And not what gets one motivated, but more the underlying drive that keeps us all moving forward. I read blogs, all around, not as much as I did, but still enough to keep a touchstone of what is going on in the prepper world, patriot world, as well as some other spheres.
What I am seeing is that there are some that have the motivation to do good things, but there is an underlying motivation that is very much narcissist driven.
I try like hell to avoid those types these days.
I am sure some of my regular readers have seen that I am keeping neutral on many fronts. My reasons are really nothing more than the desire as noted in my page description above. Leave me the hell alone.
Another would be this: Age tuum negotium,= mind your own business Applies in both directions.
My plans as they currently idle, are to build my shop, my house and grow my ‘local local local’ as best I can. Yes, it is possible to do both growing of my homestead and my local network; in fact, they have to go hand in hand or there will be zero growth here for me. There is still very much a “homeboy” attitude in these parts and if you aren’t known by someone, you are an outsider, and therefore suspect till you prove otherwise. They will not go out of their way to help you, nor will they hinder you (other than not opening up a job position to you, till you can prove you know someone on the other side of the door)
Note, nowhere in the above mentioned plan is for me to follow up on the Patcoms, or continue that ‘legacy’. My reason for that is that I did try to continue that legacy and my efforts were for naught. I have been slandered, ridiculed and ostracized by some from that effort, and the whole time I had tried to push that effort, It was by putting aside MY personal future. Yes, there were some that helped financially to those ends, but in the end, it was on ME. MY time, my finances, my personal logistic methods, and my choice. NOTE, the last item there. MY CHOICE. I don’t begrudge anyone, anything for the events of the last 18 months, I did things by my choice, when I could have decided to be outright selfish and kept on where I was; where I am again. As it stands, I am pretty much right where I was in October of 2011, no better, no worse.
No, I take that back. I am better for the experiences of the last 18 months. I learned a lot. Some of what I learned, while necessary, was also eye-opening and painful. Those events have made me rather un-trusting of some in the movement. I met many people going to the several Patcoms and Summits. I helped some good people move forward in their AO’s in some ways shape or form. I found that there are MANY good people in the field, and then some that are little better than what we currently have at the Administration level or our current Government. I have seen some give so freely of themselves that I can’t even express gratitude enough. I have seen it, not just with my situation, but in others, across the country. People giving so freely, with no expectations of a return, just providing support to those in need, that it fueled me to keep going.
Then I saw others, that sucked up that giving, pissed on it, and kept up the same ol’ same ol. I saw others, bragging about how much they were given, and even belittling others that had received NOTHING, then turning the tables on people and demanding a return on ‘their investment'(?).
Those are just some of the reasons I am back on my hillside, kickin’ the clods, and been keepin’ my mouth shut about that whole scene. I see through a lot of the bullshit now. I am not a great man, I have my foibles the same as any of us. I will run the gamut when that time comes, but I will no longer run with the dogs that are only looking to leg up on their own. In some ways, that could have others misconstrue me as a socialist, as I want all of us to rise together, not just use the events unfolding to benefit us individually. I would like to think that the things I have, and have been blogging about are little pieces of information to help others. I want to think that, as this is it for me. I can’t go running around the country anymore to do it, and if I can’t get any message across on the blog, then there is not a point in the blog. I know that I have helped others. I have physical proof of it in several places around the country. I have had conversations with some that swear that I helped them out, if only by being an inspiration. There are some things that I have ‘helped ‘ with, where I was compensated in FRN’s. That is called working my way around this country. Not on donations, of which there were some, but nowhere near what I spent in fuels, repairs, or just my own upkeep(and I have a very small upkeep charge) Repairs, yes, the donations when I blew the head in the beast paid for that, but there were no donations for a blown alternator, wheel hubs, tires, the dropped transmission in the beast while in Lexington, or the myriad of other things that go into keeping wheels turning. There is a small handful of people completely aware of the tribulations that I have traversed these last 18 months. I keep it that way as I still prefer some privacy in my life, and I find no reason to bitch about things that ‘happen’ thanks in no small part to my choices. Vehicles wear out, and fuel gets burned. There are some that went above and beyond to help me out while out there. Soffitrat in Texas, both times, when vehicles decided that I should become a Texan. Details need not be expanded on other than that Soffitrat Drove 80 miles one-way with a trailer to get me off the side of the road. Thanks also go out to PaleRider for letting me hole up at his truck compound while I had a transmission rebuilt for the beast (and had to replace the steering assembly and hubs on Lexi. Thanks also to Harry Steele and the OVM. Harry for splitting the ride(and great conversation) to the summit and the OVM for the very short hotel stay and dinner while at the summit.)
While I recall all of these things with some glow of pride, I also feel a slight pang of remorse that I did not stick to my original plans and start building. All of the money that was spent over the last 18 months would have bought nearly all the materials I needed to get at least my shop up and running. I won’t regret the things that have passed though. “IS” wouldn’t have had it any other way, and I am a better person for it, with more experience under my belt to judge the future with.
And I came back with a really cool blue eyed dog that is daily turning into one of the best dogs I have ever had the experience of knowing. I made (and remade) some friends that will last the rest of my life, met great people and reinforced my own hope in this country by meeting them.
But I was also burned enough to decide that my AO is going to be, pretty much, that of a Hermit on a hillside. And I don’t regret that (re)learning experience either. I will just use much more caution in the future in whom I trust.
One other thing I have learned. There are some out there, that constantly harp on ‘taking action’ , and may even have some action going (usually at very little risk to themselves, mind you) that many in the patriot movement look up to. (yeah, I am pokin’ a hornets nest here) I won’t list names, there are many to list. What I would ask you to do is; think for yourself. How many are risking “Lives, fortune and sacred honor” to the cause, and how many are just pounding keyboards. How many have stepped off the porch to plug a shell into a shotgun, or just loaded a gun for the camera at home. How many are getting arrested standing up for a belief. How many have traversed this country trying to promote an idea, at personal cost beyond mere finances. How many have “Gone Off” then turned around within 24 hours and issued an “official Retraction”? Think about these things. I won’t try to rally you against any one person, I could care less who you admire, or despise: It is your privilege as an American, as a Human Being. I find it best to just ignore those you despise (Don’t ignore them, but certainly don’t stroke their egos by naming them outright either. Watch your enemies like you would watch a snake in your yard) I have found it best to remain as neutral as I can: there are so many in the circle jerk of the blogosphere that will lay one ‘credit’ of note, or even cross affiliation, as total allegiance of faith to that person. Got news for ’em all. Ain’t none of us perfect or lily white. We all have our fuck-ups and fall-downs. IF’n I were to quote someone, it is because what they stated AT THAT TIME is the truth as I perceive it in my world. It does NOT mean that I am enthralled with that persons view, or am beholden to them. I am beholden to one person only, and that is myself. I am beholden to one belief in life and that is TANSTAAFL. Many of my beliefs stem from that one principle. Yes, I am a rational anarchist. (some of you know the difference, I see no reason to elaborate on it here)
That is why I no longer have a blog roll. Too many would take one or more of my daily reads as sign of allegiance to something I hold no allegiance to. It may be nothing more than information, just like NSA looking at your emails to see what you are saying, I may read a site just to keep an eye on what some fucknut is doing. Unlike the NSA though, I read exactly what that person puts into the public sphere and nothing more (well, I may read between the lines but,,,,,)
Watch your enemies, vet your associates, question motivations if you have a reason to doubt (BOTH SIDES OF THAT EQUATION) and keep moving forward on your efforts. The game isn’t over, and the rules are about to get quite interesting.
And with that little sumpin off my chest, I now return you to the original programing of this blog. Sparks, coffee and dog fur. Workin’ on sumpin that y’all’re gonna enjoy, but I have to take pics while in progress before posting. Hang tight for it.
(Edited to change font colors)