To fill in the blanks
For the record, “Motivations” was designed as a trap, and an eye opener. For the first part of that, I am happy to say, it worked quite well. For the second part, Well, ‘There Ain’t No Justice’. Part of that was my not accounting for the targets to play the victim card so well. I underestimated them in that regard and due to that, I relinquish the field.
But not without placing my own words in the public sphere. I am not going to carry this fight forward seeing how those that wish my efforts ill, won’t listen to logic, reason or honesty. Those are the only weapons I have to use in this case, therefore, no chance of winning, nor is there a chance that I could hold my own. I have kept my side to a small sphere, trying to keep the peace until recent. I know that the story isn’t complete, when viewing just one side, and to date, really only one side has been seen. I am also quite aware of the ‘three sides to every story’ analogy. I now present ‘my side’ and I leave it to those that have been following this to come up with the third side; “the Truth”.
First let me describe to you my world as of November 2011. I had been laid-off in late October. Looking for work and collecting unemployment. Not much to go ’round in the financial department. The Patcom Idea was born of TL’s Summit call. I had a running dialogue with Nye at that time, not online, but by phone. I had mentioned I would like to attend but finances wouldn’t allow it. Nye offered to send me a round-trip ticket so that I could attend, stating that my opinions and ideas would be greatly appreciated. Seeing how I don’t fly anymore, that whole TSA thing (and one reason I won’t do the touring thing anymore, but not the only reason; my hearing being the other.) I said I would rather drive. So travel money was sent to me (one way, the rest to be given at site. Understood, “you don’t really know me and I could skip out” was what I recall saying to Nye at that time. Note: most all conversations were by phone or text, I don’t record conversations, and the texts from that time have long since been deleted.) I don’t recall the exact figure that was finally passed to me, but I can say, while sizable, it was not enough to cover my travel. I had to dip into my personal finances to cover the trip completely. And never did I bitch about that fact. I felt I was doing something good for the community, something that needed done, no matter the costs.
While at that event, I offered to be the liaison/representative at the Summit. My reason being, I was unemployed, had no anchors like family at home, and lived closer to the event. I also have no need for hotels, staying in the SUV, keeping travel costs down there as well. I was ‘elected’ by the core group to fulfill that role. I do not recall any ‘election’ but I figured my offering was considered my vote, so wasn’t asked. I was informed of “election results” in group (Self, Nye, Cavanaugh, Wonderdog, and Pickdog) and the goals of what I was to accomplish were roughly hammered out at that time. Representative to the Summit was primary, delivering what information we had discussed in group to the Summit. Secondary was as Representative to any Patcom I was to attend, and support to be provided if available and as needed, to be determined by the treasurer (Cavanaugh)
I left that event feeling like I had met lifelong friends and like minded people. Not one of us was happy in leaving, and I recall a few tears from some as well.
Upon returning home, I took the time for my opinions and observations (an after action report) and continued trying to promote through the blog other Patcoms. Roughly a month later, Cavanaugh laid plans for his Coastal Patcom. Again, I was offered travel money to attend. Again, I had to dip into my own money to make the trip; again, no complaints, just stating the fact. While there, it was again decided that I would continue to carry the flame for Texas. There was a raffle set up, but so few attended that the items donated were boxed up and sent with me to carry to China’s event in Indiana. Again, because I was closest. At the end of the event, There was a mechanical break down: Wonderdogs truck puked an alternator, and much of the money went to buying him a new one. I helped install that alternator as well. Yes, I wanted travel money, but I was not so friggin self centered to leave a man stranded on the beach due to it. It should go without saying that I would have been stranded myself if I hadn’t received any travel money as promised. (I was deep into my savings at that point, even having to sell silver coins to make the difference to get home.) I even had to get somewhere to hole up for a few days for the check to clear, both the donation, and the unemployment payment. Yes, I was strapped that tightly then, and still no bitching about it.
I have read a version of what happened there from another person. The recipient of that mail forwarded it to me and asked if I was as confused as he was. We both were there, we both ate sandy food, we both received busted knuckles putting in that alternator, and we are both bothered by someone elses take on the event. I won’t post that nor mention the name as I was asked to keep that email and them out of the public eye. But I have to mention it. There is obviously some ‘revisionism’ taking place at some stage of communications. I can only make suppositions about the why of that, so I leave it as is here.
(Message to CC: If you really think my going to GS’s house to use his internet destroyed your efforts at Coastal, why don’t you make the short drive to his house, or if too lazy for that, CALL him and ask him. He is right out there on Padre Island, a whole hell of a lot closer to spitting distance to you than me. Making assumptions like that without proof shows how shallow this water has become.)
Then came the OVM event. I attended this one as well, not as ‘myself’ per se, but as a representative of the Texas Patcom. Before that event took place, Nye and I, in phone conversation, discussed selling off raffle items, if needed, to get the cash needed to make the trip. I told Bill at the time of conversation, that I had my reservations on selling any of the raffle items, but if need be,,,, This was repeated to Cavanaugh by phone as well, and his statement was essentially “I agree on not wanting to sell, but if Bill says,,,,”(paraphrased) While at the OVM event, I sold one box of 5.56 ammo, that had been donated by Nye. There was more ammo than that, but it was either .22 or 7.62x54r. There was no demand for the later. This comes back to bite me in the ass later in the year. Again, no ‘proof’ that conversation took place as I don’t record phone calls, especially with a trusted friend. (at that time, I felt just such )
While at the OVM event, I made arrangements with Harry to ride share to the Summit in Mercer Co. I had to drive half the distance, where I was picked up by Harry for the remainder of the trip but that would save me greatly in travel costs. I did have to re-arrange my ‘lodging’ as at all the events up to the Summit, I stayed in my SUV for the most part. This round, I used my tent (hammock actually)
The events at the Summit were recorded in an AAR by myself on my blog and others on their sites. The last day, when everyone split up, I went with the OVM and spent that night in a shared room with Harry (an OVM member). I was invited to dinner with the group and there we continued the discussions. At that dinner, I was asked questions about other Patcom attendees, to include Nye and Cavanaugh. I stated my opinions of them in the positive. At that time, I had a positive opinion of them, and no reason to think otherwise. I even defended Nye’s abrasive approach.
After that came a lull in the Patcom’s, at least the ones I could attend. I was not receiving any donations at this stage, nor support to attend others from the TX group. To be honest, I needed a break from all the travel and a chance to rebuild some savings doing side work here locally.
China Syndrome’s event in Indy. I received no support from the Texas Patcom to attend this event. I had even stated to them (phone calls) that I may not be able to fulfill that part of the mission. That was accepted, as I had attended Mercer Co which was the key event I had been elected to cover.
At the last minute, I was able to make the trip. Literally day of kick-off of the event, I received a cash donation from a local person that had been following the event. I was able to deliver the remaining raffle items (minus that box of 7.62, which was misplaced with all the moving around. This box was later given to Wonderdog in Texas.) and I carried the torch of Patcom forward. The event was pretty danged good, and even had some far travelers other than myself show up Blue drove from way out in the western states to attend for only a few hours then turn around and go back. Amazing! At the end of the event, there was a collection put together to help me out. I neither asked for it, nor insinuated to it, and I was quite humbled by the gesture. It definitely put me on more comfortable footing for my return trip home and I still thank those that gave for the effort.
One thing I need to point out to clarify the rest of this post: When I was on my way home from Coastal Patcom, I holed up at Pickdogs retreat in Central Texas. While there, I did a little job searching, just to see what that realm of the world looked like. I decided to come back to Texas at a later date. I even made arrangements for a place to stay with Pick at that time. When I returned to KY, I was given another truck from a family member (didn’t need it) and with some searching and found an RV that the couple wanted to trade for a truck. Serendipity, but it worked. Now I could make the move to Texas and find work so that I could raise the money to build my house in KY. That was the plan anyway. It took a couple of months to raise the money to make the trip there. I had started researching how to extend the Patcom towards the Central part of Texas as well. Establishing contacts of interested parties ,etc. This was going to be a two fold move, and not just to better my financial status. (the unemployment payments had stopped after the Coastal Patcom)
Some of that time was documented on my blog as well. What was not documented was the failure by myself to establish the Patcom movement there. Several reasons, and not one is good enough by itself to hold water. I also make no excuses. I failed, and that’s that.
I was also not able to find work above minimum wage. That bothered me as the distances to drive out there would have ate my wages in fuel costs. No win situation. I worked for Pickdog (also documented, but not the reason) to raise the money to move my butt back home where I could at least be closer to my intentions for the long run: my house and a workshop.
That move home stopped in Winfield TX for a time. Blown engine. Again, Documented. Yes, there were donations to help me get back on the road. While I was working on that dilemma, I was also picking up sub-contract work through the city there. It was during that time the falling out happened between Nye and myself. In a nutshell, what I can figure is, Lack of Communication. Nye was being attacked on his blog and was offended when certain persons didn’t come to his defense. I was unaware of it until AFTER I was attacked in Texts and online. No phone call or text or email prior, asking why I didn’t help out; just straight into attack mode. He even managed to ‘reason’ out that I was influenced by MVB through some rather loose affiliations. (Obvious Moniker, a guest author on my blog, had extended editing services to MVB. That simple extension somehow apparently meant that I was in MVB’s employ and a plant against the Patcoms) Those texts WERE copied and emailed out. Not to try and win favor, but to cover my ass in that situation. I had seen how vindictive Nye can be when he wants to silence a blogger; I really didn’t want to be on the receiving end of that. I even went so far as to change out my blog form, format and content, just to distance myself from the antagonism.
When it came time for me to leave TX (travel money built up) I was given a choice. Home, or the Indy Patcom group, whom were inviting me there at that time. I wanted to go home, as can be attested by a Ghost, but my father told me to hold out as the work scene in KY had become even worse. I went to Indy.
While in the Indy Group, the accusations of theft by Nye started coming in. That was also when I found that Cavanaugh was not willing to defend friends, amongst friends. The theft accusation was over that box of ammo. Later it was expanded into my ‘stealing hard earned money from patriots’ by taking donations. (note: I do have copies of those texts and just how twisted the thinking is). And since then, I have seen that ‘illusion’ of theft extend into Cavanaughs thinking.(as noted in that email I am not at liberty to publish. GRRR)
What happened in Indy will not be discussed here. Least to say, the members that were founding that group, including the host of the host site, did not have final say in how that came apart. It was not due to internal conflict though. Due to the nature of that, I am not at Liberty to discuss it publicly.(this can be verified through China, though he will likely take the same stance of not discussing it in detail or in public other than verify it came apart by outside influences)
I was heading back home again.
That trip home had me working my tail off, mid trip, to put a transmission in the beast. No donations this round, all a loan from a family member. I didn’t feel posting a plea for help was ethical at this stage: My Patcom torch had sputtered out and I was retreating back to my homesite.
That was 4 months ago. I had not posted anything about that time; I just didn’t see any reason to open old wounds. I have maintained contact with the other three people that had much to do with the build up there. There are no hard feelings about what happened. It bites, as we really were making progress towards the goal. My silence on that could be misconstrued as guilt, if someone were looking for such. I leave that as a mental exercise for the reader.
4 almost 5 months now, I am back on my property trying to build my homestead. 8 since the last accusation and attack. I thought that the slander and accusations would cease. I was shown that such was not to be when I was emailed to let me know that Nye and Cavanaugh were back at the slander again.
I had had enough. Time to lay out a trap to show the world just how messed up that little circle jerk is.
(and by the way CC, I changed that font from red to yellow to make it easier to read on my home page, NOT to show you as ‘yellow’. But if you want to take it that way, Freudian reflection and all, hey, more power to you.)
So, now my side is out there. I made some mistakes in trusting people, but at no time did anyone hold a gun to my head: My mistakes are mine and mine alone. I am done with this, I am done with the “Patcom” scene. I learned that while there are many good people out there, there are some that are only in it to make themselves into something they are not. I have lifted that lantern, and the progressive mentality I see (The “it’s not my fault, I’m a victim!” kind of horse shit.) is the same as what you see on the Television. Only this is real life and supposedly downhome conservative people, and that makes it much harder to swallow.
I leave it to the reader to determine who is telling the truth, or if neither side is. At least try to see whose “story” is based in reality and not self-delusional feedback.
It’s time for people to figure out who the real Carney-man is.