Aftermath (speculative short story)

“Stumbled my way on the darkest afternoon,

doo, doo-dee-doo

Got a beer in my hand and I’m draggin’ a stogie too

bud-budda-bud-bud.

The back of my brain is tickin’ like a clock,

boo-da-dee-doo-doo

I simmer down gently but boil on ‘what the fuck?: “¹

Never said I was the greatest singer, but in this sun, scratchin’ out the lines of beans I’m planting; singing makes it go by so much faster. Gotta make our own music now, and it is just me out in this field today.

Who knows what year it is, I lost track a few seasons back. After things went to shit in the 2020 joke of an absentee election cycle, put in place by the countries new ‘Coronaphobia’, people like me retreated to the hills and never looked back. Even my democrat friends knew something was wrong when Biden took the election with 480 electoral college votes. They had written in for Bernie. Not sure what the hell they were thinking but even Bernie was looking like a better bet than Smokin’ Joe Biden. Smokin’ ’cause thats what bearings do when they run without lube for so long under so much pressure.

Then they inaugurated the senile ol groper. Two days later he had an aneurysm in the Oval Office. Interim President Obama, Michelle, not Barry, then nominated Hillary for Vice.

By April, it was chaos. Barry killed Michelle in a ‘pique of passion’ and HRC became the new President of the United States. Every swinging dick on asphalt in the world KNEW that Barry hadn’t killed O. Who had was never answered, and Barry burned in the chair before appeals could be ran, despite his being a former president himself. The Clinton death list had gained a couple new members. And some I know say that Bidens death was on that list as well.

But don’t none of it matter. America was sold off piece meal to the Chinese, the Russians, South African conglomerates: whoever could pay the geld.

“Rule of Law”? Ayah! That’s just a fairy tale these days. Hell, If I get caught growing these beans, they’ll shoot me on sight, plow me under for the fertilizer and harvest them come August for themselves. Of course they would have some political prisoner or two working the rows until, then plow them under for the next batch next year. Not the beans, the prisoners. That’s what America turned into when Queen Clinton enthroned herself. Heck, some don’t believe she is even alive anymore. That they use Computer Graphics to piece together news feeds of her talking, and that its actually Soros doing the driving up there. That he is still alive is amazing too. I guess with all that money, he can afford some radical age stopping treatments, like total blood replacement from young children or some-such,,,

It’s easier out here in what was once the Daniel Boone National Forest. It’s hard to get to where my group is, and with the old fire tower, we have a chance of seeing incoming further out. Used to be that we were scared of the drones looking for us, but a few older Ranger types coming here told us that they can’t keep the drones airborne now. No good pilots, no Techs to keep them working and they don’t trust the pilots they can get to not use the drone as weapon against them. At first I was afraid of the Rangers coming here. Thought that they were looking for us. One of them told me that this section of the woods was once used as a training area for Army Rangers and they all know the area well. If we see them now, they are definitely on our side, and by God, the amount of shit they know,,,

And they bring some really nice toys with them.

I don’t figure I will live to see all of this wrapped up, Ghost said people started fighting in the cities shortly after ‘Her Majesty’ took over, suspended congress and SCOTUS, eviscerated what was left of the Constitution and had every State Governor not on board with her, arrested for pedophilia or drug running or money laundering. The fighting didn’t last long. Just like in Medieval times, siege was a waiting game, shut off essentials like water and food, the people on the inside fold or fail in pretty quick order. Ghost told me some of what he saw before he packed his shit and left. Hollywood couldn’t write the level of horror he had seen.

That was at least a year ago. He still has spells where he just sits and looks at nothing, seeing the back of his head is what he says.

Maybe this batch of beans will keep us going for another 10 months or so. We have enough, but I sure do miss a bigmac these days. Beef just doesn’t happen much and venison is so damned lean. Funny, how all those things we were told were so bad for us, are now essential to good health and avoiding things Beri-Beri. That affliction hadn’t been seen in the US since before the great depression. Its hovers around us now.

“well, Old Mr. Heffer
I’m really pleased to meet you
I didn’t mean to scare your blue-eyed child
but Billy wouldn’t talk to me
and Susie wouldn’t look at me
it made me so doggone crazy
I had to chase them for a mile
all wanted was change for a buck “

Now for the stinky part. Gerry brought me up a load of old carp and I’m giving each plant it’s own fish. Two quarts of honey for 50 dead fish. We’ll have Mead by this time next month, and soon a whole ton of beans. Just a bunch of crazy Deplorables running around drunk and farting in the woods, scaring off all “her Majesties” hired help from third world countries..

Well I’m back and I’m feelin’ good tonight
yea I’m back and I’m feelin’ right
so get back ’cause I’m feelin’ right
Jesus! “

1Four Non-Blondes, Ol’ Mr Heffer.

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