Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it – no matter if I have said it! – except it agree with your own reason and your own common sense.” – Siddhartha Gautama, a.k.a. the Buddha

Arrogant/confidence

Answered in a person’s perspective I guess. 

I’ve been labeled “that arrogant prick” in a job or two, and I always hear about it and question my actions to see if I was being arrogant or just confident in my abilities.  Its most always the latter, but I do see how someone without a working knowledge of me and my background would misplace perspective here. 

I’ve done many many things in my life.  After visiting hell in the blackened sands under the black noonday clouds in the Kuwaiti desert while feeling my guts in turmoil from a chlorine overdose (Thanks Doc, I still owe you for that’un!!!), I decided I was going to live to my fullest and to hell with all the naysayers. (I wrote about this before, it was not pleasant,,,)

Since then, it has never been a question of ‘can I?’, its more the question of ‘why not? I’ll have fun or die trying.’

Yes, there is still that little smirking voice in the hind brain telling me all sorts of negative shit, we all have it, and I think its very much a part of the monkey left in us, but there are ways to shut it down.  Over at ATH I was reading and wanting the crow at the top of my lungs, a giant HOORAH!!! for her efforts.  She covers some of the ways to shut that little voice down, but the one that ALWAYS works for me is joining forces with another who is ‘above me’ in skill sets.   Like when I tackled the Cumberland Lake with D when the Ohio Navy was in town.  I was out of my League in this instance but kept saying (to him, AND me) “keep going, I gotta push my limits or I don’t grow.”  By the time we had hit our turn around, I was ‘there’ and the return trip was anti-climactic; enough so that I started playing with surfing some of those rollers.

Similar is going on with learning white water kayaking.   Teaming up (or trying to) with others that are into it and better than I so I can push my envelopes.  B is one of them, and a small handful of others (and sadly, schedules and surgeries are seriously conflicting and I haven’t made much headway)(not ‘my’ surgeries, just to clarify.) Weather hasn’t helped mych either.    And yes, I will end up going to a clinic or some WW school near by (a state away) because I am not one to scrimp on paying for education (but I am damned picky about instructors!)  It may take some time for me to get to a point where I go that route, but I usually do.

Arrogant? Considering I am an introvert,,,,   yes, I can be extroverted at times, and then there are (many many more) times where I am the silent one on the group absorbing, processing, and even “keeping my trap shut because my opinion is gonna offend”. 

Something bossman pointed out was that when I am teaching, I get excited and extroverted as all get out.  Ya think!?!?! But to get the attention of so many students can be difficult when they “know it all”.  Hell, I know I DON’T  know it all.  And the more I learn the more I realize there us even more TO LEARN.   Its humbling to me.  I’m no expert in any one ‘thing’ but I have had my hands in a shit-ton of stuff.  (and yes, I know at one point in my life, I thought I had all the answers. Gawd what a fool I was. I think it goes hand and hand with high hormone levels to. But I digress,,)

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