Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it – no matter if I have said it! – except it agree with your own reason and your own common sense.” – Siddhartha Gautama, a.k.a. the Buddha

This too shall pass, right?

Yay, Four day weekend!!!!!

NOT!

Long story, but plans that were made back during the early parts of summer (say three months back) have been hulled below the waterline by Bossman.

IF, I don’t use that lever of mine and tell him to FOADIAF.

He “generously, gave us” Monday the fourth off, (without pay,,,) but to make our hours back up, we get to work that following Friday. Umhmmm,,, Well, I had made plans to be at the camp on Thursday eve, since we have been working Mon-Thurs the last month, and have two full days/three nights with friends, and NOT have to inconvenience the work environment.

NOT SO MUCH NOW.

To say that the last month or so, my frustration with the J.O.B. has started stripping out any benefit I receive in Monetary compensation. I fought tooth and nail with myself the last week, maybe two weeks, to get up and go in.

And the key point is this one.

Proxy image

And when you find out, inadvertently, that said person makes the same rate as you,,,,

As happened Thursday evening, on my way out,,,

Makes me think that I may be taking a Vaca week, without warning, and spending some quality time getting my head in order, and damn the finances for a bit.

Maybe this is the nudge I need to get off my ass and walk away permanently from a VERY Toxic relationship/Job.

Is the timing optimal? Hell no! Is it EVER?

But one thing I am is resilient,

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

ROAD SIGN, SHIFTING LANES AHEAD.

Sat on the porch yesterday as I was tapping that out, dusk coming down fast, and suddenly Mama-kats’ ears perked up and she was all attention towards Unc’s garden. First glance all I see are the usual 5 rabbits playing and eating my yard/weeds. (I really need to mow that section, but I like watching the bunnies,,,). Well, that wasn’t it, Mama never gives the Buns a moment of attention (with the exception of that one she tried to adopt 2 years back.) OOOHHHH!! Now I see it. Ear flicks from the bean patch; Three Doe wandering through the garden. Unc is on vaca in Floriduh and that section of our little hollar has been VERY quiet the last week, AND, my Cuz moving into the hollar on the other side of me has created a disruption in their usual pathways.

While I like watching them, what I thought was “well, I know when things get tight, where dinner is coming from”. Between Thumper and Bambi, the kids n I are not going to starve, but gonna have to be a stealthy hunter and keep the bangy bangs subdued.

It’s funny, I have a dog for security, but its Mama-kat that always warns me when wildlife is on the move. The first time she did that ear perk thing from the porch was when the Bear was eating up the corn patch, and she went all growly about that one. Voo? notsomuch,,, Even with the breeze blowing bear stink his way, the most noize he made was a snore. Great security eh? LOL. Love the mutt, but other than companionship, he is about the most worthless,,,,,

Today, to get rid of some of my stress from the opening subject, I did my usual therapy: I Went kayaking. Did some exercises I picked up from “Dancing with the Sea” and while I am still shaky on that whole edging thing, I did see improvement. Just have to keep at it. Will say that my confidence in waves is better, and not just because of the exercises, but because of a boat that was designed for that stuff. Blue Jean is one hella boat and I would be even more ecstatic about her if she weighed 30# LESS. She runs right at 70# empty, which means nothing much ON the water, but that transition between transport and the waters edge is beastly. And most of my put-ins are not at boat ramps where I can use a dolly/cart.

I was out in a shallow spot, wedged between two spits, the water is only 3′ deep and its along a route to a wider area that the power boaters love to get to, usually bow up making lots of noise and waves. Well, those waves focus into that little bay and being shallow, the waves even whitecap. I sat out there, about 100′ from the shore, and those waves were hitting me from all directions and I never once felt ‘tippy’. Mostly the boat, but there was that ‘paddle’ thing Paulo talks about in his course, and it DID change the game. One set of waves washed my decks off, from the side, and I never wobbled.

I paddled back to my put in with a shit eating grin on my face.

Im knee deep in water, to show how shallow this part is.

I love this boat!!!

I have some serious thinking about what I want moving forward, and there is a set of ears I need to borrow, real soon. Some things just don’t translate well in blogging and when you need to bounce ideas off someone else, blogging lacks.

(and a lot of this transition thing with the J.O.B. is why I have been dropping the ball with the world at large. I have to live my life as best I can, and right now, I feel like that has been way more difficult than it should be, and NOT because of the inflation hitting us sideways. No, this is at the spiritual level and I need fix that before I can ‘fix’ the world, if ya know what I mean.)

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2 responses

  1. dirtroadlivin

    “No, this is at the spiritual level and I need fix that before I can ‘fix’ the world, if ya know what I mean”. Know exactly what you mean. The struggle is real as they say. I have to remember for me, it’s kinda like wandering through the forest hungry. There are some trees/bushes with fruit in there if I observe and actually see it. Sometimes all I see is forest. Progress not perfection.

    Liked by 1 person

    July 2, 2022 at 6:36 am

    • One of my favorite sayings: “No problems, just unseen solutions.”
      Like you say, I just have to observe. And find the karmic balance of my responsibilities towards said workplace, and what is my responsibility vs their self inflicted wounds.

      Like

      July 2, 2022 at 6:52 am

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