Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it – no matter if I have said it! – except it agree with your own reason and your own common sense.” – Siddhartha Gautama, a.k.a. the Buddha

yeah, I skipped out yesterday

Get over it: I did.  

‘Sides, I was a hot stinkin’ mess when I got in and the absolute last thing I wanted to do was fire up a hot Mac and have it sitting in my lap,,,

Today wasn’t nearly as bad, THOOOUUUUGHHHHH,,,,,   I do stink to high heaven since some animal decided to drop dead in my shop “Somewheressss” and while it stinks for all get out, I cannot find it.   Hot shop, sweaty hoo-man, Stink of the dead, and guess what? You get to WEAR IT!!!! until such time as you can hose it off.

Yeah, pleasantries all around,,,   UGH!

(so today, you get to go all over the place with me in my wee little cranium and its bouncing off the walls journey,,,)

Couple little thoughts as my day wore on.   
If I would spend half of the time I spend on improving my roll as I do Improving Revenue Generation for the J.O.B., I would have that shit down PAT in a week.   So, Thats whats on my agenda this weekend,   Taking a swim last weekend offended me more than hurt my pride, seeing how I do have a roll.  It wasn’t like I was panicked or anything, I just bailed out as first course, instead of following through with my training (or lack thereof obviously.).  (and those damned pesky shoes, yet again, hung up and made bailing out ‘tricky’.    There is a reason I am a barefoot paddler 99 outta 100 trips.   Never expected the ARC to be a shoe thief.). Now, big trick here is to NOT induce bad habits.   Slow and methodical, and get used to the upside down aspect.  Spend a few seconds talking to the fish before going into set-up.   AND, don’t get stuck in one rut; both sides strong and offside, both backwards sweep and forwards sweeps.   Want to work on a roll that has several names depending on who/what style boater you are talking to.   Screw-roll, storm roll, combat roll.   its actually the same roll and uses the same ‘set up’ (IE Not much)  and is highly effective.   Surf paddlers call it the Turtle roll since they use it to ‘dive’ beneath oncoming waves to get past the worst of the breaking surf and out to the swells.  So that is one I really want to work on, but I think I am going to do an entire day of static set ups just to get my muscle memory built up good and solid. (the storm roll is while in motion, not sitting still, so it adds some complexity to things.   And when are you most likely to capsize?  while on the move,,,)(to be honest, that isn’t entirely true.  the most likely time for a capsize is either getting in the boat or getting out of the boat, but you aren’t going to be worried about rolling up at either time, since you are just going to be sitting in the water looking mighty embarrassed.)

Some other things on my mind.   Thinking about the work thingy,,,   To be completely honest, the only reason I am still where I am is a matter of convenience. and a certain amount of practicality.   I am pretty much my ‘own boss’ as I am rarely given priorities on projects, unless there is something pressing that came up,,,    The only way I am not my own boss is that I am not the deciding factor on my pay rate, but I am the deciding factor in my hours.   BUT, even there, they know that I am not going to milk the clock for extra pay: my work ethic is VERY strong, and my hatred of thieves even stronger (and milking the clock is theft in my book.). Of all the projects I do, easily 75% are of my design.  Like the dog kennels I build for a local ‘shed maker’: Totally my design based on his requirements (fitting to size mostly.   The dog bowl racks I make for them are his request, my solution.). And I do take Pride in that work.   I am just glad to see that Bossman FINALLY paid attention to the fact that he was losing his ass on these things and bumped the price up.  Only took him 5 years.   (he flat told me that the only reason he accepted the danged project was to keep me busy so I would be around when they really needed my skills.  MY counter point to that was “but you don’t have to GIVE my skills away for free!!!  Make some damned profit at it too.”). As for the practical side, its close as hell.  I can walk there in less than 15 minutes if need be.  Its close to home so I can be close to Da.   I can take off pretty much as needed with no repercussions (other than less income, a given I reckon since I am not working,,,) and will always have a job so long as I WANT IT.   Ok, that out of the way, whats eating at me is “I’M BORED TO TEARS AT IT!!!”   

How do I fix that,,,,      I’m working on it.    Dunno what the solution is, but there is one; I just hasn’t found it yet.


Sorry y’all, but thats my take on it.  I have never stuck with a job that became cumbersome to my spirit, this being the first time and for reasons out of my control (Da wanting to live here in the hollar).  

As for the world at large, the FRAUD can go to hell in a handbasket (and they are showing serious effort at it, problem being they want to take us along too,,,).  BCE is having some issues on his end; also out of his control (if he wants to stay a freeman that is,,,) so you may want to keep an eye his way in case he needs some assist of some sort.   He usually holds a raffle for those not familiar with his site, so its not like he is a begging welfare case.   I wish I were in a better frame, financially, to send help.  Is what it is, right?  Well, I have some ideas on that end as well.    I keep sayin’ that but haven’t shown it yet: not to worry, I just have to get over the hump of “do something” and make a decision that sticks.  The last month has been rough on that end with the bout of depression I was under.   

Life goes on.  Even when life ends for one, there are others to pick up the torch along the way.   I know there are families in Eastern KY that are having a hard time of it right now.   Flash flooding wiped out entire sections of Perry Co (y’all know it as Hazard KY, and its outliers.   Not the Hazard from Dukes of Hazard either.  Saw a pic online (can’t find it or I’d post it) of a car forced through a culvert.  They received almost 10″ of rain in less than 24 hours.   Creeks had to go somewhere and there are creeks in every valley, and I am sure with that much rain, there were creeks where there hadn’t been a creek in decades.   All of this on the tail end of two weeks of wet weather so the ground was already saturated.  

Betcha Ol’ Slo-Jo and company won’t even lift a niggardly finger to help these peeps, despite the fact that traitor Turtle-boy is from this state,,,    I know I haven’t seen or heard much out of National Media on it.   Why bother talking about some ‘backwater hillbilly place’ getting wiped out when we have a WOKE TransFREAK at the Department of Nuke energy,,,,

Besides, there wouldn’t be a 10% kickback to the “Big Guy” like they get sending hundreds of billions to the Ukes/Krainefeld.    Let the rubes rot in their hollars: not like the voted for Xi-den anyways, right?

Do I sound bitter?  

More like convinced I think.  After the last few years, and the slow filtering of the truth of just how whacked the FedGuv is,,,   yeah,  I would be more surprised if they had actually done something in the same time spread that they gave Bush1 shit for with Katrina: IE a day late and a dollar short.   What is not surprising is that there is more being done on the local level (as it SHOULD BE) by individuals that are probably scraping by themselves.  

Tell me again why we NEED a fedguv that doesn’t do one thing listed as its job (and does everything it can to make sure it can’t do that job,,,  Protect the borders and national interests.  NATIONAL interests, not the interests of those 535 seat warmers in the swamp,,,,)

Myths.   That last brought up that thought line.   Myths and how everyday people keep touting on the same old myths.  Like “Public Safety”.   This is a total myth in my book.   You go out in the world everyday and take your life in your own hands to do so.  You never know when/if/how/etc, but there is a chance you won’t come home at the end of the day.  Its YOUR responsibility to mitigate those risks, by being a courteous driver, not doing stupid stuff, etc: but the risks are still there.  The public in general, in times long forgotten, would ‘hire’ someone to help secure some of those risks.   But these days, our ‘protectors’ have been told they DO NOT HAVE A REQUIREMENT TO PROTECT THE PUBLIC.   Say-wha?!?!,,,,    In the Gun Culture, the saying “when seconds count, a cop is minutes away”, only that didn’t apply at Uvalde, did it?   Public Safety is a MYTH that is used to sell bullshit to the masses in a feel-good way, with little to no actual ‘safety’ involved.   And its REALLY BIG business.   Enough that First Responders are getting their own Cellular net-work.  (( I can see this as a bonus for the Volunteer FD’s and EMT’s, but LEO’s????   Don’t they already have a ‘network’ that is also encrypted in many places and that network was built using TAX MONEY from the peeps they no longer have to protect????    You see why I call it a myth????))(side note, Larken Rose wrote a book on that very thing, with his myth being “The STATE”, and his arguments are quite thorough.)

You know, I am glad as hell I was raised before they really started chemically treating “Odds”.  Ya-see, I would (and could still be classified as ADHD.   with emphasis on the Hyperactive.   Which is funny as all get out as I am also an introvert.   For a quick example, I direct your attention some music that helps me focus while I am work (at work and at home,,,,)

and another, same band

anywhoos, I was thinking about ‘my music’ at work and what keeps me focused and cool operating, and comparing it to kayaking. (realize that I am making custom welded structures, while singing AND thinking silly things like I am about to describe)  I get uptight in calm water, but chill out like a cucumber when the waves get up or the current gets moving.   B has seen it before on the Khorn.   even this last weekend, until I got a ‘head change’ from slamming back two beers on an empty stomach, most of my anxiety was during the ‘float’ part of things.   It led to me being tense in the heavier stuff and that started things to getting worse.  Once I was able to ‘relax’, then things started getting fun on the boogie water and tolerable on the slow as shit spells inbetween.   Like the time on the Khorn when I bounced off a rock and got turned sideways and half capsized in the current, pinned to said rock:  Never freaked out, just another day at the office and things aren’t going as planned,,,, Work the situation at hand,,,   Its when things are slow and humdrum that my mind starts turning on itself.    

When I was way little, first grade I believe (it was before our house burned down, reference for sis.,,,) I had a recurring dream that left me in cold sweats and full of dread.   It was the most benign dream too.  In a jeep crossing the desert, yet everything was moving as if in cold molasses and I couldn’t slow down my thinking to match,,,   It makes no sense describing it in words, because the feelings don’t translate well, but I can say that dream NEVER WENT AWAY, and I can still call up the dread just by thinking of it.   Almost as if I were in the know of some horrible event upcoming and because everything was mired in slow-time, I could do nothing to stop it.   (and no, sis, this is not the dream from Catalpa, those I don’t recall much at all other than the one I did talk to you about.)

ANywhoooss,,,, I have a couple shots in me, relaxed, cooling evening spreading out around my stead, and sleepy kats n mutt on porch.  But the no-see-ums n skeeters are out and about and its about time to head in for the night.  (that means my hot-spot doesn’t work as well.)

Y’all take care tonight and I’ll see what I can drum up tomorrow, maybe before I head out with Kayak, or if not, later in the evening, like tonight.

One response

  1. bigcountryexpat

    Much Love Jarhead… many thanks… I swear I’ma gonna start a Counter on the sidebar that sez “Days Since Last Incident” and start the count when things stabilize… Fucking hate being ‘that guy’ or a ‘mortar magnet’… it gets old.

    Liked by 1 person

    August 4, 2022 at 7:16 pm

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