Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it – no matter if I have said it! – except it agree with your own reason and your own common sense.” – Siddhartha Gautama, a.k.a. the Buddha

No man is an island

We’ve all heard it before, and several of us have even stated such, but I am (re-)learning a new aspect of that clichè.

My short time away from the job has been beneficial and enlightening.  It also has been a tad expensive, though the money spent was on projects that needed done.  No regrets, those projects will add longevity to my property. Thats the benefit side.  The enlightening side was my realization on losing my focus.  I got lax in my efforts of forward momentum, and I have goals that haven’t been worked on, or towards, for well over a year.  The lack of income now precludes any forward motion.  Its almost a paradox: I need the income to make movement, but I am so worn out earning that income, I havent the energy to keep moving.  I need to find a balance point, and right now I have that opportunity to do so. (And yeah, you could say ‘thats just an excuse’ and wouldn’t be far off.  But my health was taking a hit and thats not an excuse.  I was lazy in the fact that I knew it and did nothing to change the situation, and that led to my wearing myself out.  Its a downward spiral, that I am braking and attempting to reverse now.)

Another aspect of the clichè is in thoughts.  When you isolate yourself, there are times where your thoughts are your worst enemy.  This can be both in the destructive form, and in the exaggerated form.  You can rip yourself to shreds or build lofty goals with no foundation, and either can set up a positive feedback that shuts down the positive motions in place.(It may seem I am rambling, but my thinking is a might scattered right now.) 

I am a simple man.  I don’t want all the hype of a complicated world.  I had that back before my personal TEOTWAWKI in 2008. What i do want is simple as well: a place where I can live comfortably (even if it requires effort to keep the comforts, like splitting wood and the like) and a shop where I can work on whatever project comes along.  I have a majority of the tools for said shop, and can make what I don’t have as needed (the advantage of the lathe and foundry) but without a sheltered workspace,,,

I beg your pardon for this post; I am using it for now, more to get my thoughts in my head straight.  We can think all day long, but until the words are spoken, or written out, they are ephemeral and fleeting.  And sometimes, they need to be in such a form that others can kick ’em around some too.  It may not be pretty, but if we all were operating in a bubble, we wouldn’t improve very much.  Thats the other side (downside) of that damned clichè.  

There is one thing I have always found about myself.  When the money is tight (vaporous) is when I find the best of solutions.  When I have ready capitol, I can get thing’s done, but I seem to work and learn best when I have to stretch that last dime across weeks and months.  Its not a comfortable place, but those comfortable places tend to make me lazy.(as previously noted)

Alright, I know this post is frivolous and silly, but I have to thank y’all for listening anyway.  I have some focus again.

Addendum: when I worked in audio, we used to say, you may have to turn something down to turn up the mix.  Thats where my focus is right now.  What do I need to turn down, so I can turn up?


2 responses

  1. Call T. Don

    The exaggerated and destructive form of thought always seem to come before the self reflective and realigning part of thought for me. If I’m not alone with the first part….and patient with the first part, I can’t seem to get to the second most important thoughts and direction.

    The “work”/energy balance is one that will always require us to maintain for sure….”work” is ever constant in its pull for more and more of our energies. I refer to “work” in the context of a job or other talent for money trading. Work in its totally physical form is, in contrast, something that ultimate adds to the equation on our side in many forms.

    Just opinion,… but without knowing any more than following you on here, it doesn’t seem like lazy would describe you. Just a bad balance in the trading. We all only get so much time, talent, and energy that we can enjoy or sell. I’m still not happy with all my choices but I’m learning to spend those just like money. Very carefully and i want something good for it for me and mine.

    Oh, and thanks, its got me re-tracked just thinking about it.

    April 18, 2017 at 11:43 am

    • Glad it helped, it managed to get me straight, even if I didnt really say what my hangup was. Its funny how things have a certain synchronicity in this world.

      April 18, 2017 at 12:12 pm

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