Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it – no matter if I have said it! – except it agree with your own reason and your own common sense.” – Siddhartha Gautama, a.k.a. the Buddha


In memorium

I didn’t see anyone I knew, pass the torch in theater, but I know those that have.

I knew of several nearby, though I knew none personally.

but the memory of those times will linger with me forever. The smells, the sights, the laughter, the sorrow, and most especially, the FEAR; not knowing if you were going to be next, or if you would make it home upright on your own two feet, or in a chair with wheels, or in a flag draped box. The Fear that is created when Power drivers use the tools they amass to push political decision with force. Those tools have names, faces, family, and usually no interest in the reason, but every interest in getting home alive.

Not all do.

WE all gave, but some gave ALL.

THEY are the reasons for this day, and why we should pay stricter attention to what is going on, in that ‘shining city on a hill’. Maybe they were just “tools” to be used and discarded, in the manner that our ‘betters’ seem to imagine them. BUT, most all were patriots in some fashion, and felt the call to serve a nation as such. We would do well to honor that, and not just by toasting a beer over a burger to them, but by giving them a moment of silence; silence to whisper to us, the living, that maybe, we need to get off our duffs and start honoring them by DOING the things that need done, no matter how much we do not want to throw that switch.

Reflect on that while you enjoy the rest of the day.


Stoked and runnin’

Krazee middle of the month, with blow’d up truck on a thunder run, followed by the recovery thunder run and all the fun and games of getting things together to make it right.

Cost me, and cost you, my dear readers, but damn, so worth it with what I have to share.

Ok, first up, Buffalo,,, I had been fighting a front end noise for over a month. Thought it was bearings (that I had replaced less than 2 years prior) Wasn’t them. Found the ball joints were worn out and did replace them: that wasn’t it. l

Did the thunder run to ‘Bama and rear diff frag’d on me. Get her back, donor Diff is near perfect match (taller, by a few percentage points. Speedo is off by 5mph at highway speeds,,,,) but works flawlessly.

and that ‘front end noise’ is gone completely. Only thing I can figure is the bearings going out in the diff were vibrating the frame and causing the floorboards to resonate, completely screwing my diagnosis up. Even my Unk thought it was front end and thought it may be the front diff going. Both of us were wrong, but situation rectified now.

And to make it even better, I have a full donor vehicle that I need to strip of parts . Offered $200 for the diff, bought the whole damned truck, then Unk turned around and asked me to buy him an electric weedeater like mine ($150 at big box store) since he liked how well mine worked, in lieu of paying him that cash (and saved me $50). He is payed off now and I have a good engine and transmission, transfer case and axles for the taking before I scrap the body of this monster. The body is a rust heap, mostly frame rot, but some body rot too. Not horrible considering its a rust belt beast, but bad enough that I have no need of hanging on to it. But the engine and trans,,,, Hell, Unk drove it to where it sits right now. Fired up after sitting for 3 years and he took it through the woods on one last joy ride before surrendering it to me.

And right now, I have no need to pull anything off it,,, I will, but no rush, and I want to build a small shed to hold what I pull off it until such time as I need it.

Onto Lyssa,,, The goddess of madness that instigated the whole affiar. Cripes is she a fun boat. Moving at speed, with a bit of edge and using the paddle as a bow-rudder, she will turn on her path in less than one length. FAST,,,, Not quite as fast as a WW boat will, but she is double the length of one of those, but far faster than even BlueJean does. and BJ does NOT like bow rudder moves, at all. I always have to use stern-rudder on her to get her to turn, or sweeps if not moving. Lyssa is going to be able to teach me a lot of things I have struggled with in other boats.

I have not rolled her as yet, but with how her ‘secondary’ felt, I feel she is going to be easy to roll. Maybe even easier than BJ is,,,, I was having too much fun in our introduction float to mess with rolling today. Put on 15 miles on the lake and the only reason I stopped was that leak I mentioned. Yeah, the crack was weeping, but that wasn’t where the majority of the water was coming from…. I noted that when I was doing left turns, starboard edge dipped in water, I was getting wetter. Enough that by the time we got back to put in, I was sitting in a couple of inches of water (and I realized that I had forgotten my sponge to bail with.) That skeg box has two tubes feeding it, and the shorter one on the upside of the skeg (receiver for the extra cable so it isn’t digging into your thigh) was wide open, no cap on its end. A rubber vacuum cap from an autoparts store and that is fixed.

And right now, Lyssa is back on the horses as I repair that crack to stop the weeping hole she has.

Looked like a hair, turned into a spider,,,,

Gonna slap a section of glass and resin on the inside after I dremel out the old grungy glass, but I have to wait for the gel repair first. She will be water ready by sunset today.

Gonna be a good summer so long as the world holds its shit together.

Happy paddler

5.3mph and wasn’t trying. Whoa!!! You can tell by my moving average that I am out here just piddling ’round, not pushing things. Only, I am pushing things, just not the speed. More like edges and along with paddle moves I haven’t been able to play with i. Other boats: even BlueJean,,

In a word; spritely. She’s very mch alive in water. Acts much like BJ but a little more coltish. She is 1″ narrower in beam,same length, and the cockpit is more forward, so I expected a little more lively feel. Yeah, 1″ makes huge differences in kayaks. But she is so confidence inspriring at the same time. Not as demanding of attention as Lizzy, but not quite the ‘rock of Gibraltar’ that BJ feels like either; somewhere in the middle. Takes waves smoothly, but you know they are there, no matter if its bow/stern on or abeam: she responds to them. Lizzy takes bow and stern waves as if they didn’t exist if they aren’t taller than she is. BJ; much the same. Lyssa notes ’em, rides ’em and giggles about it.

Powering up, digging in, she scoots! And just like BJ, when ya let up, she’s wanting to swap ends. Drop that skeg to midpoint and she lines right back up. Noted 1/3 keeps her in line on beam breezes. And when that skeg drops full, she begins responding like a much longer boat; wants to run straight even on edge. A very aggressive skeg, but thats a good thing when you really need it.

Downside: found a leak in the cockpit. (More like a weep) Hairline crack in the gel I hadn’t seen, is below waterline, and through into the glass. I can see water damage in the glass, so it’s been there awhile. Easy fix for me since it’s in the white gelcoat, not the red decking. And I have glass and resin for the inside.

But, leak or no leak, we are getting back on water and playing a bt more. Temps are on the rise, though clouds are scheduled to break until later today. And this lake is flipping empty of people right now. More later y’all,,,,

Wasn’t kiddin’

It’s flippin’ kold today. My mind has already started the transistion to summer weather and the sudden plummet of 15-20 degrees has hit me like a 30 degree drop. That breeze out of the north is bring some Canada with it and me and the furries ain’t diggin’ on the Kanuck thermostat.

I built a fire in the stove just to knock the chill out. About froze my arse off last night even with a comforter and two big horse blankets. Woke up and put on a watch cap and went back to bed (gotta keep the head warm or the rest of you goes numb,,,) A fire in the stove now means no repeat of last night.

Frickin’ KOLD!!!! Hopefully the last blast of winter,,,

(Update: as for how I have been getting gelcoat to cure in this shit, I set up a stool under the hatch of the compartment I am working on, and set up a candle just inside the opening. Raises the air temperature in the compartment enough that the hull feels warm to the touch and that heat helps the Gel cure, even in 55 degree ambient. Still takes longer, but not AS long as it would otherwise.)

drizzly sit out

but I has all day tomorrow, and I WILL get out rain or no. Today was spent doing thngs around the ‘stead, and getting gelcoat sanded smooth, despite the cold out on that porch. Nasty breeze blowing out of the N.W. and chill factor made it unbearable for long.

So, no pics today, but tomorrow is supposed to be partly cloudy turning to blue skies later and I promise that I will get out there, do my thing and get some pics for y’all. Sanity break for me, since this weekend has been all work with little play, though VERY productive. I may even go out and try to put that hitch on today since I have some time and the carport is dry (though just as cold as my porch,,,,)

early sunday (too early)

its rainy and gloomy out there right now, and oddly enough, no kittehs burrowing onto my lap,,, Mama is in psuedo-heat again (she can’t have babbies, but that doesn’t stop the hormones.) and the boys are following her around like a little parade of kitteh tails, driving her batty. She’s doing a lot of growling at them (she thinks they are HERS and so doesn’t want anything to do with that inbreeding thing. I’m certain she doesn’t understand it on that level, but instincts run strong in kat, and that inbreeding thing should be very strong indeed.)

Gel coat patches on Lizzy and Lyssa right now. Small spider cracks in the hull (no leaks, just potential issues if not fixed) near the skeg box on Lyssa, and I am repairing my repairs on Lizzy with proper gelcoat. The ones I had done were solid, but looked bag-nasty. Maybe she’ll fetch the price I listed her at if she is in proper fit and trim. with matfching repairs. Will see. I like being able to fix the FG boats like this, but man, its like watching paint dry while waiting for the epoxies to cure,,,(it’s cold out and slowing the cure process) Roto-boats are easy to fix too, now that I know how to weld plastic and they are much faster to repair, since what you are doing is ‘real time’ vs watching paint dry. BUT, FG has better longevity. (and resale value,,, Who said I wasn’t thinking forward,,,)

I mentioned yesterday about Reflecting on the Fallen this Memorial day. The price they paid fof us so that we can live in this country, with our freedoms,,, And how all of that has been twisted around and turned into some psychotics dream of the USSR as ‘it shoulda been’. I think the hardest thing for any former military person when getting out is coming to the realization that what we ‘thought’ we were serving was NOT the reality. That we were tools of destruction to be USED and discarded as needed. Watching the internal destruction of all the branches by this “Woke’ bullshit that is constantly failing when applied IRL, (just ask Buttwiper, or Tar-Ge,,,) Seeing the Woke (they ain’t, they still live in their own private dream world) attending the halls on the shining hill, (that is glowing like nuclear radioactive waste about to go critical,)

I’m proud of my service, even if what I served was NOT that patriotic scenario that I thought I was doing. I knew while sitting on the beach in the land of Saud, waiting to reboard ship, that we would be back there, and the second time around was not going to be the success that we had just delivered. Ten years later, some passenger jets became weapons of war and when I saw that second jet slam into the tower, I knew then that the world as I knew it was over. I never imagined the shit that has come down the pike since the misnamed ‘Patriot’ Act #1 was signed into law. I certainly never thought I would see some delusional Pedo get ‘honorably’ promoted into an Officer rank never earned in a branch IT had never served in, so that this admin could show just how DIverse and Understanding they truly were.

Our world is upside down, total klown world, Honk Honk. And yet, at the individual level, the ‘normal’ is still pretty thick on the hull of our reality. It’s when you start looking forward, or scratching a little (by watching the news or whatever you use to keep ‘informed’) that the ick starts rising to the surface and all those hopes and dreams of the fallen soldiers, marines, and sailors of yore, fought and died for, to protect our IDEALS,,,, All of that gets shattered.

I wrote a post a few years back (no link, lazy and don’t wanna look) called “In the Gates”. It was under Oblammy-o-boy, and I saw then the direction of where things were headed with the DIE and racism coming full circle. Never thought I would see government sanctioned riots and looting, or the total breakdown of ROL, but hey, not a bit surprised either. I knew in 2008 that things were going to get much more sparky before they settled into some groove, and while the trump years were a nice respite, they were going to be of a limited nature by the very fact that they didn’t fit what the PTB wanted. That was obvious by the way the structure fought him tooth and nail at every corner. I said it before, as a person, I did not like him, but as a businessman, he had merit, and I felt that having a successful businessman/woman in office would be the breath of fresh air that could turn this country around. That he wasn’t able to accomplish this fact showed to ALL just how anti-ethical the PTB are, and the reaction by them (PTB) was to panic and go full throttle on the plans they had.

And that’s a good thing. It woke (truly woke) up a lot of people about just how screwed they were, being fleeced of property at every turning, having their children brainwashed by pedophiles and delusional gendered whack-jobs, watching more and more taxes being applied to everyday living for less and less return on infrastructure while watching freshman congress-critters become multi-millionairesses in less than one term.

The veneer has peeled and the waking of the masses is gaining speed.

I dunno where it goes from here. Too many moving parts with too many inputs of power to drive it. We have nukes being handed out all over the European/Asian theater, with all the grift and graft going on, the potential of level 5 viral weapons being made in secret goverment labs around the world, the continual inflating of world currencies and the reduction of a productive class here in the states by foolish policies that enrich only a few, and the list goes on and on,,,, Who COULD know where all of this is headed. Maybe we are about to get shot back in time with techy toys that can only hold on for a few years before they become so much junk to be cast aside. Maybe we are about to become some feudal caste society again. Maybe we are about to enter CWIII and take back our country. NO ONE KNOWS.

But I do know the Ameri-CAN ideals are valid, and WORK. If we can keep those near to heart and head, we will get through this, and come out better than before. At least for a few generations and the rot starts to creep back in.

Its all part of the cycle. The cycle that repeats across time.

A sign of an American

Americans drive EVERYWHERE,,,

I heard that more than a few times from Euro friends in my past. Especially the T-bag Sound ‘Engineers’,,, (gawd forbid you called them a sound guy, they would get livid!!)

Well, I guess I am fully American, since I shed an anxiety when I got the Buff up-n-runnin’. I had been feeling a touch trapped here on the hill. Had tranport, of a sort; if you wanna call a Honda Fourwheeler transport,,, Around here, they are for many: like those that have five too many DUI’s and can’t get a license let alone insurance without serious monetary output (and they can’t get a good job since they have no reliable transportation,,, Its a cycle that just keeps feeding itself, and for the most part, self-inflicted,,,)

But yeah, once I had Buffalo running, I did some of the things that I had been holding off on, like depositing my paycheck (closest ATM I can use without getting hit with fees is in B-ville; 14 miles away. A bit of a hump on a fourwheeler.) and picking up a package that had been delivered to work. Another downside of this place: Zon doesn’t want to deliver many items to my location even though there is only a half mile difference between it and where I work.

When I had a moment, I sent a text to B. One word; FREEDOM!!!! and it sure as hell felt like I had shed some chains, suddenly having my ‘wings’ back. She may ‘just’ be a truck, but when you live 20 minutes from nowhere and thats 40 minutes to somewhere,,,, Wheels is IMPORTANT.

(and admittedly, Kayak hauling is SO so much easier when you have something to strap them onto instead of lugging them miles and miles on a shoulder.)

Tomorrow is domestics day, and I have a mess of clothes that are in dire need of serious washing (or burn pile,,,) AND, I fully intend to get Lyssa wet again ASAP. Blue Jean is down right now as I am remaking her hatch covers and she is not seaworthy without them. (she can hande the flat stuff, so long as you don’t try edging,,) I started doing that because they were leaking in rolls, and I had down time since I didn’t have anywhere to go or a way to get there if I did,,, Now, I am halfway into the job and suddenly find I have FREEDOM. I will get them done, a bit every night (hand stitching them, and these hands don’t handle small repetitve tasks like they used to,,,)

AND,,,, Monday is Memorial Day. I think this time period in the US, with our forgotten warriors of the past that did the deed, should be remembered MORE and reflection on what they fell for,

because this sure as hell ain’t it!!!

times are changing, and the level of ‘fed up’ is growing. That we have a fraudulant administration is pretty much accepted as fact by even those on the other side of center/right and I have heard some of them voicing disgust by what they see. While I wanna rub their noses in it, I don’t,,,, But I do tend to mention the ‘we warned you, but you didn’t listen,,,’

I’ll be back tomorrow, maybe with some pics from my church. The trees are all in full glory these days, and the waters have been showing this awesome blue-green cast for weeks: I wanna share that with y’all…

13:11,,, The Buffalo has landed.

That went WAY smoother than I thought it would, and yes, I has a couple skinned knucks, and shed some blood to the small gods of wrenches and mechanical things,,,,


I’m jumpin in the shower for what looks like a three-round session with at least one full bar of soap: I am shade-tree gross in road muck and 80-90. (that whole backend was SOAKED in the whale sperm goop. Some of the nastiest smelling goop,,,blech! )

More later as I get things back together for my day to day (I did not install the hitch at this time,,, Got to that point and three of the bolts were fighting and I was flying on my progress and didn’t want to F it up. It can wait for a later date.)


As far as pulling donor parts (for now).

4:30 when I loaded Da’s truck with parts, tools, jack, etc. Came onto the porch for the wind-down beer, and it immediately started raining. Nuttin’ serious, typical late spring shower: enough to get things dampened down, knock the pollen count down a touch, and absolutely tick off Grizzykat.(he was napping on the side porch in the open. Came around the house fast, mewing about how RUDE mama-nature is. ) And about enough to be glad I had wrapped up already. Don’t like me tools getting wet; too many to dry off and they dont get used as often as they did, so don’t always have that fine protective coating of old car muck to keep ’em rust free. (The ones used today sure do,,,)

Tomorrow begins the finer, more meticulous R&R on Buffalo. I had the luxury of “thats not gonna hold up, cut it free”, and I do have some spare pieces (nuts, bolts, shackle bolts) that I can trust if things get ‘too tight’ on Buff, but if things get tough tomorrow, its gonna cost. Focus is the Diff, but I also have the factory Reese Hitch that I would like to swap over. Don’t like bumper pulls: gotta have that hitch. She has been too long without one.

Best I can tell, this diff is limited slip, where Buffs is posi. That in mind, Buffs’ current diff is worth rebuilding, for reinstalling later, when finances are more available. Till then, she needs functional, and a limited slip is no handicap (until you’re in the mud n muck,,,,) I am puling the covers on both tomorrow and checking ratios (not that I have much choice but I wanna know) and will see for certian the differences in diffs,,, gah, that sounds lame,,,,

Been a long day,,,,

about as redneck as you can get

moving forward. had to share. (and the pic does the blazer more justice than it deserves. Serious rust belt car,,,)

Technical issues

but not really, more labor intensive-like.

Going to be tearing into the Donor-blazer today, getting that rearend pulled apart, and getting it into Buffalo. May or may not be a today thing, but that means lots of wrenching cutting what-not,,,

So’sssss If’n I don’t do much posting over the next couple-o-days, y’all understand, right?

Successful extraction

That pic is at the place she has been sitting for the last few days, just before take off.   Reattaching the Drive shaft was a no go, but Cecil used his John Deere to push her onto the trailer easy-peasy.   A little Dawn dishwashing liquid for lube under the rubber and she slid just fine.   Tied down ready to roll and it wasn’t even noon yet.

Home, getting her off was almost as easy.  long 1/2″ cable to a fixed point, tow strap around her hitch and pulled the trailer out from under her.    And there she sits until such time as I have the parts  pulled  from the donor ‘hicle and am ready to play swappy-swappy.  

but not tonight.  Ol’ Dio and Da are whooped pups after a 500 mile round trip thunder-run.

And costs?   $120 in fuel round trip.  Told Son of Bossman, “don’t get rid of this truck!” and showed him the reciepts.  He was as impressed as I was.   18 gals at first fill up (after pickup and turn around) and 15 gallons as we reached homeport.  Empty trailer on trip out, loaded trailer on return and her milage didn’t vary by much at all, and I only really noticed the load on craptastic roads (Chattanooga, I’m looking at you babe!) or when braking on down hill curves.   The trailer brakes seemed to work well, until I really needed them (bone head pulled out in front of me,,,)  but no mishaps so I still call it a win.

Nothing much to talk about in the ‘Clearing the air ‘ department.   Did some talking but Da has never been one to discuss issues with people directly.  Maybe something sis said, or I did, made him re-assess his stance.  dunno,

But, We is HOME, everything is close at hand and not scatttered to the four winds , and I can get bizzy on takin’ care of bizniss


those that the gods wish to destroy, they first drive mad.

The Greek demi-goddess of Madness, frenzy and rage was LYSSA

With all the madness, chaos and other aspects that have arrived in my world along with this boat, I find that name quite fitting.   Lyssa was a reluctant goddess, hestitant to use her powers and would protest when the Higher gods instructed her to apply them. 

No, the name won’t color my attitude about the boat, And maybe I need a little madness outside of my ‘normal’ odd self,,,

Ok, Situation update: Buff is not back in the fold, YET,,, that has been slated for tomorrow morning/day and my Da (cue shocked intake of air) is going with me and insisted on it.   THIS, despite a week of being at war with me over trivial shit (kayaks, testing my wings,,,) and treaing me like a pariah at all other times. I just found this out tonight on a phone call between sis and self. I also found out that her and her SO are in town next weekend,

I told you I was fighting more than one war on this end and didn’t really want to cover it,,,  but that was the ‘other war’ I alluded to.   Seriously, I think he is feeling a bit left out because I wasn’t leaning on him for every little detail, and only called  him for extraction after I had exhausted all other resources.   (I did that because I KNOW how much he despises long drives, NOT to leave him out of the loop.) or, as my mentor at work said, ‘he acts like he is upset that you are getting shit done,,,,’ and with that in mind, I think he is feeling a bit of fear that I am getting my wings strong enough to fly the coop. Human emotions are one of the INTJ’s special strengths: because we are so prone to misinterpretation of them when we are young, we make it a study of ours to understand what we don’t understand inuitively. And we still muck it up, and I am probably reading too much into things. What I do know is that he has been acting strange the last few days since Buff broke down, and his verbal actions don’t mesh with his body language.

AND there is the very real head-butting between us over his “you can only paddle one at a time” and my “each has a set of conditions that it works best in, each is not the same.”  Not that it matters, I will own what I own despite his desires otherwise,,,,   It’s my life and I have to live in it.  Frugal and spartan but not destitute or without respite.  My kayaks are my respite.

So, tomorrow is Vehicle Recovery day, AND Da/son ‘clearing the air’ day,,,,  LOL   I may need a drink or seven when I finally return home.

Where my Tribulations stand,,.

Ok, Unk brought the Blazer over and parked it near the end of my drive, ready for me to yank what I need/want.

Talked to Son of Bossman this evening, and he changed plans a hair.  Instead of him and I doing the thunderrun, I, little ol’ me, will be doing that run solo with a 1 ton dually and car hauler.     Doable, and level of difficulty will reside in if I can get that rear end unlocked.  I have an idea on that and if It works, I won’t need to use a winch or come-a-longs to get Buff loaded.  

WHAT I am thinking is that the pinion is loose enough without that front bearing in place that it is binding with the ring gear.   Take the back cover off, hammer the pinion forward and see if things loosen up.  If they do, put that pinion bearing that I recovered back in, tighten that nut and hub on, put things back together ‘just enough’, and drive her onto the trailer.   It’s not like I would be doing any more damage moving her fifteen feet with no lube on those gears.  

Sounds good in theory and probably gonna bite me in the nads, but the only other option I have is winch/come-a-long and lube the rear tires on the deck with dawn dishwashing fluid  (slick as snot, and cleans up easy.)  Getting her off the trailer is easier,,, just hook a towstrap to her and a tree and drive the trailer out from under her.  Not pretty, definite expediency thing, but this ‘Thunder Run” is on my dime, (thanks to you all, its doable too.) my hours, with the help of the company in providing the tools I need to do it, and nothing else.   No whine there, just stating a fact, but they know me; I am a stubborn mule about ‘Mission accomplished’ and if I have to do this alone, alone I will do it.

SO, that’s the plan, and right now, I need to get my butt out to a blazer and start pulling things apart in preparation. (note, I considered just leaving the blazer intact and moving Buff’s interior (the only thing really wrong with the blazer is trashed interior) but Unk “junked’ the title and it would cost more to get that reversed: three years of back taxes on it, plus whatever exorbatant fees the county could figure how to add in.)

Another Thank You in order

Sitting on the porch, working plastic on Blue Jean (cleaning up welds and smoothing them out) Unk was walking his dog and Grizz and I decided to join him.

welllsssss,,,,, He has 2002 Blazer, that has been sitting at his place since he bought his Toyota pickup: it ran just fine when he parked it last, was started not so long ago and ran,

and is a ZR package,,, disc brake rear end,,, same VIN codes on drive train as mine.

I has a replacement rear diff. He stopped driving it because he likes his Toyo better and was going to make it into an off=road vehicle strictly, but, decided he is likely not going to finish that project and offered me any parts off it I could use,,, specifically that diff, but even suggested taking the engine,,, (Oh so damned tempting,,,,,)

My thanks goes out to him and IS (universe if you will) for lining things up when I was starting to feel more than a little frazzled at the edges.

I am going to pay him for it, told him $200 even though he is giving whatever I don’t use to another cousin, to dispose of at the scrap yard. Take all I can get off it, right? That’s my thinking anyways.

Now I just have to get the offending vehicle home,,, hopefully in the next day or two, Son of Bossman will make that call. fingers crossed here. Lots of debts being built on my end, but what else am I going to do with my time, eh? (bore ya all with more kayak-y crap,,,LOL,,,)

Maybe I’ll have it done in time for this again,,,

The wars we wage

in our danged heads. 

It should be obvious to my readers that I am at war with myself from the last couple of posts.   But, it’s all good: this is a war that will come out how it comes out and there is only the ‘do what I can, and that’s all I can do’ aspect that can’t be avoided.

That last “Do what I can do and that’s all I can do” is the key.   Something that seems to get left behind by so many.   You can’t make water run uphill, and you can’t fight gravity, heat can burn and things are ‘just so’ for reasons we don’t always understand.

like the world at large right now, being dismantled by an invisible group of psychotics that think they have a better plan.   What hubris that is, to think they have a better plan than the author of our script.  We get some say in it, yes, but thing’s will play out however they will, despite our best efforts and intentions.  That lesson was hammered home again yesterday.   I failed to read the script cues and so the script was re-written to toss in some other lessons.   In hindsight; always 20/20, I was given the clues that I had a problem but failed to see them.   Small failures cascaded into one big catastrophic fail, and now, here I am, making choices that I could have avoided.    

Shit happens.

and that is just how it is.  Shit happens, things break, and we keep moving forward in time.   Sometimes that movement is glacially slow (like right now for me, unable to do squat on getting the situation remedied until some others get invovled.) or so damned fast, we look around in awe. (like capsizing Duh!Kee,,,less than one second underwater to come up the otherside, flat cod-walloped that I was breathing air.

And what is bugging me the most right now is that time factor: I have a problem, have a solution, but can’t do JACK about either right now because all the pieces are still scattered. 

And the lesson of Patience is being hammered into me, yet again,,,,   Frick, I am NOT a patient man,,,, (yes I can be, but this one is an exception; I don’t like feeling stranded, and that is the underlying emotion of my world right now.)

((and I have to admit, having an un-tried boat sitting on my deck is driving me bat-shit right now.    Water is 1/2mile away, but may as well be across the county at this point.   A 60# boat is a bear to hump up a hill and for a 1/2 mile.   There is a solution, I ain’t seen it yet,,,))

as for said untried kayak,,,   I really want to get her in water to see if what i am seeing on dryland is real, or the illusion of being on dryland.   I can move in this cockpit like I used to move in the Pirouette, lay back just like I described in the Necky that was,,, and usually (hull dependent) those translate into control.  Control that I lack in Lizzy. (can’t lay back in Lizzy, though I can off sides,,,wyrd,,,)  PLUS, this boat holds my winter sleeping back that fights getting into holds.  I am bad itching to get her on water right now.  I may have left my skirts in Buff, but I can still paddle, just no rolling play.  But I can tell you this, I will KNOW this boat in five minutes, she is that in tune to me in the cockpit and I only needed to adust the footpegs.  

Alrighty, I gotta stop talking about it and find that solution.  I may not be able to get her to the river today, (and really don’t want to take her near rocks, but,,,) but If I figure something out, there are always evenings now that the days are longer.  (until Buffalo is here, then its bizzy bizzy to get her back on the road; kayaks WILL wait for that.)

Her home away from water


probably shoulda posted this in the weehours, but I hit the sheets like a felled tree and slept like the dead until hydraulic pressure (aided by a kitteh bouncing off the abs telling me ‘Mornin’!!!’   blasted kat!  ) forced me to ambulate to the head.  

Driving through Chattanooga in a strange truck, at night, in the rain, on a Friday,,,  I DO NOT RECCOMEND.    Felt safer racing a fiveton across the Kuwaiti desert.

Got the Da home, and since the truck was loaded with all my chit, we agreed I bring it up the hill and unload it this AM,,,   Still need to do that, then attend to the domestics stuff that ain’t gonna wait another week.

Dunno what I wanna do with the Buffalo:   the more I dig, the less attractive repairing her gets.   Gotta get her back here no matter what, OR, at least get back down there and get the rest of my crap out of her.    Left stuff because Da’s truck is smaller in the cab than she, and nothing was essential to mission at this stage.     In hindsight, I should have stuffed all that stuff in the holds of the kayaks,,,   Was a little rattled yesterday and not thinking clearly, and getting mixed ‘pushes’ from different angles, including my internal ones.    One thing that kept trickling back was ‘Just sign the damned title over to this dude’ (the shop owner that couldn’t get to her anytime soon but is letting her sit there awaiting recovery,,,   Nice guy,,,) but that felt like such a cop-out: “easy choices; hard life- hard choices; easy life”   Dunno, but now I am stuck with the fact that there is a 270 mile gap between me and quite a bit of my kit.   And a truck with a locked up rear end in need of recovery.    I have an option there, one tossed to me by SoB, as mentioned in my update post yesterday.   But getting Buff back here is only the start.  

whats the trouble you ask?   Buff is a ZR5 package(read as ‘pricy’). I live in the sticks. Differential parts is heavy. and I have NEVER been able to set the crush sleeve on a pinion bearing correctly. (bastaches always howl on me.)

So, whats the problem?

Nothing really, just using the blog as a mental whiteboard and trying to figure out what I am going to do. May be a bit premature (she isn’t back here, YET) and it may end up being another thunder run to Bama to grab my gear and toss a title into Cecils hands. Dunno yet. (and I don’t want to ‘just give her away’: Even as scrap, she is worth something. Dad suggested just pulling all my shit and walking away, but that total loss of an asset ate at my craw. The balance of ” how much is recovery going to cost vs how much is she worth”, is coming into play here.)

ANywhoosss, I has to unload Da’s truck of kayaks and truck box (with all my tools, hell to the NO was I leaving that sitting in Dogsbluewonder.) get my bum down to his place and take care of things there, and maybe brainstorm towards a solution,,,

And the solution is always the one I hate the most,,,,

more money,,,,

(absolutely NOT blegging anymore,,, thanks to all of you that tossed coin my way, I will do what I can to make it up to you in whatever miniscule way I can,,, entertain you, inform you, what not,, but I will ‘pay it back AND pay it forward’ in some way.

Oh, And if ya haven’t seen, BCE’s back-up site is running. Go give him some love too.

Getting humbled

I’m usually so self-sufficient,,,

Here I am leaning on my readers and family to extract my silly butt from less than ideal conditions.

Ain’t nuthin close here.  2 shops I could find, one that doesnt work on cars anymore and the other so backlogged, he told me it would be more than a month before he could, if he could,,,,

Don’t say I can’t, ask how can I

And thats what I do/did.   Tow bill to this spot $221. Damage to rear end: to be determined.   May be simplicity or totaled, and no-way to know just yet.   Called around, and Da is headed my way to pull me and what I can stuff in his truck, back home.  Buffalo gets to sit for a couple days, until SonofBossman and I can make the trip back down here and load her up on his car hauler. That should be during this week.   (More indebtedness to him,,     I don’t like that but is what it is at this point.   Grrr. Hatez that sayin’….)

I need to bring the boats back with me as I do not trust them exposed so far away.  Da is gonna shit on that note,,,   is what it is,,,,

And for now, I sit on my tuckis and wait for the Da to make the trip here and send prayers to the small gods to not send anymore ill fate my (and his) way

Yes, you read that correctly. ,  boats, plural.   Its a damned mess I’ve gotten myself into,,,,

With all the struggle this girl has brought to me, she’s getting some greek myth name, a tragedy character name. (And no BCE, she aint gonna kill me, but she might make my life ‘interesting’ : she already HAS Dio,,,

I’m still upright n breathing. Life goes on and usually costs ya in some ways,,,, this’un sure is.


In Alabama,,, truck started whining and BANG!

Diff is locked solid. Tow is on the way but it looks like I am stuck here for a couple of days. Shop doesn’t open til monday morning.

I’m gonna toss this out there, if’n y’all could toss a coin to your blogger: It would be very much appreciated right now. I have a bit of cash on hand and some room on the card, but I’m thinking this is gonna hurt more than that.

greasy grumpy and HOT

Ball joints are DONE!!!! the old ones, yup, wore out,,, 1/32-1/16″ play, by hand motion, so ya know they were wore out completely. Rotated my tires too, since they were off and showing some wear from the worn balljoints.

Tellin’ ya,,, That job is a job that almost requires a drinking buddy. By yourself, its pretty hateful, and didn’t improve until I turn the stereo on and cranked some tunes up. (nothing like a liittle concrete blond or corrosion of conformity to get the blood pumping when you are rastlin’ truck parts into place.)

Doing an oil change now. Got the engine good and warm on the test drive and picked up the oil and filter for the change. Now I am sitting here letting all that hot oil collect in a pan: hot drains are the best for this, and she is HOT right now,,, almost couldn’t handle the drainplug,,,,(quick flick of the wrist and she hit the ground, not the drainpan,,,,)

Test drive tells me things are better, but I never really felt the loss of control until I was driving in the rain. Going over to B’s last weekend, I took the Rattlesnake and it took me about 30 minutes longer than it should, and I was white knuckling that steering wheel the whole time. (his place was the meet-up for the Pigeon River run.) Sloppy? Complete understatement. She would develop a vibration in turns like hitting the rumble strip, only; there was no rumble strip. Squealed in turns that shouldnt have chirped, and wandered around in ANY level of standing water. Really shook me up a bit. Was more than happy for that beer B handed me when I got there: just enough to knock the shakes down.

And here I am getting ready to drive 294 miles one way,,, LOL Yeah, I’s a wee bit Kray-kray.

Gotta mitigate your risks, right? Well, thats whats I’s been doin’ all day. replace the known worn, get things ready for a roadtrip, and get ME ready for a long haul tomorrow. Gonna call it an early night (on a FREEDAY, whoa, thats really kray-kray,,) and leave out before the sun gets up. Wanna be crossing the gap by then. Dude has a memorial service in the afternoon, and I don’t want to screw up his plans. At least I am ‘losing’ an hour going that way, crossing a timezone: not that it matters to me since I get it back coming back. but that should get me on site early enough that we can still hit the Tennessee river for a test drive.

more laters ya bunch of hoooligans, don’t burn down the shop, turn off the coffee pot if you leave and lock the door behind you. Make sure that Grizz and Mama can’t see the bottom of the food bowl and I will chat atcha’all tomorrows, sometime, between drives (like quick notes while fueling up.)

No problems,

only unseen solutions.        That is written on the wall at work (yeah, I wrote it there,,, whutuvit?)

and today, I opened my day with reading a delayed post by Sarah.

I am my own worst enemy.   Was trained for years at it by my second biggest naysayer,,,   My Da.   Love him to death and will ride the winds of fate to keep near him until he passes over, but it took me years to realize that much of my negativity is from him.   And I am most negative in reflection: always wondering if ‘could I have done that better’ or hesitating from lack of confidence.  Hesitation that can lead to total procrastinating failure.

I find times like now, where I see my target, my spirit DEMANDS that target, and suddenly, things ‘click’ into place and ‘target acquired’ just happens,,,,    Times like now are when I get the reputation of being a “Do-er”,  usually these things happen in the J.O.B. because my work ethic (again, straight from the Da) is made from meteoric nickel/iron alloys, heated in the heart of the sun and forged at the bottom of a 5000 mile gravity well by blackhole hammers.  The Job will be completed, period, end discussion.   Its a main reason I was so successful at the touring thing, the whole ‘the show must go on’ was not just a cliche to be spouted, it was more ‘straight from the mouth of God’ commands: literal miracles seem to just ‘happen’ to make the show.   Not real miracles mind you, but to someone outside without the technical background, they could look like magic.  (running a three phase power system using house current and three extension cords sort of stuff.  Yes, had to do that a  time or three.)

None of us perfect.  

None of us, with very few exceptions, are ‘where we want to be’. (doncha know that only fools are satisfied,)

And it took me decades to figure that shit out.   I still have my days where ‘I forget’ those particular points.   I have days where my personal hairshirt gets B to start threatening me with a beat down out back, ‘if you don’t quite talkin’bout yourself like that’.  I get that ‘stoopid hooman’ look from mama on a daily basis: how can I not when she is the ‘perfect creature; KAT’ and knows it with every ounce of her diminutive self.

In some ways, I  AM one of the ‘Where I want to be’ types.   I built my own home, went off–grid, live on my terms in a world that is NOT friendly to that, and live by Professor de la Paz doctrine; ignoring those laws that I find annoying, and obeying the ones that least inhibit me.  On those observations, I am as successful as can be.   I will be envied by some that see (as Sarah states, from 100′ up) the world I have built for myself, not seeing the internal strifes that continue to plague me,,,,     My position in life is due to that negativity that my Da instilled in me, not despite it.

That knowledge is a very sharp, atomic level sharp razor that cuts deep.   Knowing that my negative side, which I despise (circular logic downwards spiral type thinking) is also the foundation that built me to ‘here’ (slow crawl upward spiral growth) 

YIN and YANG.   but there is no black and white, just varied shades of grey along the path of life: my darker times even come back to my brain as if in dimmer light, under storm cloud light, My good times always seem brighter, spring weather sunshining bees buzzing and daffodils blooming light.     I know its a trick of the brain, but,,,,

There are no problems, just unseen solutions.   A door closes, a window opens.  LIFE GOES ON.

Go Live It.  

That is my goal this weekend, not just ‘getting a boat’.   Will I have regrets about it?  Already do.  That negative side is telling me ‘you don’t need to spend that money!’, but the brighter side of me is saying ‘It’s ONLY money, and you can’t take it with you’, and the pragmatic side is saying, ‘Money is becoming worthless, that boat will hold some sort of value when the dollars spent on it are mere toilet paper.’   Those are the words of my mentors, My Da, My grans, a handful of my teachers,,,   Those words became the me I am today, and while I may not enjoy the lessons taught, I have to give the credit where due.  We ride on the shoulders of giants, make sure those that ride on yours get the right lessons.

EoD tursday,,

WP delenda est,,,,

TWO entire paragraphs just went POOF!!! dagnabbit,,,,

Ball joints in hand, and tomorrow is dedicated to Buffalo. Weather is not a factor as if the sky is crying, I move our sorry butts down there and use his basement. Otherwise, its under the carport, same as when I did the idler arm and pitman arm a couple weeks back.

Did you know there is a company making rack and pinion replacements for the S10 quadralateral steering system? I didn’t either,,, But I thought it kinda cool. Would love to eliminate several weak links in a high demand system. But that sort of price is for someone that is really tweaking the hell ouf of a racer,,, Not little old Dio and his, we’ll call it ‘Frugal’ this time out, self. Yeah, that sounds a whole lot better than ‘tight assed cheap-meister” LOL. I definitely miss the Rack and pinion of my Fiats. Easiest FEA EVER!!!! Took longer to set the machine up and run the swings than it took to make the adjustments. Could have done it with a broomstick and a string. Buffalo,,, not so much,,,, Can be done, have seen it done, but NOT in my gravel driveway. That needs a GOOD FLAT concrete floor to play that game.

ALL the cash in hand for boat buying on saturday. Talked to Seller for about an hour last night, and we are going for a ‘test drive’ on the Tennessee river (depending on how beat the f up I am from driving five hours one way. Its seven to my sis’s and I usually do that ‘straight through’ other than fuel and hyrdraulic releases. I figure I would be good for a half hour paddle. So my prediction of ‘dry Dio weekend’ was premature,,, STOKED is what I am right now.

Gotz to get the four-feets situatied right now and some other things about the place since tomorrow is grubby wrench on wore out chevy day,,,,

more laters,,,,,,

Humpday, good day, good news (for me)

Imagonna go get a boat!!!!

Broke down, talked to bossman, got an advance, divvied up over a month for payback.   I has my cash for the ‘new to me’ boat.  SOOooooosssss,,,  This weekend is roadtrip time,,,  5 hours one way,,,  oooffffff!

Early start to the day, and we threw everyone at this job and were wrapped up by 1:30.  Bossman took us all to a restaurant for ‘supper'(I’m still getting used to the southern thing of dinner and supper and sometimes get them backwards,,,.).   I’m guessing that we cut his labor cost in half compared to his estimate,,,  Dunno, but usually a dinner stop is a rarity unless we have been gone all day and the daylight is slipping away.

Feeling a might giddy right now.   Knowing that I can pick up the boat this weekend,,,   Leaving Lizzy up for sale, but not desperate to do so, and if she is still here in August, she is my race boat for the SKAW.   Did a lot of soul searching before posting her for sale, and finally boiled it down to ‘FIT’, as in, she really doesn’t fit me.  Its that damnable ocean cockpit that scrapes my upper thighs on exit, and that none of my gear fits in her hatches without a serious fight (if at all).   Great boat, but not for me.  (sorry mom, I know you tried to hook me up from beyond,,,)

As one commenter/reviewer over at stated, “she’s stable when in motion, and will inspire confidence,,, Until you stop moving; then she wants to get your hair wet.”   YUP! can totally agree with that statement,,,   Another mentions that she requires being loaded (she is expedition rated,,,) but how the hell do you load a boat when you can’t get your gear into the holds???

Yeah,  put her up for sale and let her move in her own time.   She has a good home here, even if she doesn’t see water as much as some other boat (BlueJean coff coff. ROFL),,   And if I get (when I get) this new to me boat, there are going to be snarl fests between BJ and it for a time,,, (no name yet,,,  Gotta get her out and feel what her character says she will be called, unless the previous owner gave her a name,,,  that whole changing the escutcheons thing,,, bad mojo,,,)  

But it looks like it may be a dry Dio weekend: runnin’round the country chasing boats: spending money he shouldn’t for things he doesn’t really need, not much time for water fun.   Fuggit!!!  Life is short, and if you can’t enjoy being alive, whats the point, right?   And it’s not like I can’t take an evening paddle somewhere between weekends,,,,  (thought about it today, but shaving my weeds so I am free for the weekend seemed a better plan.  Yup, even this footloose and fancy-free Bachelor has moments of responsibility that invade,,,,)

Get out, live life, do NOT let the bastards win in that way….  That we keep living our lives pisses them off to no end, they want that level of control over us, as Francis has been pointing out the last couple of days.   Not that any of what he talks about will surprise any of my readers, but do go read and think on implications of some of the details of his posts.   (and those posts are one reason for pushing to get a quality composite boat that I LIKE,,,    May have need of it in other ways.)

Nuthin’ much to say,,,

Sarah is putting up good stuff, BCE’s site was nuked, not sure of details,,, Will touch base soon to get some info on that.

and not much to say,,, The slide seems to be accelerating, seeing that the Fed is doing a test run of digital currency with help from several financial firms, to inclued MasterCard,,, A 12 week pilot program they call it,,, Get ready to move your assets if you haven’t already: the dollar is about go POOF!!!

Fuggit,,, Early day tomorrow, still have to live a life, and I am so focused on getting another kayak, I find I just don’t give a rat’s ass.

Don’t wanna say ‘Let it burn’,,, but,,,

And its all good, as Sarah states, the truth doesn’t need exposed, the lies are so blatant in in your face, the truths are obvious. What DOES need done, is that we don’t let up on the way we deliver truth. People are waking up, and eventually, the sluggish start of turning things around will accelerate, the same way the decline is/has.

Wanna see homeschooling in action? Go to any chinese restraunt and check out the kids doing their studies near sight of the front counter. I promise you, the books they are working on are not issued by the local Indoctrination center. WE, Ameri-CANS need to be doing that sort of thing with our littles. THAT is how you secure their future; not by farming it out to some group that is showing in deeds, actions and words, that they HATE us and our way of life.

mehbe I did have a little sumpin to say, huh?

Early day tomorrow, that means out of town and all day broiling under the sun (and it pissed down rain across the state so we will be parbroiled,,,)

but that means more duckies towards ‘new to me’ boat,,, and I REALLY RILLY want this boat. Hull design similar to Blue Jean, Fiberglass like Lizzy, but 20# lighter than either of them. Top deck very similar to that Necky I just cut up, so lay backs should be a breeze. (note, the cockpit of the ARC is set up similar to both boats (necky and tempest) and I can lay back in that boat too, BUT, with such a short stern, things get squirelly if I do.)

some things that need attended to before I can make that roadtrip though. Ball joints on Buffalo most desperately need replaced. They are enroute now, should be here Thursday, and I can have them on by Freeday. and of course, that whole money thing,,, And I am itching to fix my kayakaddiction, so time seemingly is draggin’ right now,,,