is) but for flexibility of the frame as a whole.  I am not building a traditional Greenland type kayak, I am building MY version of what I have wanted, and what I found works for me.   (thanks Ghostboat for showing me a different path). I know the mortis and tenon build method works, as well as lashing: Duh!kee is still holding together after 3 years, me beating on her in less than optimal conditions, sinking her, capsizing her, and even jumping on her to show others that she is one tough boat.  Yeah, the method is tried and true and proven over centuries of use in bad conditions.   And it’s not like I have been a purist from the get-go anyways.  Using two part poly on synthetic skin, using synthetic sinew to lash the boat together,  Yeah, Not so much a purist as THIS IS BETTER, DO IT!  LOL

Apologies for the Hiatus.

just going through the routines currently.  Fighting a mild case of depression, a usual for me this time of year, and no need to delve into the ‘why’s’ as there is reason enough watching the world slowly devolve; like watching a dementia patient slowly slide into the final state.   Oh, wait, just like watching Emperor Poopy-pants the first discuss the economy by citing  “I. Pencil” for dummies after reading only the opening chapter.

Lots of good stuff out there on the webs,  Sarah’s pointing out that our IMMIVASION is nothing new and very much an old tactic for softening up a resident populace.  I take back my statements of “replacement population” and will resort to “INVASION FORCES”: in all reality, there are real fighters in that mess, and I have mentioned to keep an eye out for ‘strange conex boxes’ in obscure locations.   And if you find one before kick-off of the festivities, consider it an early Christmas for you and yours, distribute accordingly, and KEEP YOUR DAMNED MOUTHES SHUT!!!!

Just going through the routines.   Going to the J.O.B. every day, making sure to represent my skills the best way I know how, and watching the supply chain issues slowly creeping our way.  Granted, we have had supply side issues for months now, but I am beginning to see them stratify into my areas.   We are down to roughly half a bundle of pipe that I use for building most of our products.  A quick calculation tells me that if we don’t get a shipment in this Friday, I am on temporary leave until such time as we have the materials needed.   I currently have 4 pages of build notes, and those four pages easily burn through our existing stock and into another bundle, and NOT BE COMPLETE.   And those pages are added to daily.   

No, that’s not the cause of the depression.   Honestly, I could take the next month off and it wouldn’t hurt my feelings one bit.   Might dig into my finances, but it wouldn’t bother me to maybe get some of those other things done thatI get distracted away from by having the daily duty of making a paycheck, (and feeding four-feets, keeping the homefires burning (literally this time of year) and all the other stuff that accumulates on a single dood curmudgeon living on a hill in KY)

YAY,  Grizzy just brought me a very young mouse, quite dead, and looking pleased as punch with himself.   ANother problem that irritates the hell out of me this time of year, and my Furbabies are doing danged good at dealing with it.   (and when he isn’t looking, in the toilet it goes.  Don’t want him thinking I don’t appreciate his ‘gift’.)

One thing that messes with me this time of year, probably the trigger for my depression is loss of daylight.   I work through most of the daylight hours, then have almost none to work with for ME/MY PROJECTS, and I start feeling behind the eightball on things.   That usually leads to me scrambling to ‘catch up’ and that is ALWAYS when the mistakes start piling up.    I may not focus on “Perfect” but I hate redoing any work, especially due to me getting stoopid and (feeling) rushed.  I am also wating on the fabric for the kayak build.   Ordered, but, yet again, the company I ordered it through is sitting on things.   I may have to start digging for a different company to deal with that I can rely on.  This is the third time they’ve done this.  The last two times, Order confirmed, but nothing ever shipped.  At least they didn’t charge the card, even though it approved and showed transaction complete, it was never finalized on that end.   Just frustrating when you are counting on something to complete a project, and find you have even longer to wait as you look for an alternate source/product/material to replace the original idea.   At least this instance, this is a rebuild, and I am in no rush to complete since its colder than a witches teat in November (It is November Dio) and the water levels everywhere around here are sorely lacking for any reasonable paddle fun.   Like B says, most of the creeks are ‘frigging goat paths” right now.   Even the Cumberland river nearby is a ‘float scrape, scrape PORTAGE, float scrape” trip, and thats just in the first down-river mile from my place.   It may be awhile before I can test float the “Rebuilt Kayak carcass formerly known as Serena/now Selkie”, and I want to do it on river as I want the current for testing handling and stability.   Static water of an inland lake won’t do in this case.   Just fiddlin’ details that I am trying to correct in this build.

Oh, yeah, for the test float, I won’t be using the new (when it ships if it ships) skin.  I snagged a poly-tarp from the billboard guys and that will be my makeshift skin for the test float. (gonna look kinda funny with a giant cheeseburger design on the skin,,,, sure won’t be a permanent thing,,, )   Polyester shrinks under heat, so I can stretch the ‘skin’ on, then use a heat gun to tighten it up.  Its already waterproof so I don’t need to seal anything up for a test run.  Its not like I am going to try and roll it, and if I capsize, its a wet exit, swim for shore kinda day then.   I don’t see that as an issue though, Serena was stable as all get out and I am not changing much in the hull shape in the cross section, just the longitudinal.  If anything, she will be more stable since I am widening the beam by one inch and bring the CG closer to Keel by flattening that rocker.  (and anyone that ever saw me in Serena prior will choke on that ‘stable’ statement, her primary was shit, but her secondary was a brickwall.  She just ‘felt’ tippy in flat water, but she was stable as can be in wild water. A definite confidence builder when the waves started breaking on her bow.  Even with that ‘brickwall’ secondary, she was an easy roller, and surprised the hell out of me at the pool. ). Maybe I can get some serious work done on the frame this weekend and get closer to that test day.   As for a repeat of the time loop thing, not a complete fit this go-round.   I had Serena wrapped and tested prior to T-day in 2019, and skinned and sealed by December 1.  That may not happen again due to the skin supplier.   (one alternate, pricey, but doable, is from an airplane materials supplier.   Same concepts, and I can get NON-FAA certified material for this to save a little cash.  No need to have the FAA dealing with a silly single seat boat, eh?)

outside of my darkened thoughts, Da is doing good.  Bored, what with me gone during the days working, and not having much time between getting home and total darkness.   Came home today and he and a neighbor were playing with a backhoe and digging the ducks a larger wading pool.  Funny part is, they aren’t even HIS ducks.  They belong to a local Gentlewoman Farmer, but Da goes out and buys 50# sacks of feed for them (and her free-range chickens), built them a pond so they didn’t have to risk going to the river, and even built them a nest site under his porch “so if the weather turns, they don’t have to waddle home”.    He comes off like a mean grumpy bastard to most people, but the man has a soft heart for animals that most people would never guess at.  

I wonder where I get it.  LOL.    

Anywhoos, y’all take care, I’ll be back tomorrow with something more inline with the currents of this blog.   Just needed some ‘Me’ time.

random misfires of a cold addled brain: Saturday edition

Lets face it, I’m getting old.   Or as a buddy of mine likes to say; “Ain’t gettin’, GOT!!”  Yeah, that.  I’m 53 years young, but even I have to admit my best days are behind me, at least physically.  Its time to start considering (past time Dio, PAST TIME,,,,) how to make my brain the highlight of my endeavors, not my back and brawn.

I started writing to vent, because the forum I had been using folded due to lack of membership, and I had been kicked off Frugal Squirrels for ‘being aggressive’. (Like I said then, I just calls it as I sees it.). Well, that’s not entirely true; I had made an effort to write while in HS, was in all the creative writing classes and College prep courses for writing and english (Hey, We even had a Sci-Fi class, and looking back, I see now why the teacher was perturbed by the ‘isolation’ of ‘one genre’.). I even posted a pic of my hand written dribbles here before. And remember, My Counselors were very much against me doing anything creative, doing everything they could to herd me into management of some sort.  All of this was Pre-internet days, (Remember MS-DOS?  Yup, THOSE days.) and pre-Indie publications, the intimidation factor was well built in and I didn’t pursue writing for ‘reasons’, not all were internal.

It wasn’t until the net really took off that my typing was anything other than mediocre and when I started posting on the web, my typing took off too.   THAT was when I realized that I could get my ideas out faster via keyboard than by that chicken-scratch looking crud I warily call ‘handwriting’,,,   And its a whole ton easier to hit the save button on a screen than scrawl out the ideas on paper, then hen-peck them onto a screen to do the same thing.  Now, I just need to practice setting things up, plot and premise, on paper, first, then let the pantser in me run amok (within the boundries of the plot that is.   Yeah, that’ll work,,,   gonna take some practice to keep that Muse on a leash, so to speak.)

Now, this comes around to “what do you really want?”   and its always a sticky point for me.  I have no desire for fame.  SERIOUSLY, NONE!!!   I like being obscure, odd, whatever.  BUT, I sure wouldn’t mind the cash flow.   LOL.  Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery a lot more bearable. And I do understand that at some point, one brings the other (Sarah’s recent windfall showed her she is more famed than she had any idea of.).  ((IN EDIT, I realized that I fairly well eluded that question, didn’t I?))

To put it another way, the same way I explained it to Granbehbie: ‘IF you can find 100000 people willing to pay you a dollar a year for what you do, then you will be making $100000/year.”   ( last I heard, lil-girl was bringing in a couple hundred a month on Utoob goofiness and she only recently turned 13.  Way to go, but don’t stop there Girlly!).   Look closely at the numbers of donors and the amount that Sarah gained.   Spread out, it comes to about $100/person, and many people spend far more than that a year on less substantial things. (like $8 lattes, but I digress). A Franklin a year for access to someone that helps ground and center you with sound advice and rock solid standards,,,,   Sounds like a bargain (and I still need to hit that donate button, just waiting on checks to clear on monday morning).

No reason to pick that apart anymore.  She earned it and then some, and I would encourage her to keep taking the steps that Muir and others, including second son, suggest of doing an annual drive.    Stop looking at the premise of book sales only, start looking at the sell of the words in general.

and thats where I am at.   I don’t want to ‘work’ for someone else for the rest of my days, and I have to face the fact that ‘retirement’ age is accelerating at me more every year.  (I will never ‘retire’, I’ll just keep burning the candle till I drop, same as my Da.).  There are times where it ‘pays’ to pay someone else to do things for you, freeing you up to focus on your stuff.   I see it and feel it weekly where I am current: bossman and son have the time to take care of their stuff during the day while the crews go out and do the jobs that bring in the money for them.   WE the workers, on the other hand, have to take a loss to do things like doctor visits (a double loss).   No complaints, thats how capitalism works, and anyone that gripes otherwise is a borderline socialist. (and it took awhile to learn that one myself,,,   Never said I was the sharpest knife in the drawer)

And I have no illusions that what I am looking at is very much WORK.   Hell, I have stated that several times here: writing those two books was more work than I ever expected.   And the deeper I delve into it, the more work I find.  The writing as actually easy, when it flows.  Its getting it to gel into something salable,,,,   And its not just work to make the words salable, its work to build your community, find your market, etc etc etc.

Sounds like LIFE.

I’m researching some things now.  I am thinking about doing something quite specific through SubStack, leaving the blog here for my rambles and what not.   I don’t want to be completely POLITICK no matter what I do, since all of that gets my BP going faster than my Ex-wife would.  I do have other aspects of my existance that I could focus on, like my kayaks or going off-grid, prepping or just how to be not so static in life.   (lord knows my life has been anything but static,,,).

Just keep showing up for the beating and eventually, you will find your niche,,,,  right?  or is Keep showing up and make the ruts deep enough that no-one can drag you out?   LOL.    Maybe a little bit of both, eh?   Maybe I just need to take the plunge, and do it.  This dipping my toes in the water to see if its warm will never get me swimming,,,

Dark Holes

Not Black holes, just dank and dark holes that appear and drag a psyche towards despair and apathy.   recent events with Sarah’s community of ‘Odds’ raising the bar on “How IT’s Done” let me take a few in introspection on my desires of the blog.   Ain’t gonna change a thing, and live with the lack of commentariat: I get feedback of a sort by the numbers, though I never know if its GOOD or BAD, just that the traffic flow is either up or down.  And occasionally I do get a Tamalanche (any one remember that term and how it came about?)

Clotshot strikes again?   Bosses Son had a “bro” that passed recently. It coincided with the clot shot perfectly and surprised the hell out of everyone around them, including the docs; but not me.   When SON was telling me the details, I asked “He got the shot recently, didn’t he?” and the answer was ‘within two weeks”.   Interestingly, even with the Flu season upon us, what I am seeing and hearing is more heart attacks, like many many more, and usually ‘out of the clear blue’.   In the last month, I know of 5 peeps that have passed over, all heart attacks, and only one was ‘expected’.   And not all of them were of that age when you expect shit to go sideways with a quickness.   And to whit, every single one of the vic’s, had received the clotshot at least once; one was on his third round.  Not sure if this is a valid data point or not, but every single one was male.  Haven’t heard of an women getting the shot and then dropping of heart issues, but that may have more to do with the ‘patriarchal’ bent of this area.   Yes, there is still separation of men and women in information (IE Gossip) that you won’t see in other places.  That male thing appears to be similar to how the younger demographics are playing out with the shot as well.  Most likely to have issues with the ‘side affects’ are the younger males.   Not trying to raise alarm here (thats already done) just trying to gather as much intel for people as my little world gives me.   Maybe I am paranoid, but I am far closer to the point of “am I paranoid ENOUGH?”  and I am trying to keep from crossing the line of “enough” to “straight jacket”.

Toss the dawgs a bone to keep ’em quiet.   I hadn’t said much about the revent (S)election Cycle, and what I do have to say about it is one anachronism:  TINVOWOOT!!!    The turnover in Virginia was not a win, and those that started crowing about ‘the tides turning’ need a good slap upside the head.   This was the bone to shush the dawgs for a spell while the steal continues on behind the scenes.   THEY GAVE UP VIRGINIA TO TURN DOWN THE HEAT,,,,,VA votes still rigged but ‘surrendered’ to ease the growing heat.  VA was rigged, but not to win, but to lose by the closest of margins, Rigged voting was caught live in internet JPGs with time stamps, and they still ‘lost’.   WHY?  To keep the heat down on the frogs to keep us IN the pot.  JMO of course, and that leads me into the next dark hole,,,,

Aint nuthin’ new: people are people and desire to survive is hardwired into us. Others more than usual, but survival of the fittest is not just a postulate.  In some, that desire to survive, or more specifically PROSPER sometimes takes on a life of its own and can be interpreted as GREED.  I don’t like using that word since any disparity in outcomes can always be interpreted as ‘greedy’ by the ‘have-nots’, but when I start seeing the “Pee-lousy-ees” and “Screw-more’s” in the world,,,,    IMO, anyone that would knowingly work to make a slave class for their bidding is no longer human and needs removed from the equation.  Sure, maybe there are some people in this world that are too dumb to get out of their own way: that’s what the Darwin Awards are for.  

We haven’t hit the bottom yet,  but its getting close, I can feel it.   Not even going to try and prognosticate a time-frame, but its coming.   But like Sarah says, They lose, we win.  They don’t account for the tenacity of a people that are not hardwired for monarchy.  

Xi-denlandia, home of the obscure and deluded

a different perspective on whats going on down south.  

THings are getting sporky and NOT ONE MEDIA outlet is talking about it in any way shape or form.  PRAVDA means TRUTH.  Did we learn NOTHING from the Russian experiment?

Yup, last night I made a trip to the store for a Coke (been cutting back, but,,,,) and the Enemedia was spouting something about Kamala-laladingdong trashing the US again.  Ok, thats a positive since she is a sitting VP, even if illegally ensconced, and the bitch shits all over the country she ‘represents’.   Good optics there, you heels in air whore.


Nada about the southern border becoming a hotbed of fun and games of the third world order.

And it is all about “REPLACEMENT POPULATION” and the Cartels are making BANK on it.   I never knew about the wrist band things: thats a new spin on this mess.   It shows that even the cartels have to package deal the product to keep up with it.  And that brings up: where the hell are these people getting the money to pay the cartels to move them?    Seems to me that someone is supplying a certain amount of lucre   Why would someone pay three grand to come to the US when that same three grand would set them up quite nicely in some of the places they are bailing on.   Incentives on this end, IE Free welfare promise and edu-mi-cation.   Short term thinkers for certain, because TANSTAAFL is damned near a natural law.   What we have is collapsing before our eyes and teetering on sudden implosion.

And I thought I was up on things in my research for “Wings”.  LOL..   Damn, this world is heavy into Wide Open throttle towards hell and we ditched the brakes somewhere around 2019.

I keep watching the markets for that seismic disturbance indicating full melt down, but all I keep seeing is the deadcat bounce.(not the proper term, but it sounds cool.)  Manipulated much?  Someone is making bank on this mess, but it sure isn’t the small investors or the producers of real goods.  And that ‘Someone’ is using it to destroy this place.   THAT!!!  Christ in a handbasket, this shit can’t be written like a story, NO ONE would believe it.   I know for certain that if someone had traveled back just two years to warn of us of what we have been witness to, They would have been locked up as KOOKS with a quickness.


SO, took Serena to the river.  Didn’t make it to the water.  Got a little ticked off at the situation at my usual put in/take out.   Someone had dumped several tons of trash in the area where you can park at.   This shit happens far more than I care to mention here.   I call it the “someone else’s problem” solution, and around here, its common place.  It will wash downstream in late winter when this area is prone to flooding, but that just puts the problem in someone else’s lap/backyard/riverfront/lower falls area.   It is a problem and one that no one around here seems to give a damn about.  Call the police and they ask if you saw the person, have video (and won’t do more than take a report if you don’t.) or have a bill or something with an address on it.  Dunno ‘bout you, but I really don’t want to spend my afternoon digging through several tons of someone else’s shit to see if MAYBE, they left evidence of WHO they are.  

And I picked up a roofing nail rolling out of there.  Slow leak, easy fix, but dammit, if it weren’t for that crap tossed away in some ‘no-name’ back hollar, I wouldn’t have had to fix squat!!!

SO, I came home to cool off and do something productive.   Even had Serena on the horses, knife in hand, and,,, 



Ever had to put down a pet?   It’s not quite that level of ‘couldn’t do it’, but not far from it either.   She is a “made by hand, BY MY HANDS” boat and while I do want to fix some of her issues, if I cut that skin, she is no longer the same boat.

I made a compromise with myself (and her).  I am going to build a new coaming, using a mold and fiberglass, and if it turns out right, THEN we do the reskin.     That is one of the issues I want to fix.  Her coaming is kind of pinchy.  I can wet exit just fine, but its the getting in part that sometimes rips off skin. And I can’t loan her to anyone unless they are my size or smaller, and she rides where I am about the low limit of her ‘needs’.(My usual set up is to load camp gear, even if its just a day trip, just to ‘balance’ her ride)     New coaming, +2” in width and length and see how things turn out.  Not used to using fiberglass ‘in the raw’ on a mold, so this one is a learning curve for me.  Spent the afternoon making the stuff I need to make the mold, put Serena back on the truck, just in case, and played with cats.   Still miffed at the pile of trash in my only local place to hit the river, but it seems like I am the only person here local that sees it as an “Issue”.   Frustrating, but, like I have said here before, “this area is not going to change FAST.” and that is one of those things that may never change around here.  (like dropping off the pets in some no-name hollar when the cost of feeding them goes up.  Another BIG issue around here.)

Winter is coming

(all meme’s Courtesy of Irish, many many thanks.)

Been a lot of medical ‘enlightenment’ within my immediate family of late.  Between the death of my mother, my Da nearly leaving us recently, BIL and Sis’s auto accident,,,,   Yeah, its been one hell of a year for education in what our health system has become.   As commenter, Dirtroadlivin has expressed here, it’s no longer a healthcare system, but a SICK-care system.  This meme illustrates the mentality that I see is so prevalent among most ‘Doctors’ attached to a hospital system.   

There is a Nurse Practitioner here’bouts that I have had dealings with.  Occasionally I will blow a gasket or hydraulic line and need the services of someone with good stitching skills, and she hasn’t let me down yet.  And we have such wonderful conversations about how screwed up the system is.  She opened an Urgent care site, and yes, its a franchise thing, BUT, it is not attached to the main system directly and she has a little more leeway in how she can handle most situations.  And I much prefer her attentions than those of the local hospitals for closing me up.  With the hospitals, in both cases, I ended up with a black mark on my credit score before I EVER knew there was a bill, and both places were paid in cash with receipts showing “Paid in Full”.   It wasn’t the hospital that sent things to collections before a bill was ever sent, it was the Doctors associations that did it.   In both cases, the bill was for over a grand.  And both sit on my credit record because the entire thing, STINKS of fraud, and I can take the hit for the next seven years.   

But thats not all of it.  There is an entire industry that is collusion with the SICK-care system.  The Media.   I know the following meme is faked, but it illustrates that just fine and it doesn’t take a genius to see that this “could” be a real headline in the press, if they felt they needed to make a point to keep the sheep in line.   (and its ripped from the fact that Joe Rogan was indeed prescribed Ivermectin and kicked the ‘Ronas.  They had to belittle it some way so they called it “horse medicine” even though the original intent of Ivermectin was PEOPLE, in Africa.)

And they get away with it because so FEW seem to have ANY critical thinking skills.  Well, maybe more than a few, and those more than a few don’t pay any damned attention to the media whores anymore.   Its the ones that still buy their crap that don’t ‘Think’.  

And then we have the whole ironic fact that our governent is actively attempting peer pressure to force DRUGS on the population.   After years and years of “this is your brain on Drugs” advertising, they turn around and try this shit.   And this meme is not lost on many,  Its that stupid, what they are trying to do.   You really have to wonder what the real intent behind their drive is.  It sure isn’t a health issue.    I say its all about control, but there are several points that say its about population reduction, and I find it hard to not believe that.  Especially with the recent issues that popped up in Israel.  Control, definitely.  Pop Reduction, quite possilby.   Need to remove a control group to cover their asses?  Wouldn’t doubt it for an instant.

And we all know that the entire system is corrupt from top to bottom.   That BIG PHARMA and the FDA are pretty much married to each other is obvious to anyone that has done any travel overseas and found that meds HERE, and meds THERE are completely different in pricing, and availability.   There was an OTC drug in Europe, and for the life of me I can’t recall its name, but its a Controlled substance here in the states.  It was the best damned headache relief I have ever used.   BUT, I can’t recall its name.  There is one that I do recall though.  Ketoprofen.   Went by the trade name Orudis KT.   Kicked my backpain FAST.    Then it started getting popular and suddenly, it was rumored that some college kids found out that it, on an empty stomach, taken with a coca-cola would get you high, and WHAM!!!!  The FDA made it a controlled substance.    Only, it was only a rumor, and IMO, certain bigger pharma companies were seeing a drop in their OTC Pain relief sales and bought some FDA cronie.  Now, I can’t even get a scrip for Ketoprofen because the company that made it went bankrupt fighting the FDA’s decision.

I have been driving myself nuts trying to answer the one question that keeps coming back time and again; “how do WE, the little people in the world, the ones that actually make the whole thing functional, FIX this shit?”  And I keep coming up with one answer, even though I HATE it.   We can’t. Let it burn.   Its gonna suck big green greasy donkey dicks for a long time, but what we have now, is NOT fixable without tearing it all down first.   

We have to get mean, we have to pull consent, and we have to stop letting the big faceless corporations milk us for everything we have, then piddle it back to us as “services” that don’t balance the books.  AND its not JUST the SICK-care system.  Its THE FRAUD,  The MSM’s, our SMEducation System from K through PhD; there is a lot of rot in the system that needs removed.

I keep writing this, and I keep coming up with some drivel that sounds like marxist bullshit, and I KNOW that is not what I mean.   There is a lot of GOOD in the world, but there is so much that is in control of big corporations with the only intent being to drive up returns for the investors.   There is a reason most doctors offices have more ‘nurses’ running accounting and paperwork services than actual nursing functions.   The Administration section of most hospitals has more people working in it than the medical staff, and I saw this first hand when I worked in IT, at a hospital .  I saw what was happening in the Medicine side of thngs all the way back in the early 90s.  If I was prescribed something, I would go over the border to a ‘Pharmacia’ and get what I needed for about a tenth of the cost here in the states, AND in most cases, didn’t need a Scrip to get it.   I bought a bottle of E-mycin 200mg/500count for $3, no scrip, no questions.  (and yes, some people are gonna get all bent out of shape that “people would get themselves killed if we didn’t control those things”.   Really?   DO you think that shit like ‘Uncertified Pharmacists’ don’t exist now?  Here?     Guess what, We call them “Drug Dealers”,,,,   If you think that, Search this page for my “there aughta be a law” posts for a full scathing of your backside.)

yeah,  I keep coming back to the BURN IT DOWN so we can build it back,  Right, this time.   Or at least better than what we have devolved into.   Yes, the experiment is over, but experiments MUST come to some end, or there will be nothing learned.  

I think we have learned a lot from this one.   The hypothesis may need a tweak or two, but thats how we improve.

Shhhh!!!! Listen close

Lots of quiet out there currently.

If I were Emperor kid-sniffer Poopy-pants, (or his string pullers, same difference) I’d be getting a might bit nervous.

Silence is not a sign of acquiescence or submission. Silence is the sound of preparation and ‘biding time’.

Web silence is the sound of meat space dialogues.

It could also mean someone/group, just tried a bluff to instigate, and it flopped.  

Everyone is saying that nothing Emperor Poopy-pants Declared, is being acted on in ANY bureau and without them (they are the Deep states Arms after all) nothing moves.   His lowness Xi-den spouted off a bunch of shit, that was shit, and did it only to tip some fruit-loop over the edge, hoping against hope that there would be something ‘credible enough’ to get some legislation rolling along to,,, 

Its ALL Kabuki theater. ALL OF IT.   Especially the Scamdemic, that a lot of peeps are still buying into. (Today saw two different retards with windows up, on the open highway, alone in their ‘hicle, wearing the Diaper of Shame.  Virtue signaling and I OPENLY LAUGH at them now, especially in public.  Probably gonna get shot at again if I keep it up.)

Bizzy week, lots of gates made and a few odd-ball items for self and SON,   Made a flag holder that ‘latches’ to his fifth-wheel hitch on his camper so he can fly Old Glory and Uncle Sams Misguided Chilluns flags while he camps out this weekend.   Finished my kayak racks for the truck, and they are ROCK SOLID this go-round.  And no howling or whistles like the last set.  Whoo-hoo!!!   Had to play ‘Rent and tell Da “NO! You can’t mow the grass yet, not till the Cardiologist gives you a green light”.   He wasn’t pleased, but agreed.  I’m telling you, the man is a harder worker at 81 than most of the twenty sumpins, and even the Thirty sumpins, we get at the J.O.B.   Most of us that can be counted on to ‘Git-r-dun’ are well into our fifties.  Two are past retirement age and only work because they would likely die if they quit working.  FYI, I’m only back there because SON asked me to come back, and after seeing one of the gates that was ‘welded’ up while I was out, there is good chance I am going to be remaking several to make sure they get paid.   Chicken shit looks better than what I saw today.   Son and I had lunch while we were out and I reinforced something I told Bossman over a year ago.  They need to hire someone for me to train, or they are going to be right back where they were three weeks ago, and likely with little warning.  I have no problem teaching my replacement, but Bossman is too chintzy, IMO, to want to pay double to make sure his ass is covered later.  SON agrees, especially on the other aspects of my J.O.B. IE, the controllers for the powered gates, radio programming, electrical installs for the controllers, programming card readers, among several other things that I have had to teach myself over the last 7 years, to fulfill Bossmans ‘can’t say no to a customer’ lunacy.   He bids these jobs, has no clue how to fulfill them, buys surplus gear from a cheap outfit ’trusting the salesman’ , and I have to jackleg the shit together to make it work.   (And that is where I am quoted as saying “Know it? Hell, I’m making it up as I go along.”  Because in those cases, that is exactly what I am doing.  9 outta 10, I never saw the manual until I was getting into the truck to do the install, and its dropped in my lap by Bossman saying, “Here, read up on this and see if you can make it work.’.). BUT,  if he won’t, It’s not my fricking problem, and he has been warned.   I was hoping that my two month vaca would have woke him up, but, can’t out-stubborn a rock.

I’m tired, its getting dark, Grizz is piled on my shoulders snoring, Voo is piled on his bed, snoring too, and the sound is feeling quite contagious tonight,   Talk at y’all tomorrow.


Ima chit somedays

Didn’t know I had an issue with things until yesterday eve, text messages between sisters.

Snapped on Eldest sis. Felt like a pre-emptive attack in self defense. I can be the Shit some days. (Note; I later apologized, but it was definitely a tactfully worded verbal assault .)

Took some time to step back and analyze my self/soul. And what I came up with was.

I’m fucking scared silly.

All the bullshit in the world reaching peak Clownworld status. The total failure that appears to be completely intentional of a superpower, so that it can devolve into a third world power (is that a thing?) watching local tyrants ride the wave of Covidiocy (the bug peaks before they crack down, but when they crack down, they double down on prior efforts. Just like a surfer trying to catch a wave.). Watching the IQ of the world losing altitude into potato levels.

And my Dad very nearly leaving my reality.

Yeah, I got scared. And hadn’t even realized HOW scared I was.

What isn’t clear is how scared I am of losing my dad. Or could it be having to face all of this with my dad in his current conditions. I think its more the latter function. Love my dad, but I know he’s tired and I won’t stand in his way if he decides ‘its time’.

I don’t leave wounded behind. Its hardwired in. And I know if shit went to Helena Handbasket right now,,,

And we are getting indicators, that may be the case.

I’m fucking scared silly.

So, now that I am aware of it, I can figure out what needs changed. First order of business is to get a second opinion on the urology thing. His heart thing seems well in order now, even though its still early in the game. But three weeks with a catheter in seems excessive to me. And that is what was told to him yesterday at the Urolgy docs. Is this a case of an enlarged prostate that needs time to settle down, or is there an underlying problem. And I have no clue what the doc said because that wave of covidiocy has reared its ugly head here and ONLY PATIENTS is the order of the day, again. (And I have alternate information about all of that, but its not relevant to this post)

Coffee is done, Kittehs fed, almost time to go play nurse before I go play welder, and somewhere in all the middles, try to figure how to ease my mind in a world gone mad.

More laters.

Thumbs a-twiddlin’

Sitting. Waiting. Deliveries behind schedule, parts to install but no parts to be had.  Pay based on work done, not time spent so pay is zip currently.

Sitting.  Waiting.  TPTwB pushing levers and buttons, but the machine isn’t going any faster.  Prolly cuz the wheels already fell off and we’re riding on the brake drums.  Lots of sparks and smoke, but nothing giving way to the next stage, YET.

I hear people sounding the drum, clanging on the pots, shouting from the roof tops,  that shits about to go sideways any minute.  And one thing tells me that they are likely correct.

I’m calm.

I found out years ago that my psyche deals with things a leetle differently than most people.  When I was involved in my first road accident,  the yound lady I was with noted that I was a cool as a cucumber before during and immediately after the destruction.  When I was in Kuwait,  before things got sparky with a small force of the Iraqi Republican Gaurd (in some shitty little national forest there, that was barely a grove of trees here) same thing; cool and relaxed with barely a hint of waiting tension. Like the steady state of a loaded spring.  When I had my little ‘spill’ on the Elkhorn, it was a problem to be worked, not a ‘shit my pants, ima gonna die’ moment.

I have no clue HOW  it works, I just know it does: to many times where people around me are losing thier shit, and I’m cool and relaxed ready for the next problem, complete emotional detachment from myself and the goings-on. Usually, if I am uptight, wont be shit for a reason. Like my kayaking, flat water has me more uptight than waves. And B can attest, I’m nervous nellie on the flat but smooth as ice when things get more vertical and curvy. The only time I get stressed is during verbal confrontations with other people; maybe its from knowing that if it goes physical, I have no off-switch,,,

For clarity, yes, I do have that “OMGOMGOMG” going on in part of my brain, but somewhere somehow some other life, I learned how to shut it in its own little box and shove it aside out the way. (And that ‘skill’ was present pre-USMC days, maybe the Corps just polished it up a bit.)

That part of my brain is in lockdown right now, but the warning signs don’t justify it, and that tells me somthing BIGGER is forthcoming. Or, that something much closer to home is about to go sideways. Thats the problem with this, I never have a clue until after the fact; I just know that when I go full calm, shits about to hit the fan.

I dunno, sometimes I get a clue from my pre-urges. Like in Kuwait, I had this demanding urge to triple check the action on my rifle ten minutes before we took incoming rounds. I’d just cleaned the rifle that morning, before we started convoy out of country, but damned if I wasn’t half breaking down my rifle checking shit WHILE DRIVING. My A-driver thought I was insane. I’m not getting that type of urge currently. I did make sure that my ammo and such were secure, but it was a cursory check; like patting your pockets to make sure you have your keys before you lock the doors.

Nope, no demanding urges, just calm and patient waiting.

All I can say is, “Watch your Six, know where your friends are, and keep your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark.” It may be a false alarm, but this feeling has never been false before.

Hypothesis time

You get up in the morning, you have a routine you go through, and then you leave an abode to enter a vehicle that you use to travel or accomplish some goal. The ‘vehicle’ is the center of my argument today.

What IF what we call life, or our bodies are nothing more than a vehicle and our true selves are coherent wave patterns at the quantum levels? The vehicle has a very complex computer system that allows total interaction at the physical level, but is limited to ONLY the physical. Our real existence is much broader and larger in scope and is partially accessed at times of rest (sleeping/dreams)?

What if those ‘crazy people’ are actually an evolutionary state with ‘better’ or ‘different’ computers, allowing higher functions to ‘leak’ into the physical realm?

What if I were to tell you that modern science has found that your brain is not confined to whats in your skull? That there are synaptic matrixes surrounding your ‘guts’ and that ‘gut feeling’ you get is not your imagination but that magnificent computer we call our brain recieving information from one of its peripherals. And we have terms like ‘muscle memory’,,, the brain is much larger and far more complex and every year (decade?) we find out what we knew is not quite fact. What if the quantum scientists are closer to finding out Valentine Michael Smith had the right of it?

What if all of the activity we record in an EKG is only the interface between the computer and our quantum selves?

Think about that for a moment, please.

No, it doesn’t answer the ‘why are we here?’ questions, or the ‘what happens after we die?’ questions either, but it could start to give insight into the second one. If you consider that this ‘vehicle’ we inhabit during our woke moments is just a physical interface, that when it expires we can create a new one: maybe all of the dogma is bunk.

Now, I’m not saying we shouldn’t be good, or not have a higher purpose to fix the evils of this reality; maybe that is why we created this reality to begin with; as a training ground to learn HOW to do whatever it is we need to learn. Its a much neater cleaner way of making mistakes, to limit them to one small rock in the universe than to screw up when your quantum self is manipulating galactic star dust.

What if the real battle isn’t ‘Good vs Evil’ but more ‘Creator vs Controller’? Those that want to create vs those that want to control everything. Growth vs entropy could be another way of looking at it.

Use that open mind of yours for a minute and see if that idea (creators vs controllers) makes the world strife around you a little clearer. If my theory of our being quantum shadows (physical representations of our quantum selves) has any merit, then the strife we see ‘here’ is a reflection of a much larger battle taking place all over the universe: growth vs entropy.

No, I don’t have any answers, just a shit ton of questions; I’m stuck in this space time reality trying to figure out the ‘why?’, same as the rest of the quantum shadows surrounding me. Maybe the cats have the why off it, but they aren’t talkin’,,,

And maybe I took a few too many hits of acid waybackawhen,,,, LOL.

(But, What if I’m right?l